[stillwaiting]

Our son will be two in a few days and my dh and I are on again - off again about adopting another child.

We think...when the time is right we will know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

How did you decide to adopt your second child?

Also, on the flip side - - - if you only have one child are you content with only one child? Is you child content with being an only child. If you were an only child were you happy being an only child?

At this very moment....I am content with one child but I think as my son gets older I will wish we had adopted again.

I don't know ...any advise?

[mama2one]

My husband and I always planned on having a second child when our son turned 1. Well, after 7 years of trying, our son is still an only child. That is why I am trying to get my hubby to move on to adoption, only he still has the farfetched belief that my reproductive system works o.k. HA! Any ways, I am an only child and always wanted a sibling, even now at 33 years old, it occasionally pops into my head "if my parents have a car crash, I will be an orphan." Is that silly or what. I desperately want my son to have a brother or sister eventhough now they would be many years apart.

[ruth1]

I am going through the same dilemma. We have a daughter who is 3 and right after we adopted her, her country closed. We knew if we adopted again, we would want to adopt from the same country and the fact that it was closed made it safe for us. Well, now there is some movement (although it is still risky) and we are panicking and not sure what to do. I would absolutely love for my daughter to have a brother or sister, but I am quite content with my life with just her.

I worry that I am too old to deal with diapers and formula again, but then I feel selfish for feeling that way. I'm also worried that I'll get all wrapped up in the process again and something will go wrong. Everything was so perfect the first time and we couldn't ask for a more wonderful, beautiful and perfect child. How will I feel when a second comes along?

Does it all come down to what you think is right for your child? Or should it be what is right for You? I would love to hear thoughts on that.

I actually have had my paperwork filled out and sitting on the shelf behind me for a week. My husband and I have been scared to put it in the mailbox!

[Brittmomto3]

We planned that when our daughter turned a year we'd try for a second child and were BLESSED with a second and a third daughter!

We wanted our children to be pretty close in age and they are ... so it's nice.

I have a close friend who has one child and struggles with if should she have another for her daughters sake.

I think if you are ready for another child you will have an indescribable urge to "go for it" -

There is nothing wrong with being content with 1.

We always wanted / dreamed of having three children ... dreams do come true!

[shylagirl]

After much discussion about more childern we only have one. We've agreed that our family is perfect for us. We are still young and people keep insisting we should have one more but we are happy with our choice. S has cousins that live close who she sees often and seem content. Although she trying to make our home into a farm. I wish the best of luck with you choice!

Crystal

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by stillwaiting

Our son will be two in a few days and my dh and I are on again - off again about adopting another child.

We think...when the time is right we will know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

How did you decide to adopt your second child?

Also, on the flip side - - - if you only have one child are you content with only one child? Is you child content with being an only child. If you were an only child were you happy being an only child?

At this very moment....I am content with one child but I think as my son gets older I will wish we had adopted again.

I don't know ...any advise?

We always wanted a large family but by the time Bug was born, we were so done with it all. Tired of the rollercoaster and waiting. We knew she would be an only.

Well...

she was about 6 months old and we were at a family gathering with DH's family who is most probably the most fertile family on the planet except of course DH and me. There was our Bug, the only babe... her "cousies" LOVE her but they will grow up and go on with their lives and she will be the "only". We decided right then that we felt it was important to add to our family. Not only that but our relnships with all our sibs are great and we want that for our kids.

Our hope-to-be son (6 days til revoc period is up) is right next to me, swinging and asleep at 6 days old. Bug (27 months) is upstairs getting her jammies on with her Daddy. We just knew we wanted another, even though Bug filled our lives up so much. We have plenty of room and we wanted her to have a sibling to share her life.

#3??? Now THAT is another story... not even going there...

You will know...

[intladoptionblog]

Our son was the only internationally adopted child in the country where we live. Adding a sib from the same country to our familiy felt important for all of us. Plus, two kids have us smiling twice as much. There's a two and a half year gap between them and they ADORE each other.

[DebCsMom]

You will know when the time is right. If being content with one is what makes you happy, then it's fine. We wanted a large family. We have 2 bio children 2 years apart. Then God had other plans for us & we could no longer have bio children. Ten years later we adopted our DD, 26 months later another DD & then 14 months later DS. We are now in the process of adopting again but through the state this time, an older child. Kind of filling in the gap kind of thing! LOL


Remember, depending on the type of of adoption it can take a long time. So sometimes starting the process even if your in the "I'm not sure" stage, isn't such a bad idea.

Deb

[rjsmom]

Stillwaiting - thank you for starting this thread.

DH and I have been going back and forth as well - ds is 13 months. I always wanted two kids but now I am so content with one. Then sitting here this morning I thought now is the right time but went back to thinking about can I make it through another year or longer waiting. There are just so many thoughts - I think someone has covered them all so far in this thread. I think that I am more afraid to make the leap for number 2 than I ever was for number 1.

I wish everyone the best of luck in making the decision that is right for their family.

[intladoptionblog]

In many ways, we found the wait for our second child much easier. All that time of painful anticipation could be offset by realizing that the focus on our first would end at some point, and he'd have to share the spotlight. We were more than happy to give him his due for as long as it took.
Of course, that being said, every moment from referral to travel was terrible...just not as terrible as when we were doing it without a child at home.
There was also the factor of feeling as though we'd been so very, very lucky with our first...could we possibly repeat that? Were we tempting fate by going through the process again?
Thankfully, we were twice blessed! It was most certainly the right decision for our family.

[StorkWatcher]

I SO want a #2. Hubby is not sure. At first, we thought we might put ourselves back on the agency list when our son turned 1. But now that it's only 4 months away, I can't imagine having another one so quickly, on the off chance it's another short (or even shorter!) wait.

But if we don't start until he's 2 or 3 - what happens if it's another 2 year wait at that time????

Hubby is worried that we'll take away from him. We both have siblings. I can't imagine not. My biggest fear is that he'll be alone one day, trying to take care of aging parents, and worse - he'll be REALLY alone when we're gone.

I want him to experience the wonderfulness of a sister or brother. I just pray my hubby feels the same at some point.

[HBV]

I can't decide. H's adoption was such a roller coaster w/ the Native American problem, and frankly I am not sure I've got the energy for more than one. My only child dh thinks right now that he wants another. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm not ready yet.

[stillwaiting]

Oh...so many good responses. Our adoption was soooo hard. It was contested and we were in court for over 16 months and I think the cost of that plus the fear of it happening again has prevented up from adopting again.

Like you StorkWatcher, I don't what my baby to be alone in this world. What if.....

Hi Deb!!!

I wish we could hear from those out there that are only children so we could hear their thoughts.

I know the bottom line is this - If the Lord wants us to have another child in our family He will place the desire on our hearts and the child in our home.

But as a mom I still worry.....

[arthymom]

This caught my eye.

I am an only. It isn't great. The only upside is that when I have asked my mom (parents are divorced) for time with us or financial help, she has given it to me without hesitation. But that may be true of folks w/siblings too.

The downsides are many. I feel lonely in this world a lot. Cousins aren't the same, when I see my dh and his bro. and sis. with whom he fought as a kid now love each other and would do anything for each other.

As for us, I had to talk dh into adopting a second. He is very happy with one, but my own only childhood made up my mind.

From what I hear, 2 can be more chaotic and challenging. We are both cautious people and are so worried about trying for a second. Esp. since our first is bio. and our second will be adopted; that feels like a bigger leap.

My mind says stay with one. My heart says adopt a second. So that is what we are trying to do now.

Good luck w/your decisions.

[mom2justynsarah]

Originally Posted by stillwaiting

Our son will be two in a few days and my dh and I are on again - off again about adopting another child.

We think...when the time is right we will know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

How did you decide to adopt your second child?

I was ready for baby # 2 when my son was around 18 months. I wanted him to have a sibling fairly close in age. Plus, I loved being a mom. I was just ready for another baby.

But sometimes things don't work out the was WE want them to. It seems that things happen when they are supposed to.

It wasn't until my son was 6 years old when we were blessed with our beautiful daughter. She came into our lives through the miracle of domestic open adoption.

Personolly, I am grateful for the difference in age. My son is now 7.5 years old. My daughter is 18 months. He is old enough to be my big helper.

He will go ahead and get her diaper, or her bottle (or whatever else she may need). He constantly picks her up. He is always kissing and hugging her. It's really sweet.

She just loves him to death. Whatever, or wherever, he goes, she is right on his heels. She follows him around like he is the mother duck and she is his baby chick. It's so cute. I can't imagine having two children very close in age. It would have made me a lot more stressed out.


Also, on the flip side - - - if you only have one child are you content with only one child? Is you child content with being an only child. If you were an only child were you happy being an only child?

My husband was perfectly happy having Justin as our only child. I admit, it was ME who wanted another child. But my son was also pretty vocal about having a sibling. So that was a deciding factor as well.

At this very moment....I am content with one child but I think as my son gets older I will wish we had adopted again.

This is such a personal decision. I don't think any of us could advise you what to do. I think right now, all you really need to do is enjoy him. He has ALL of your attention now. Let him bask in that glory. lol.

My son was an only child for 6 years. That means he had our undivided attention for 6 years. I feel so grateful that we were able to shower him with that much attention. I think it really helped to create his sense of self worth and confidence.

I don't know ...any advise?

If the time is right to adopt again, I think it will resonate within your soul. Best of luck!

Julie