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#781
09-06-2006, 07:36 AM
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Tammi,
Waiting sucks, sucks, SUCKS!!!!  It does drive you crazy. I know all about being afraid to miss the phone call - I'm so crazy, when we get home after running errands or whatever, I RUN in the house to check the machine.  At least we're all here to go crazy with you!!!  As for the anniversary of your friend and grandfather's deaths, wow..........  I'm sorry that this pain is hitting you at such a rough time in your life as it is. Can't offer much advice except to cry it out, and eat some chocolate, or ice cream, or chocolate ice cream until you feel better!  It's great that you do have your kids at school to give you some positive energy!!! Sometimes it's all you need to get through the day.  Welcome, Paper!!!!! We love having people suffer through the waiting with a LOT of laughs with us. Join the funny farm!!!! As for nesting............a few of us (who shall remain nameless) are somewhat guilty of constantly shopping - or at least looking a lot - for stuff for the babies. It's a curse.  Nikki, 29??????? It is TOO a big deal!!!!!! One more birthday, then you're in your Thirties, and it's a whole new ball game from there. Happy Birthday!!  Natalie, OMG!!! Your sink story is HILARIOUS.  Hey, at least you got the steel one you always wanted!!! Got to love that!As for checking it obsessively - girl, I check at LEAST twice a day if not more. I don't know what I'll do when I go back to school/work - I can't post, so all I'll be able to do is read until I can get home and use my own computer. Let alone some teachers don't let the subs use their computers, which will be torture!!!  So I'll be weird, stalkerish and pathetic with you.  Friends of a feather flock together, right??? Leslie, Can relate with teacher not understanding/learning about your ds' special needs. I have a feeling we'll have similar problems this year with J. She did make some small changes, which true, were better than nothing, but again, I hate that we have to wait for him to fail before they'll do more for J. Hope they let you switch teachers today!!! Sandy
__________________
Proud foster mama of many;
Proud transracial adoptive mama of:
J, age 9, and Q, age 6-1/2
Still hoping for more kids.....
 Nellie (the cat), adopted stray
"Friends are the family you choose."
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Adoption Information
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#782
09-06-2006, 07:40 AM
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Anne -
I'm so sorry!! I hope DH comes around about an infant...Natalie - I'm in Ohio, most of the adoption laws are favorable here (putative father regsitry, etc.) and I'd never be able to handle everything directly anyhow. I too have cleaned cupboards and closets, started painting, cleaned the garage, LOL. Who knew? The worst thing is that since I'm not physically pregnant, there is no limit to what I CAN do to keep me in check!
__________________
Michelle (38), DH (35) 6 Rescue Kitties One Waiting to be Matched!!
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#783
09-06-2006, 07:43 AM
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Quote:
OMG I was rolling at this!! SO TRUE!! Dh asked me last weekend what "fire got under my butt" I told him that I just "think we need to get things done"! I am in such a hurry too!! I want EVERYthing to be done RIGHT NOW!!
__________________
 "Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one!"
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#784
09-06-2006, 07:46 AM
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Apparently we're all posting at the same time, so I missed a few people..........sorry!
I've been busy trying to help Q get Little Mermaid 2 going on the VCR. Can Mom, Wow. I'm sorry that the visit went badly. I too hope that your dh can figure out what he really wants to do before you go too crazy. Hugs to you!!!Renee, I know how you feel. Luckily I have my boys, and Q is home with me again today, so that does keep me busy. But you know that the girls - all of them - are constantly on my mind. Will I get chosen? What if I don't? How am I going to make it, waiting for at least another month for their decision? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! At least we get to wait together!!!!!!! I'm sending happy thoughts and chocolate dreams your way! Paper, If you get bored and need more to clean..........I have lots of dust bunnies mating all over the house!!! Sandy
__________________
Proud foster mama of many;
Proud transracial adoptive mama of:
J, age 9, and Q, age 6-1/2
Still hoping for more kids.....
Nellie (the cat), adopted stray
"Friends are the family you choose."
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#785
09-06-2006, 07:47 AM
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Canmom- sorry to hear things didn't go very well, or so it seems now, but it's just another turn in the journey that will lead you to the child you are meant to have. Take some time to heal and be sad, frustrated, etc. and figure out what you want. Have you both considered international adoption? It can be less expensive then private, also there are grants (to those who make under a certain amount) and tax credits (up to $10,000 CDN) available...anyways, just a thought....it may get you a baby a bit faster depending on the country you choose.
Tammi - so sorry you are having such a rough time...but there has to be a silver lining with the long wait for adoption - since you've already waited 13 months, that means you are getting closer and may not have too long of a wait in front of you. We are here to wait with you - we all know how HARD it is.... Nikki - woo hoo!!! Happy birthday!!!! EVERY birthday is a big deal - yay! Nesting - that is EXACTLY what is happening to me. I am reorganizing everything, painting dressers, today i am BAKING banana bread. Ok, i know you guys don't know me very well, but the last time I baked anything had to be in 2001.....I feel so "mothery"...now let's hope our agency gets my vibes and gives us a baby SOON!!!! I would also love for you guys to send our family some positive waves - my BIL was just diagnosed with a brain tumour, and this morning he finds out whether it is benign/malignant, operable or not, etc....so would love those thoughts....they have two small kids who need their dad.... Talk soon, k
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#786
09-06-2006, 07:49 AM
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OMG Karyn,
I hope your BIL gets some good news today. My thoughts are with you are your family. HUGS!!!!!!!!! Sandy
__________________
Proud foster mama of many;
Proud transracial adoptive mama of:
J, age 9, and Q, age 6-1/2
Still hoping for more kids.....
Nellie (the cat), adopted stray
"Friends are the family you choose."
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#787
09-06-2006, 07:51 AM
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Quote:
Yeah, and what really hit me was the YEAR mark. I was good up until then. And also getting "rejected" in July by an expectant mom who chose another family at the agency. It was the first "rejection" we'd had... and the first time our profile had been shown at all. My grandpa and Kathy died only a year ago... so the memory is still really painful for me. I keep thinking of their voices, all the time. I am lucky I get to spend so much time w/kids, and it makes me really confident about parenting (some of the kids I work w/have "issues" so that is where the confidence comes into play) however, when you are childless, and you so powerfully want to be a mom, it really takes your breath away, how powerful the longing is... especially at the homeless shelter I vol. at on Fridays. I play w/all the young'uns and infants while the moms are in classes. It is awesome. I NEVER thought I'd be loving hanging out w/toddlers. Seriously. They are so me me me... but so cool! The way they process things, the way they interact and play. It is really amazing. When you study child development and language acquisition and you get to see it right in front of your face instead of just an example in a textbook... fascinating. I am just one big ball of frustration, pain and hurt right now! Thanks to you all who are trying to help me through this tough time.
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#788
09-06-2006, 09:13 AM
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Sandy - I'll be right over with my feather duster...
But watch out you might find me reorganizing your closets and painting your walls... Karen - Tons of good vibes headed your way... I'm sure it must be very scary and I hope your BIL gets good news today. If it's benign will there be a plan to remove it? My SIL had an AVM removed last summer when it started to bleed after the birth of her second child. She's pretty much 100% now, so if he does have brain surgery and you need a positive story to share with him, let me know and I will give you all the details. Tammi - I wish I had words of wisdom to offer you, but I learned a long time ago that when you are trying to become a parent, platitudes are more annoying than helpful. I'm sure it must be painful each day that goes by with your agency without any progress. Since I'm new I was wondering what the agency says about the wait and why you have only been presented the one time in 13 months? Natalie - That story about the sink sounds familiar... it's so bad in our house that if I can't do it alone we have to negotiate "ground rules" for all home improvement projects... LOL. Oh, and I have a sink fetish too... ours is porcelain and I have a minor melt down every time he puts a pan in the sink and causes those black/silver scrape marks... Lucky for him Comet seems to take them off!
__________________
Michelle (38), DH (35) 6 Rescue Kitties One Waiting to be Matched!!
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#789
09-06-2006, 12:24 PM
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Paper- Glad you made it over!! Welcome welcome WELCOME!! It's illegal to solicit where I live, so everything is up to the agency as well. I do like it that way. It makes it much easier when you don't have it hanging on your head every day...DID I DO ENOUGH??? kwim?
Tammy- So sorry you are going through such a tough time. Kinda getting it from all directions right now, huh? I did volunteer work when we were waiting too...I'm not sure if it helped or made it worse, to be honest. Especially when you see children who are lacking necessities. I also remember putting our lives on hold for adoption too....not going on trips, not planning anything....man it sucks. I refuse to do it this time. I'm determined to make this easier on myself. I agree, any sort of "marker" makes the wait harder. Anniversary's...Christmas, and birthdays. Speaking of BIRTHDAYS!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!!! I LOVED my not-30 party!! Hope you have a great day!! Canmom- Oh my. How disheartening for you. I don't know what to say other then, you WILL get though this. Nat- Dh wasn't THAT far off!! There IS a tool you can get to mix things (cement, paint etc)...but a coat hanger?? sheesh...what a dumba-- you know what i mean. But hey, you got the sink!! *high fives* No he doesn't have to turn it in. It was suggested he notify some people, which he is going to do. That way they can re-examin the area. But he can keep it. Sandy sandy sandy.....hold tight girl...this time better go by quick!! Karyn- healing thoughts for your bil. What a scary thing to go through. hugs to all! I did some errands this morning....trying to get my pictures under control...I'd LOVE to have M's first year done before another baby arrives. Wishful thinking, somedays I don't know if i'll ever be caught up. Oh well!! It's good stress relief!
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#790
09-06-2006, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Oh, Paper..........................don't tease me. BTW, how close are you to northern Minnesota???????? I was just joking with a friend that if I do get chosen for the girls, I'll have to start looking (who am I kidding? as if I'm not already ) for a larger house. The boys' bedrooms are VERY small - let alone 100 yr old plaster you can NOT put nails into and only 1 electrical outlet per room! J has enough room for a bed and a dresser and that's about it. Q has his bed and the crib. We use plastic drawers underneath their beds for their clothes, and the dresser in J's room for off-season clothes. It's very tight. So.............if I get the girls, we have the bed-space (both boys have bunkbeds), but not the clothing space.  Hmmmm.............. We will have to move after all!!!However, when I DO get to that point, there will be a lot of wall repair (the boys are masters at putting small holes in the walls............well, some a bit larger than others ) let alone repainting. I may beg you for a winter trip to freezing Minnesota this winter, Paper!!!!Sandy
__________________
Proud foster mama of many;
Proud transracial adoptive mama of:
J, age 9, and Q, age 6-1/2
Still hoping for more kids.....
Nellie (the cat), adopted stray
"Friends are the family you choose."
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#791
09-06-2006, 01:01 PM
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Thanks for all the great thoughts guys - will keep you posted on the outcome...
__________________
Mom to bio dd - age 14 -  Mom to adopted ds - age 8 - Waiting to adopt #3 from South Africa December 2005 - Began Homestudy May 2006 - Homestudy approved - June 2006 - Profile in South Africa July 2006 - waiting for a referral!!!!!! Nov 2006 - Referral - it's a boy!!!!  Dec 27th - leave for SA! the countdown begins.... January 22nd - Home in Canada with new baby boy.    
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#792
09-06-2006, 01:07 PM
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More about waiting
My sister sent this email to me a while ago and i just cherished it. I had asked her what she was doing (i was bored) and this was her reply. It gives me warm and fuzzy. and then grateful because i'm not as broke as her
!Waiting! Waiting for the mail to come, hoping there's a cheque.(she's self employed) Waiting for the Software support people to respond to my email. Waiting for a good reason to have a shower and get dressed! Waiting for my baby to wake up so he can kick me, I love that feeling. (she's pg due in December) Just waiting, waiting and broke.
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Can Mom Eh! (Anne) Joined CAS pre-HOME-study waiting list - 2003 '03.'04.  '05. '06.  and tired of waiting soooooo long Mommy to Shih-Tzu puppy  Chewy. Oct 2006Maternal Aunty to Wonderful Nephew - Nov 2006 Moving to South WEst Ontario!!! August 24 Start working from Home Sept 8th 2007 - This is the year we get our HOME STUDY 
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#793
09-06-2006, 01:23 PM
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Quote:
LOL... Middle of Ohio... what's that about 16 hours??
__________________
Michelle (38), DH (35) 6 Rescue Kitties One Waiting to be Matched!!
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