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  #1  
Old 03-16-2001, 07:22 AM
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I am a mommy on a mission/relative adoption

Originally Posted By Lynne

Our names are Lynne and Herb Banks, we live in South Dakota, and have two girls. My question is regarding our second daughter.
She was born, 5/28/99 to Mark and Judith Banks (our nephew and his wife). In Sept. of 99 Judith's grandparents got an emergency court hearing to take custody of Cheyenne Nichole Banks (our daughter). We have court transcripts which will prove that they did not have the proper grounds, etc..
They were granted temp. custody in Sept, with review court date with Henry Count J&D court, Judge Deathridge on Jan 19th 2000. Previously Judith and Mark approached us in regard to adopting Cheyenne. We spoke with several attys. and decided to go forth. State statues state that the kids still had residual parental rights intact and had the right to decide if they wanted to place the baby for adoption and with whom. On that Jan court date our atty. tried to present the petition to adopt, but the judge through it out, for no sound reason. This was than appealed to the Henry County Circuit Court and once again the courts said they could not hear petition, that was in part because of our attys. actions. The end results of that court hearing was to leave the baby in the care of her Great Grandparents who are 70 and 73. Never once was Social Services brought in nor did anyone set up a reunification plan for the baby and her parents.
After much thought and research, in Aug of 2000, we approached another atty. in VA. This time it was David Dalton in Norfolk, VA. We went over everything with him, he talked to the kids and agreed to represent us and file a petition along with the rights for the kids to relinquish. We went before the Henry County J&D courts on Oct 7th. With homestudy complete, and every other "i" doted and "t" crossed, and the backing of the babies GAL, Judge Deathridge granted the petition and took the kids consent. But she would not decide when and where the transfer of custody would take place. She forwarded it all up to the Circuit Court and stated "they shall decide when and where transfer would take place. She also was aware that grgrnds had temp custody but all state statues read that only the aparents and bparents are to be notified of pending adoption. Against our better judgment, grgrands were not notified of proceedings.
Upon going to CC, our atty. spoke with the judge in CC and he told our atty. to send notification to the greatgrands. Which was done. They than came in with an atty., and on Oct 12th the judge ruled that he would take a few days and look over the laws and for us to come back on the 17th and he would give his decision than. Mind you, we had no idea we would be in VA for so long, nor did our atty. think this would happen. Our atty. had a previous trip planned to the Ukraine, and had to leave us on our own. The day of the 17th, he did speak to the judge and other atty. over the phone and than in the court room the judge said "I do not find anywhere in the state laws where it states that anyone else has the right to be notified other than the ap and bp, but, there must be a loop hole here somewhere. I am going to hear this again on Dec 7th 2000.
All along, during our visits there, we were given visitation with the baby.
Now because of his ruling, we had the right to file a brief giving the judge every reason why he should overturn his decision. The judge then allowed the other atty. to do the same. finally on Nov 28th the judge, atty. and myself held an over the phone hearing and the judge ruled in our favor and granted us custody. On Nov 30 with another phone hearing, the judge set up time and place for transfer. The other atty. than mentioned appeal and asked the judge to execute a stay so that the great grands could maintain custody. The judge denied it based on the state statues, that the bparents were within their rights.
We took physical custody of our daughter on Dec 5th.
By the new year, the grgrnds appealed the judges decision and now it is in the VA appeals court. Last week we got word that Rodney Poole (former president of the American Academy of Adoption Attys.) has agreed to co-counsel the gr grnds in the appeal. This part is making me very nervous.
In the state of SD we cannot finalize till the child has been in our home for 6 months. An ICPC has been completed and follow up home study visits are being completed.
What should have cost $2500.00 is now edging towards $30,000.00. This is our great niece, and the bparents had the rights to decide where their child was to be raised and with whom.
We need help.
What would happen if the grgrnds win this appeal, is they would than get us back down to CC in Henry County. The cost is only going to rise. How are we to handle this?????
I love this little girl more and more everyday. She has just blossomed since she has came home. We have documentation as to the changes that have taken place. Believe me when I tell you what kind of a home she came out of. Most of us do not experience the things this baby did, nor the things we did upon visiting this home. It was a real eye-opener for us. And it made us more determined to bring her out of there.
Can you help or make any suggestions?????
Lynne Banks
lbanks8929@aol.com
P.S Annie if doing wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!! She loves to sing, her circulation is much improved!!!!!!! She loves her big sister Katie and is finally giving kisses and hugs and is having fun doing so!!!!!!!!
Thank you all for your wonderful loving support!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-15-2001, 12:20 AM
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Re: I am a mommy on a mission/relative adoption

Originally Posted By traci

i just have a question. okay what i can't seem to understand this. are u this little girl's biological mom? or a relative to the b-mom? i am going through a terrible ordeal right now. i was adopted. okay, now i have a beautiful baby boy. he was born on january 17,2000. he was taken from me bcz someone where i used to live, called C.P.S. on me. and i went to court 3 times. and all 3 times i lost. now i know i am not the most perfect mother in this world. but i did try my hardest. i don't know maybe i should have tried even harder. but that is in my past. i am moving on to the future. well, my adoptive brother got temporary custody to my son. he has moved to montana and won't even let me be a part of my lil' boy's life. at the time, yes i was smoking weed and drinking here and there. and i did want to party. and i am truely sorry for that. at the time, after he was taken from, i didn't know what else to do. so i ended up doing other drugs. which by doing that, landed me in jail a few times. after i saw this lady in jail. she was deaf and had 6 kids, plus a baby on the way. i knew i couldn't let my son become a part of that lifestyle. i had a boy friend in prison. so i decided to let my brother and his wife adopt my son. they have 3 kids of their own. but after i signed the adoption papers in utah, my brother decided to go on vacation with his wife. leaving his 3 kids and my then 7 month old son with me and my parents. ( which is my brother's real parents). so i was finally able to spend soe quality time with my lil' man. at the time, my mom told me that she thought it would be best to not be around him while they were there. but at nite time, he would wake up crying. so me being his b-mom would immediatally get up with him. and i still had my milk coming in. so i thought i'd try. but he only drank for about 1 min. then would cry some more. so i decided to get his formula for him. i even fell asleep with him a few times on the couch. i know he still knows that i am his mom. and we still have this bond. but after spending a lot of time with him, i knew i couldn't give him up. and then when my brother got home and said that they were gonna change his name bcz there were too many brandons in his wife's side of the family. but, honestly, i do not think it is fair. i named him brandon. i think they are disrespecting me as his b-mom. and well a few times already i have changed my mind. now it is back to me wanting him back. i deserve a chance to raising the child i gave birth to. and no body even gave me a chance.
since last year, i am doing wy better. i have a job. i have a boyfrend whom i love very much. and he loves me. we are planning on getting married soon. i have been drug-free for over 9 months now. and i don't even drink anymore. my partying days are very much over. i want to be a mother to my son.
so if u could please. will u please give me some advice. and pointers. i need support and comfort right now. and someone to talk to.
thank you very much
traci..
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