[amandacc26]

I have a question. My husband and I are adopting domestically. If we were to have had a bio-male child we would not circumcise. Do we have any right to ask that this not be done if we are matched with a boy? If so, when and who would you say this to, agency or mother?



Weird question I know, but something that has been on my mind for a while. Any suggestions are welcome! Thanks!

[bagletkt]

If the bmom does not have insurance the hospital probably will not do a circ.

[mommieof2cuties]

I think it is up to the pbmom until the papers get done. However, with that said if you have a honest and open relationship with the pbmom you could talk about this together. Maybe she has not idea what would be better.

God Bless,
Summer

[ourdreamcametru]

I know our bmother's family did not believe in giving immunizations, we told her we would like for Castle to have them so she signed a power of attorney before Castle was born so we could make medical decisions for her in the hospital.

[mommmmy]

You have every right to express whatever it is that you wish.

However, depending on the situation, the birthmother may be the one to actually make that decision. It may depend greatly upon the state and how circs are done in that particular area.

This was a huge issue for us too. We are very much anti-circ. We were very up front about that. Some women were fine with it, others were not.

We ended up with a baby girl. But honestly, even though her birthmother told us it would be up to us to make that decision if she had a boy (everyone, including her, thought she was going to have a boy) Once we were out there and saw everything that went on....I wondered if she may have had a boy circ'd. In that particular area my understanding is that it's common for the OB to actually circ boys the day after birth.

However, I've also heard that medicaid may not be covering circumcision any longer. I don't know if this depends on the area or not. Also many insurances have stopped paying for it.

I don't think it's a weird question - it was a big deal for us.

since you are working with an agency I would let them know and make it very clear to them.

[mom2justynsarah]

I would mention that to the birthmom way in advance of giving birth. She is the biological mother. You have no say (in the hospital) until she signs the paperwork allowing you to take the baby out of the hospital. At least this was the case with my daughter.

[amandacc26]

Thank you all for you responses. I am glad that is not such a strange topic afterall. Great advice and when the time is right I will feel comfortable expressing our wishes.
Thanks again!!!

[munchkinwoman]

If its an open adoption you can ask the birthmom. If the birthmom says no you can always have it done after the adoption if final.

[mom2justynsarah]

Originally Posted by munchkinwoman

If its an open adoption you can ask the birthmom. If the birthmom says no you can always have it done after the adoption if final.

Absolutely! Good advise!

[BestLight]

Originally Posted by munchkinwoman

If its an open adoption you can ask the birthmom. If the birthmom says no you can always have it done after the adoption if final.

I think Amanda would be more interested in UNdoing it.

[munchkinwoman]

I misread what she wrote.


all you have to do is talk to the mom about this and see what she says. I dont think an agency would have much say.

[lisa in venice]

Depending one where you are routine circ is not done in alot of places. I know when My boys were born in CA 7 years ago and in RI 17 years ago it was not done unless specifically requested and if the birth was paid for by Medicaid it would not be done unless you paid for it in advance. In most case the adoptive parents get to decide. I was briefly matched with an expenctant mom who only wanted couples who would agree to Circumcing. We passed.

lisa