[Leigh131313]

Well, no IDEA what we are going to do today. My inlaws were supposed to come down today, but called this morning to cancell. Apparently SHE didn't feel that we really wanted them to come....whatEVER.

I seriously can not stand her crap.


Dh wants to go see THEM next weekend...blah. She makes me want to bang my head against a brick wall. there, thats better.

[akcskye]

Today was not a good weekend.

Those of you that pray, please keep a dear friend of mine in Texas in your prayers.

I just got word Saturday that her husband of 10 years died Thursday from a massive heart attack while shopping at Target when she was getting her 6 y/o son from school.

He was just 50.

She went through all sorts of fertility treatments with her hubby, and finally conceived little P 6 years ago through AI.

This is a very tough time for her, so any prayers sent her way would be greatly appreciated.

She has no family in TX, so she is essentially going through this "all alone" until her family arrives either later 2 nite or tomorrow.

I have known her for 10 years now and it just breaks my heart...he was an insulin dependant diabetic, who never tried to really help himself in the way of diet and exercise, and now, he's left a widow and a son without a husband/father.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Leigh131313]

How sad for your friend and her little one.

They are all in my thoughts.

[tyiakoum]

Originally Posted by Runyan2002

Tammi - I changed up my profile a bit to be more "flexible". After my whole thing I though...okay...your right, my sound pushy. I still want open adoption, I just made a point to say that each open adoption is different and ours willl be unique and what they are comfortable with (thanks Leigh with your help with this). Anyways - should be changed on Monday. Thanks for that (if I didn't say it before)!



Natalie

Nat, I am glad you changed it. It is great you are so enthusiastic about open adoption. But I think that if an expectant mom inititally wants pics and letters, then is more open to fully open (or not), it gives you a better chance for more expectant moms to not overlook you and DH. I know from experience in my waiting parent support group, many women who have placed their children usually initially have to keep a distance from the situation because of the emotional pain of it all. Most of the waiting parents in my group have adopted before, sometimes twice, and that is generally what happens.

The other thing is, our agency told us that every adoption (at least, in MA) is an open adoption and that it is illegal now for closed adoptions to take place. Many expectant moms have been educated about this, at least here, so it's kind of a "given" that the adoption will be open to some extent, and once you are chosen, you work w/the expectant woman to decide if your level of openness and hers mesh to make a match.

Your profile is great!

We got yet another parentprofiles contact that turned out to be nothing. The couple that contacted us did not respond to my email back.

On the other hand, our surroangel and us are planning on them coming up for a visit. I think we'll have a great time. We will see her and DH and the kids next week when we get together at the clinic and also for the contract signing the day before the clinic visit. From there, it will be her and us TTC through the clinic.

I really feel that this point that our only option is the surrogacy. Nothing is happening, still, w/the agency. No placements... they are just trying to get over last spring's huge turmoil and mass resignations and replacing all the staff. They have an expectant mother advocate who is counseling and going out to educate on choices and give assistance. However, none have resulted in any expectant mom doing anything other than keeping her child. That's why we chose the agency.... for how ethical they are. And if we were in our 30s we would have the luxury of time.

Well, we are not and between us having started this journey when I was 42 and probably completing it when I'm 45, to how bonded we are to our surroangel and her family, to how enthusiastic Andreas is at the thought of the baby maybe looking like his dad (who died a year ago last week)... well....

I can tell you that though I live in fear that it will never happen, I'm not eating up a storm anymore because every day I feel so rejected (and dejected). We are moving forward... no more dealing with scammers and people who have mental illness (yes, we've had a few seriously mentally ill women contact us through parent profiles...).

I'm just trying to get through this week to the next week when we'll be in a whirlwind of finalizing the whole situation.


Kristi, I am so sorry for your friend... as a diabetic, I know it is really, really, hard to live life differently than others and be diligent in your care. I start Byetta on Wednesday. I try and eat as good as I can but sometimes you get sick of being good...

My prayers will be with her and her family. It is tough to be alone away from your family when a crisis happens.

[KarynB]

Oh Kristi,

That is awful...of course we'll keep her in our thoughts. Are you going to be going to Texas to be with her?

Take care,

[Lovebug]

Kristi - I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend and her family.

Tammi - I am glad things are moving forward for you. Let me know how you do with the Byetta!

Painting, painting and more painting. I told DH that I hope after the house is all done and back together we have our little arrival soon!!!!!! I feel like we're doing this for a reason!

--Renee

[Vogi2002]

HELLO!!!! YEAH! Thanksgiving is this week, and even BETTER I am off work Weds - Sunday!!! WHOO HOO 5 day weekend...just one problem. I have to work today and tomorrow. UGH. Anyways, not much going on today really, trying to get by, it's so boring here and my head is killing me for some reason. Oh, the whole "fix the car" thing was a fiasco, took literally ALLL sunday and ended up costing us 350$ to fix. Great. Anyways, I need another weekend to recuperate. Good news is I have myself packed (clothes only) and my dogs packed (yes, I have to pack stuff for them..food, toys, etc) and the rest of the stuff all put together. Dh still has to pack but he's pretty quick about it usually. I'm hoping to leave for KS tomorrow at like 5pm then I won't be back until Sunday (I will hopefully check the boards a little at my moms). It's going to be hectic but what holiday isn't?

So next Weds I have the meeting with my agency to make an addendum to my homestudy. I will ask them then what changes this makes to our wait. Hopefully it's shorter, but who knows. I'm starting to doubt ourselves and if we will get chosen, but I'm really trying not to think that way, considering we have only been waiting 4 months now.

You know what I really need? A freaking vacation. I won't get one as I am saving all my time up for maternity leave but i NEEEEED one. anyone else? LOL

Krisit- prayers are coming thier way. How sad and what an awful loss.

Natalie

[akcskye]

Thank you all,

I wish I could be there in TX with her.

But, her family is finally there and she has a huge chain of support now through her church (even P's school has given her Wal-Mart gift cards and the like).

I live in OK, and with the funeral going to be Tuesday, I simply cannot make it being Thanksgiving is now going to be at my house.

She understands this, but I stay on the internet and contact her a few times a day on the phone (we're actually long time internet friends who have seen each other a few times).

I just feel so helpless. I can't imagine what would happen if Tony (my hubby) were to die. It sure puts things "into place" when you have to evaluate others lives.

Hubby is healthy, but has fought high BP since I've known him. Now I get this fear in the back of my head "what if something happened to him before finalization?"...I wonder...would my babies be taken back into the system? Would they let me, as a single mom care for them?

Yikes, I don't want to think any deeper. But thank you for providing her your support.

[2manyks]

we ARE on vacation! we are in the carribean. it is pouring rain and windy. not exactly what we expected! imagine 11 kids and rain. we have played every game, 3x's, watched a ton of movies, and read books. i even got to read a little yesterday. and, even though its rainig, its better then the usual dishes and laundry i do at home. anyone cooked a turkey in their swimsuit? this is going to be a first for me.

we decided to go on vacation when we learned that the birthfather of 2 of my children got to have a homevisit from prison on thanksgiving. he was expecting a visit from the kids. we decided to avoid the whole thing by being out of town. can you believe prisoners get home visits for good behavior. its complicated. so we are basking in the sun, ok not so sunny, instead.

Denice

[Leigh131313]

Oh wow.....what a great excuse to take a Holiday!! I'd go for a much lesser reason..LOL

[ChasingRainbows]

So I am not going to post this everywhere because that is silly, but I have had a bunch of people comment that my last screen name was easily misunderstood "meadopting". I didn't even notice it looked funky I was thinking the first initial of DH and I...Matt and Elizabeth.

Anyway, Matt said something about it too last night. So I am bowing to the pressure and I don't feel like answering the question anymore. So I am still Elizabeth, waiting with DH for our child to come home to us for the past 6 months...well really longer but 6 months officially.

I kinda like "Chasing Rainbows" because I feel like that is what we are doing with adoption. I am just waiting to find my baby at the end of "my rainbow" KWIM?

We are not going out of town for Thanksgiving, we are going to a cousin's house for dinner on Thursday and going to do Friday shopping as is custom in my family. It is so much fun! Although they don't have the good deals anymore like they used to.

We had another acouple who have a two year old pass our information onto a pbmom last night so we shall see if she calls us. They had been talking with her for several months and decided they were not ready to adopt again just yet.

I am greatful for the nibble of a situation lead because we have not had any for a while. I am trying not to get excited yet because she needs time to adjust to building another relationship with another couple. We will see what happens. This would be a private adoption.

Well gotta go ladies, have a good one!

Elizabeth

[tyiakoum]

OK, I'm not gonna jinx this. We got a very very legit call the other day. Someone in-state, due poss. in april. It is too soon to tell if things will work out. I referred her to the agency and they are now working w/her.

She might choose to keep, place w/us, or place w/another family. Who can tell. She is only 4 mos so therefore, I am not sure what the outcome will be. I am only happy that I could help a confused young lady find choices and counseling. Our agency is so ethical I won't be surprised if the chooses to keep the baby after heavy duty counseling.

Therefore, I tentatively say, parentprofiles DOES work. It helped us... but we will see what happens down the road.

We continue on the surro journey since a) we have no children and b) we aren't sure what will be the outcome of this contact.

Happy Thanksgiving to all...

Thrilled, scared and confused (especially at the possibility of two kids around the same age, maybe 8 mos apart!). Never thought we would be in this position. Andreas says it is the best situation we could ever be in.

[skilack]

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Turkey Day. Hope everyone enjoys the turkey and football games today.(I love this dude)

We are still working on our homestudy,so we don't belong here just yet. I'm tired of waiting for the study to be done. I don't know how I will handle the matching part. I'm not very good at waiting. LOL.

[missw005]

As Q says, "Hey! Gobble Gobble!" Which in 5-year-old means "Happy Thanksgiving!" We were at the grocery store last night, and that was his greeting to everyone. What a ham!

We're doing very little today. No big family Thanksgiving dinner or anything. My brother is involved in his own world, which is, well, whatever. Besides, some of his wife's family are a bit on the ol' boy/racist side, so I'd frankly rather stay home.
My mom wants to just relax today, which is totally fine with us. YES, I did invite her to our little supper, but she declined.

No turkey here!!!!! I just don't see the point in making a big turkey dinner with all the trimmings when all the boys will eat is jello, corn and dinner rolls. They don't like turkey, stuffing, or mashed potatoes - which is fine with me. So I'm making lasagna today, which takes a while, but that's just fine with me. We also made the jello "mousse" dessert featured in all the magazines - the kind you make into a mold with a star on top? You mix Cool Whip into it - so the bottom part looks like regular jello, and the top part is the Cool Whip mousse part. It looks pretty good in the magazine, so we'll see how that turns out!

Otherwise, my big goal is to get our outside Christmas lights up. It's supposed to be 18 degrees and snowy by Saturday, and today we're snow-free with almost 50 degree sunshine, so I'm thinking today is the day!!!!!!

I'm also having the BIG DEBATE in my head, which is "Real Tree or Fake Tree?" I bought a fake Christmas tree on clearance last year, even though I am a diehard Real Tree person. But it is a LOT of hassle, I'll admit. So..............I'm still not sure what we're doing.

Tomorrow we are NOT going shopping. Just too crazy, and too easy to spend money I'm trying to save for adoption expenses, whenever the heck that happens. Besides, our town has a big shopping thing tonight - Thanksgiving night - from 6-9 p.m. All the stores have sales, food, drinks, entertainment - it's a big deal, and people come from quite a ways away to shop. It's fun, but also crowded. So I'm not sure if we're going or not.

Actually most of my shopping is already done. For the most part, I just need to pick up gift certificates for my older nephew, niece, and sister in law. And pick out a food tray from Swiss Colony for my dad and his girlfriend.

Oooh........if anyone is a Lands End fan, I got a Free Shipping certificate I can share with 5 friends. If interested, PM me with your email and I'll forward it to you.

Otherwise, I'm hoping to have a relaxing 4 days. (no school = no work for me!) The boys and I are getting our flu shots Friday afternoon, but that's about it.

Anyone doing the Big Shopping this weekend??????

Sandy

[KarynB]

Ok, I'm officially jealous....all you Americans and your crazy timing for Thanksgiving!!! Looks, like it's just you and me, Leigh...sigh. So you all have the weekend off while I am stuck at work - and really busy too! I shouldn't complain, it makes the day go faster...and I guess I can't be THAT busy or I wouldn't be here on this forum chatting!!!

Well, not much happening here. I just a whack of cookbooks a non-profit has put together for a children's home in SA - and our kids are in it! So, it will make a great Xmas gift and go to a good cause too - how great is that? I am trying to buy all my gifts this year from places that support the developing world in some way - although not the kiddos stuff - unless anyone knows of a not-for-profit toy shop out there? haha...