[Honesty76]

Andrea Shea-

Madison is doing great!!! Thanks so much for thinking about us. We are absolutely loving having another baby around. We experienced what it truly feels like having 5 kiddos age 5 and under yesterday as we went to Wal-Mart, Target, and Menards together yesterday whew! They will surely remember us though
Maddie is probably the most perfect baby for our family that could have ever been made. She sleeps through the night for like 12-13 hours! She has only ever cried one time in the week she has been here and that was actually more of a fuss for about 5 seconds then that was it. We have already filled up about half of her baby photo album already! Yes, I am one of those looney moms that has to have a picture of EVERYTHING! Oh her first yawn...click.... oh her first smile...click... etc etc.

Anyway, back to diapers, bottles, and pink dryer lint I go! Thanks so much for asking about us.

Best of luck to all,
~Leslie

[CanMomEh]

Baby Proof Everything! for a toddler ! Don't know how DH will react to that. He keeps going back and forth. I told him that we can wait if that is what he wants. But we continue to go forward and he has been able to get all the time off needed to go to all the training sessions.
Tonight he will bake a pie so that the house smells extra nice when SW comes over .- Makes my heart melt. Oh and now he wants a baby instead of older child. I think he is really affraid of getting the worst case scenario dropped on us. I know he will feel better with training.

[KarynB]

Hi all - well, T's first day went pretty well although i am a bit (ok ALOT) stressed about the teacher he was assigned....don't think it is a very good match. Also a bit worried about the after-school care we chose - it seemed great but now I am unsure, when I went today there are a lot of young teenagers in charge and really unsure of how I feel about that. This sucks!!!

Honesty - 5 KIDS!!!! Wowee girlie - you're one busy mama! Pink drier lint - that's so cute. the only thing i get out of my dryer is used kleenex...although the other day i found a seashell in T's pocket - did i mention we lived about 3000 km from the sea?!!!! Hmm....

Canmom- I'm sorry, and I don't want to be a downer here, but it really seems like you guys really need to sit down and do some research and figure out where you are at with all this before you go ahead...I know there are tons of decisions to be made, but these are decisions that are going to affect you for the rest of your lives. I saw in another post something like your dh "doesn't want a really messed up kid" - but what does that mean?And what about what you want? I'm sorry, i've probably said too much, but I really feel like this is too important of a decision - not just for you, but for the kids who may be placed with you too. They are going to do way more than ask you to baby-proof, they are going to inspect your whole life (inside and out) you have to be ready for that. To be honest, the training makes it worse in a way because they do talk about "the worst case scenario" and how it will affect your life. Anyways, i don't mean to put you off or anything - but i would suggest you go to the library with dh and do some extensive research before any decisions are made....Good luck to you both tonight....

Miss - let me know how school went! Are you a supply teacher? that's pretty neat - my dh is a teacher too. Fingers crossed for you and those girls...and I would do a "trial call" to foster parents to see how they react - and take cues from them about how often to call. I like the idea of writing down questions ahead of time though. How old are they again? Are they siblings?

Andrea - how you doing?

leigh - what's new with you?

Joanne - hello fellow-waiter and welcome!

[Leigh131313]

Glad to hear the parties went over well!!

Nat- How the heck did he break a sink??? That must have taken some work! lol. I LOVE the idea of the annual party! My girlfriends and I do parties for each holiday. Most of them are for the kids, but we sure enjoy them too! We also get together once a month for our clothing party (everyone puts in 10bucks, one person wins a month) and we have a ladies christmas party.

Glad to hear it's getting easier. Trust me, it's far better to try to take it as it comes, kwim?

Canmom- WOW, you guys have way more rules than us Albertans!! We didn't have any requirements. Nothing was child proofed....we have smoke detectors, but there was no metion of them....and fire extinguisher? sheesh!! I REALLY don't understand having a house child-proofed before a child is with you!! We didn't child proof until M was crawling around.

And I have to agree...sounds like you and dh need to figure some things out. You really don't want to find yourself in a position that you are not really ready for. Good luck with the soul searching!!

Sandy, I don't think you should rush out and take back those clothes....and if you really LOVE any of them, i'd probably hold onto them even past the return date.

BUT, if you want to, go for it!!


Leslie, glad to hear things are going well for you all!! Hugs to Maddy!!

As for OUR world....My parents came up this weekend, so we went to the Waterton (national park in the mountains) and had a great time!

Dh found an arrowhead a week or two ago, he met with someone today about it. Turns out its about 2,000 years old and is in amazing condition...I guess it was quite a find. He's pretty excited about it....

Not much new here....it's another really hot week, but thats kinda nice for september!!



Anyone catch Rosie on the View? I thought she was a little over bearing....but I reallylike her, so I hope it works out. If most days are like today, She was too loud, and really didn't seem to fit in.

[missw005]

Originally Posted by Andrea Shea

Hello!! Sandy, you are so funny, I know how exhausting all of the prep work must be but you have such a good attititude, I am anxious with you!!! As far as mothers go, I have to say that they had their time as moms and didn't have to go through what we do, and some women want to be moms to more children than others, ect..this is your decision. Do what makes you happy, you know what you can or cannot handle. I have found that telling my mom everything is not a good idea, she doesn't offer support, she offers opinions....you know that old saying, "opinions are like a--holes, everybody's got one" we in the adoption world don't need opnions to know what to do......we know. Just know we are here to support you, sometimes friends and family just can't seem to see the bigger picture.

Hey Andrea!
I thought of your wisdom today.
Speaking of my mother....................
(write this down in your history books, ladies!!!)
Today she apologized, YES , she said she was SORRY that she had "strongly suggested" (read, ACCUSED while screaming and swearing) that I had "misplaced" (read, LOST) some invoices she had me putting in envelopes at home for her business. Her apology was in an email, and it would have been better in person - let alone the fact that I stopped by her office in person today with the boys so J could tell her about his first day of school. But OF COURSE there was no way in hell that she was going to apologize with employees around............
However, her apologizing is EXTREMELY rare, so it was nice. Surprising, even, as she rarely admits she's wrong.

Was talking to my best friend/college roommate this weekend when she reiterated the question of when I was going to tell my mother about the girls.
I'm thinking the day before we leave for the airport!!!
Seriously, though, I wouldn't tell her at all until we got back - but (IF I'm chosen) the state the girls are from (the sibs and the toddler) requires a 5 day transition stay with me AND the boys.........and I know my mother would go crazy if I took the boys on a trip without telling her. However, the look on her face when she came over for her weekly Sunday visit and saw one or two little girls there too with the boys screaming "this is/are our new baby sister(s) Grandma!!!" would be priceless. I'm so bad.

Leigh-
I know it. It's just that money is tight, and since I do have other new baby boy clothes in my gift closet I really should return them.
Though you all know (especially you Karyn, my sister shopaholic!) that it would be difficult for me NOT to shop for possible future children..................

Karyn,
Sib set is 2 y.o. and 2 mo. old girls. Baby would be 4-5 months old at placement by the time ICPC goes through. I am 1 of 2 families being considered for them.
Toddler girl is currently 17 mos. old. I am 1 of 7 families being considered for her.
Both are from a state I've adopted from previously, which will give me some brownie points.

OH! J's first day of 1st grade went really well. He was very excited and happy about it when he came home and is ready to go back tomorrow. I know he'll have some tough times over the next few weeks, but I'm really glad he had a good start.
How was your son's first day???

Leslie,
You lucky duck!!!! Sleeping for 12-13 hours???????? WOW!!! I bet the boys just adore her. To think, she'll have FOUR older big brothers! Good luck with her dating before she's 18! Heck, 25!!!
I am so, soooooooooooo happy for you and dh. To have finally found your daughter and have brought her home in such a short time is just phenomenal. All the best to you and your family. Really.

Can Mom,
The training can be scary, but part of it is to "weed out" families who really shouldn't be parenting special needs kids and should be doing infant adoption. It's not a good parent/bad parent thing - it's a "what are you really willing/wanting to parent for the next 10-15 years?" Let alone many special needs kids will need help for LIFE.
But that's the uniqueness and joy of special needs/foster care adoption as well - you get to CHOOSE what issues you are willing to parent. You choose your child.
I've known really great families who adopted 1 child and it about killed them and ruined their marriage; those who adopted many and would do more if they could financially make it work; those who disrupted their adoption (returned the child to social services) when they realized they were in over their heads; those who disrupted their adoption when they realized their child(ren) were unable to live in a family................and so on.
What they all would say is to be extremely honest - with each other (you and dh) and your worker. Know what issues/behaviors/medical you're willing to parent. Also what ages, (do you have other kids? should you follow birth order placement?) race (are you willing to be a transracial family? From personal experience, it can be a tough road) and sex. (some people think girls are easier, hahahahahahahahaha......) Know that it's a long process to get the kids back on track, and that some kids will never get there no matter how hard you try.

Believe me, I'm not trying to dissuade you. There are soooooooo many kids out there, desperately needing a home and a family to love them forever. I'd love to win the lottery so I could buy a huge house and fill it up with kids who are waiting. (not realistic, I know, a girl's got to dream.........) And I'm the first one to welcome and encourage more families to adopt special needs/waiting children. But you've got to be sure.
The training will help you be sure, but you and dh have got to have some major discussions beforehand.

Ok, off my soapbox now. Sorry.
Anyhoo, I hope dh's pie made your house smell delicious and the visit went well. Do share when you're able, we're all here for you.

[Honesty76]

Miss-

Yes we are very lucky but we think of it more as Blessed! I can't believe that it was only about a month ago or so that you PM'd me about her agency and now here I am holding her!!! We have laughed about her never getting a date many times- poor girl! They are all already so protective of her.

My two oldest boys both started Kindergarten today as well. Totally dissatisfied with D's teacher- she has no regard for his special needs. I am thinking about checking to see if he can be switched tomorrow. He has had enough adjusting lately (brand new house, brand new baby, brand new school, etc) and I do not want to have to worry about how he is handling his class too. Tomorrow is another day.

Hang in there,
Leslie

[Vogi2002]

I LOVE this board!!!! I love love love it. Okay, so slightly obsessive about checking it but it is so much fun to see what is going on in everyone's life (am I "that girl" that becomes wierd and stalkerish?? LOL What can I say? It's slightly pathetic...but only slightly!!)

Okay, so how dh broke the sink (for Leigh)....

We decided that we would check out the million year old paint cans in the garage from when we moved in and see if we can match some of the paint to fix some holes with. Well, we get some of them out (seriously...rusty & nasty, 10 years old) and he decides that we need a better "mixer" to get the colors to come together (for the ones that weren't dried out). Well I tell him this plastic spoon is working fine but NOOOO . So his INGENIOUS plan is to bend a hanger and stick the hanger into his cordless drill then spin the paint Bad idea? I said so, thought so, and even insisted so but NOOOO being the manly-man-don't-take-no-for-an-answer guy he is, he starts doing it. Okay well it's OK working, gets it mixed (he is insisting it is the MOST AWESOME MIXING JOB EVER, I roll my eyes and try not to say anything ). Okay, well then he goes to the sink to wash the paint off the hanger (to start on another can because now HE HAS to do them all or they are just NOT going to work...). Okay, so I'm all trying to humor him, getting the paint out grumbling about how dang long this is going to take and I hear CRASH*BANG*OH*#@&#*.

"oops, I think I chipped the sink"

"WHAT!?!"

"Yeah...it's pretty small though"

"HOLY CRAP THIS IS A CHUNK out of our sink NOT a chip"

"No, it's a chip"

"It is three inches by two inches THAT IS A CHUNK"

"Oh...well I think I can patch it"

"IT"S A CHUNK! CHUNKS can't be patched!!!!!!!"

"Well...you wanted a stainless steel sink anyways"



Ends up the tool starting going, hanger flies off, rams into the sink, sink parts fly, the rest is history.

So, now my NEW STAINLESS STEEL sink is beautiful and I LOVE it!! Oh and you better believe I got the BEST one and he couldn't say a word about it either!!

But oh my gosh my dh is the WORST person to do projects with. I swear, no matter what it is he is constantly going "this piece of crap, oh my gosh, this thing is horrible, gosh darnit, UGH" over and over and over....he has SUCH a hot head....

Did I tell you my sink is beautiful?

Natalie

[NurseNikki]

Okay, so I totally love this thread, but can I say Natalie you never fail to make me smile, or in some cases, LMAO!!!!!! After seeing your pictures on your profile, now I can totally see the two of you in the situation you described!

I love doing projects with my DH, but I am the one who drives him nuts with the questions. Why? Why can't we do it this way? Do we have to do that now? What happens if I do this???? Yeah, he loves projects with me. I can't count how many times I have heard - "Just let me do this, okay?". He HE HEEEE!

So, we have no update, but glad to see everyone had a good holiday weekend. We have had GORGEOUS weather here the past few days. Highs in the 70's, lows in the 50's. I LOVE IT!!!!!

Hoping to stay busy this weekend - it will help me forget that I turn 29 on Friday! I know, not a big deal, but it is fun to pretend it is! I really don't care about the number. I haven't felt like I am that old, I still am shocked by the fact I am not 18 anymore. Just Kidding! Have a great week, everyone!

[KarynB]

Morning all - just a quickie as i have to get some studying done - how is everyone?

Canmom- how did the visit go?

Natalie - you are hilarious...you're dh sounds like mine - always making "adjustments" to make things work better. Well, sometimes they do - but not always!

Sandy - first day of school? Well, let's just say I already got pulled in for meeting with teacher. Didn't even have a chance to be "pro active". sigh...

Ok - gotta run for now - will check in later!

[PaperPregnant]

Hello all...

Leigh invited me in... fresh blood, so to speak !

I'm Michelle. Currently waiting to be matched, officially approved 7/26/06. Just DH, I and the cats right now... We are doing an agency private domestic newborn/infant adoption. Either semi-open or open (1 visit annually).

We are leaving everything up to the agency... our state does not allow facilitators or advertising for birth parents, and heck that's what we are paying all that money to the agency for anyhow...

We have completed the nursery because our friends who used our agency only waiting 6 months from approval to bring home their little boy. The agency average is 14 months though, so I'm not counting on 6... I also have a serious case of nesting going on... Anyone else go through this?? I think I'm driving DH crazy...

I hope to be able to catch up with everyone's stories eventually, but will have to beg patience for now!

[tyiakoum]

For some reason, between not hearing anything on the adoption front at all (we've had no responses through parentprofiles in weeks, nothing happening w/the agency, and the foster child who was expecting a girl -- haven't heard anything from the foster mom yet)

Now for some reason, to add to all my trauma and drama about this looooong wait (now 13+ months waiting), the anniversary of the deaths of my best friend Kathy (who died after a valiant fight w/ovarian cancer), and my grandpa who had a really tragic death (he fell off a cliff in his back yard after raking leaves and chucking them off the cliff, he slipped and fell) is coming and they died two days apart. I am just so sad.

School just started and I am back teaching the kids... totally surrounded by kids all the time, of all ages,,, wanting to be a mom so bad!

I can't tell you how the kids love me (and I love them). Yesterday at the youth center I walked thru the door (school started last week but I had stuff to do so could not volunteer at the center until yesterday). ... the kids were screaming, TAMMI... running up and hugging me, even the boys, the TOUGH boys! It cracked me up but threw me down when I got home to the empty, echoing house... my DH says I'm like a "rock star" to kids... anyway, they made me feel like a rock star yesterday.

And still I wait. I know, helping other people's kids is giving back so much to enrich my life and these kids' lives, AND their parents, who are so grateful and need so much support. But WHY is it taking so long! I just don't understand why...

Can you guys send me some positive energy and prayers, please. I have to make it through this... and DH is leaving for Greece next week to visit family... I can't go because we are waiting for a call for the baby and one of us has to be here... I will be missing seeing my neices and nephews and especially the new babies, so much...

Waaaah!

Thanks everyone for being here for me. If I did not have these boards, it would be much harder.

[PaperPregnant]

to Tammi!

[CanMomEh]

Originally Posted by missw005

Can Mom,
The training can be scary, but part of it is to "weed out" families who really shouldn't be parenting special needs kids and should be doing infant adoption.

The decision of SW during pre training interview - we as a couple are not ready to handle any older child. My husband has fears of "worst case scenario" and there are potential parents who are more ready than us that are linned up 3 miles to get into this training. don;t know how to move on from here.
DH now says he would be more willing to adopt infant ! WTH!!! the only reason i moved us to the older child list was because he did not like the idea of any openes in adoption. I am so frustrated. I have asked him to make a decision once and for all because i can't have him getting my hopes up every year we come up for training. where we are on the infant list we would get our home study next June. He even asked about private adoption - there are just not alot of babies available for adoption in our area - period.

Sorry all - very sore right now - just want this pain to go away