[Andrea Shea]

oooooooh busted!!! That is alright Natalie, my husband just sighs when he sees me on here while the potatoes are boiling over. I told him it is cheaper than therapy!!!

Don't kill yourself cleaning, people are coming to see you, not if you dusted the lamp shade. I am the same way though, except the lampshade thing, if they look that hard they deserve to find what they find.

Nikki - I like your sub social worker, she seems to be more interested in your happiness and knowledge than the witch you usually have...can you keep her?

Sandy - Oh I cannot tell you how much I hope you are lucky enough (not to mention the children) to bring them to your home. I am sending prayers your way. Keep us posted!!


Lovebug - I know, I know.....

Erin - I am not sure that those type of classes are so good, I always look around and feel like I am sizing the couples up and I feel paranoid, like they are doing that to us to. I know it is wrong, I can't help it. I have also found most of the couples are much older and very distinquished....money....perhaps not, it is just one night every so often, i don't know them, they don't know me..........ya know??

Leslie - thinking of you rocking Madison to sleep, I am so jealous....

Welcome Rose - Multiples, how cool is that....you must be a busy bee. I really enjoyed your post...Of course we care about you!!!!

It is so cool here tonight. I love it. I am going to clean and perhaps put a few fall decorations out tomorrow. Hubby has to work so we probably won't go dove hunting until the evening. Right now, sleeping in sounds good, I can't ever seem to do that.

Take care!!! Andrea

[Leigh131313]

Nat & Nikki!!

YES!! I'm still here! I swear our computer hasn't been on in two days, which is VERY weird for us. I was out all day yesterday scrapbooking with my girlfriend, and then my other girlfriend came over for coffee in the evening....umm...didn't leave til 1am!! lol We're pretty chatty when we get together without kids!

Then today I was out and about with dh and M....and then M decided NOT to nap (blah!! that's my puter time!!) so this is my first chance to sit down and catch up!!


Welcome MADISON!! and a huge congratulations to the whole family!! She's beautiful!

And SANDY!! OMG!!! That is HUGE!! THIS IS IT!! I just KNOW it!!

Nat, I'm going to check your profile out once I do my little errands on here, I'm sure it's fab!

Nikki....you SOUND all together, bet between you and me...admit it...you ARE going crazy? right?? How can you NOT be?

Welcome to our lurkers and new posters!!

I can't remember who else to reply to, so my apologies!!

[KarynB]

Wow, you guys, so much going on here!!!

Miss - yayayayayaya !!!! That is so amazing!!! Ok, so how does it work now? the committee in October decideds which of the two of you it will be? Holy stress Batman! Hehe - you are like me, thinking wow, I might have a baby, what do I need to BUY? !!!! I love it. I am almost out of stuff to buy except clothes which i am holding out on cause I'm not the biggest fan of "neutrals" except in very young babies and ours most likely won't be that tiny....so now I'm onto stripping and redoing furniture. Ah well, at least it's productive. I can't wait to hear more about this...Oh, also, I hope I didn't offend you other night talking about tantrums and I said my son wasn't ADHD - I realized after you hadn't even said your son was so I hope I didn't offend!

Erin - yes, I've also heard those groups can be a bit of a downer - one person on these boards even described them as having a "funeral like athmosphere"...we went to a group for people who had adopted and were waiting to adopt from SA (we are in both categories) and I was down on the whole thing (waiting, when will it be us...)for a few weeks - just seeing how many people there were waiting, and how much longer some had waited then us (even though SA doesn't work that way)...it took almost a month and a few emails to our agency that got me back in "patient waiting mode", not sure i could do it once a month.

Leigh - good to see you back! I also had a girls night and stayed up late the other night - it was with a friend who lives across the country (Calgary, actually, you are close to there, i think?) and we have "Caeser nights" every so often to catch up....I have to say, that is the nice thing about not being pregnant - i love a cold beer on a hot summer afternoon!!! Although those days are almost gone - it's getting colder here already. We are going to take our kiddos on a fall backpacking trip in the Adirondacks in a few weeks - brr....

Nikki - way to go just hanging in there. Keep yourself and your brain busy, it's the only way!!!!!

Andrea - ok, I need to ask, what the heck is dove hunting? Like you hunt doves (the birds?) Or you use doves to find something more edible? Fill me in girl, I have NO idea what you mean (yeah, city girl, I know, it's pathetic!)

Rose - are you still around? I'd love to hear more about your experiences breastfeeding!!! Multiples, too, wow. So, do you and your sister have a close relationship now? Wow, yours is really an amazing story! Here is another dumb question - are the triplets identical? Or are two identical and one not? Can you even have identical triplets? hmm...so many questions....

Runyan - hope your shin-dig, do-dad goes well. Stop cleaning though and relax!!!! We also are having a "shindig" - but with eight or nine 13-year-old girls, yup, it's dd's birthday party!!!! Her b-day was actually about 3 weeks ago and I held her off this long, but now it's time to face the music. They are having a bar-b-que and camping out in our front yard. No sleep for any of us that night!!!!

As for us, not much new here. My contract at work got renewed for four more months (yay!!!) which is a huge relief as we still need to save some money for the adoption....so now this fall I have to work 4 days a week and also have two classes to finish for my degree...whew, it will be busy busy busy!!!!!

Ok - gotta run, enjoy your last long weekend of the summer, and hi to anyone i forgot in my post!!!!!

[missw005]

Originally Posted by KarynB

Miss - That is so amazing!!! Ok, so how does it work now? the committee in October decideds which of the two of you it will be? Holy stress Batman! Hehe - you are like me, thinking wow, I might have a baby, what do I need to BUY? !!!! I love it. I am almost out of stuff to buy except clothes which i am holding out on cause I'm not the biggest fan of "neutrals" except in very young babies and ours most likely won't be that tiny....so now I'm onto stripping and redoing furniture. Ah well, at least it's productive. I can't wait to hear more about this...Oh, also, I hope I didn't offend you other night talking about tantrums and I said my son wasn't ADHD - I realized after you hadn't even said your son was so I hope I didn't offend!

Hey Karyn!!! Yes, my son is ADD/ADHD, and heck no, I'm not offended. I'm just glad to have someone else who's been through the meltdowns and can sympathize!!

As for waiting until October until the committee makes it's decision - I believe the phrase was "Holy stress, Batman!" You have no idea. I can't imagine being THIS close and having to wait another MONTH or longer to find out their decision.
I may go crazy.

Oops, too bad, already there.

When I went to committee for Q, I made a photo album and a video for the committee to look at. Pictures of our family and friends, and a video of our house and the town we live in. I heard the video was quite entertaining, my mom drove around town while I videotaped out the window (it was wintertime and very cold). Well being the Video Idiot that I am, I didn't know the sound was on while we were driving around. Now my mother is 70 years old, and not the most careful driver. She kept doing the "slow-n-go" through stop signs, or just blowing through them altogether. I was ragging on her for it, and Yah, apparently it was ALL ON TAPE.
Q's worker told me they were rolling on the floor listening to us bickering about her crappy driving skills - me telling her to be more careful and her telling me to stop being a side seat driver and stop telling a 70 yr old woman how to drive! For crying out loud.

So I'll definitely be more careful this time. Geez.

Anyhoo, each family is represented by someone, who shows them your pictures, video, talks about the family, their experience, stuff in their homestudy, etc. Then the committee picks the best family for the child. So it's all how well you come off to the committee.
Yah.............no pressure there at all.

As for buying stuff...................I did pick up a few things at a garage sale today. Just can't help it!!!

I packed up all of the baby boy stuff I had in the house, put it in a Rubbermaid bin and put it in the garage with the other bins of the boys' outgrown clothes. I know, I know, I should probably get rid of all of it if I'm going to have girls, but I'm just not quite there yet.
Besides, there are jeans and some shirts I'm sure that girls could wear in there. Boys' denim jean bibs can become girls' bibs with a nice pink or purple shirt, right???

I almost bought a bouncy seat today at the garage sale and decided I'd better not get ahead of myself. (AGAIN!!!) I'm still with just 1 paper grocery bag of girls' clothes.
And I do have the crib still up (never took it down, I still use it sometimes when friends with babies come over or for foster children), a playpen in the garage....... I don't have a highchair, baby swing or bouncy seat, though..........never needed one!
Of course I'll keep my eye out at the garage sales over the next few weeks.................
STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
Listen here, self, you jinxed it when you bought baby boy clothes and now you have a bin full of them!!!

But you know, Karyn, I just LOVE to shop. (sound like anyone you know????)

And SANDY!! OMG!!! That is HUGE!! THIS IS IT!! I just KNOW it!!

Thanks, Leigh. That thought is constantly running through my mind as well. It's hard not driving myself crazy with it, though!
Guess now I know why I haven't gotten called for any long-term (ie, pregnancy leave) subbing jobs this year!!!

Oh I cannot tell you how much I hope you are lucky enough (not to mention the children) to bring them to your home. I am sending prayers your way. Keep us posted!!

Andrea - I appreciate the prayers. I'll take all the help I can get!! It's going to be awful waiting until October for a decision!!!!!!!! I'll try not to drive you all crazy with my impatience!

YEAH MISS!!!! Okay deep breaths....you sound shockingly calm right now!! Did you celebrate with a drink? LOL totally kidding of course!!

Natalie - If I sound shockingly calm, I must be faking it as well as I'd hoped.
Seriously, though, I've been disappointed enough by being the #2 or #3 family choice that I try hard to rein my emotions in and not get overly excited about it. It just makes it so much harder when I don't get picked. So I try not to think/get excited/obsess about it too much - at least not publicly!

Honestly, you girls on the forums are amongst the few people I can talk to about it. We've all said before, non-adoption people just don't understand. So I don't say too much to them about anything. My 3 closest girlfriends know about me being one of the 2 families, but I don't talk too much about it beyond that. They just don't understand and it just gets too hard - for both of us. I think they've also been through the rollercoaster of being ecstatic from me going to committee to being depressed from not being chosen too many times, and it's just not something they can really relate to.

Oh Sandy, how exciting! Fingers, toes, and everything else is crossed for you!

Nikki, thanks! I'm glad that we'll be going through this waiting period together. Then we can both try not to think about it constantly and not let it drive us crazy!!!

OMG Sandy!!!!! What exciting awesome news!!!!!! I will be praying for you!

Renee, thanks! I need all the help I can get!!!!! Appreciate it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did get to talk to the girls' foster mother last night. She's an older lady, who has been a foster parent for over 30 years. She and her dh are a baby home only, but have been able to keep the 2 yr old so she wouldn't have to be moved and bond with another family until she was adopted. She sounds wonderful. I'm glad the 2 yr old has been able to stay with them all this time, it will help her bond easier with whichever family she's chosen to join.
My boys didn't have that luxury. Q had some nice foster homes, but was moved a lot in his short life in foster care. J was in one home, but it was a bad one (they lost their license after I brought him home), and it's the source of many problems he still has today.
I'm glad the girls will have that, whether they come home to me or not.


Now if I can just stop thinking/worrying/obsessing about everything else! Money to pay for the trip, how it's going to work with all of us going (the boys will be going, too), how I'm going to set up everyone's rooms (the boys' rooms are small, no closets, where am I going to put their clothes????????), how we'll need a bigger house, money to pay for it, whether my daycare mom will have spaces to take the girls, whether I should tell her or not, no, can't jinx it, can't tell anyone but my 3 closest friends..............speaking of which, one of the first questions they ALL asked was "what are you going to tell your mother?"
THAT is a whole other problem altogether.
She does NOT want me to adopt any more kids. She wants me to wait until J "gets better." She doesn't seem to - or want to - understand that J has special needs and likely always will. That he won't - can't - "get better." That as he gets older, he'll hopefully learn to manage his disabilities and issues better, but that there's no "cure."
That and "who is going to marry you now when you already have 2 boys?" This coming from a woman who's been divorced twice. I know it's probably her just wanting to make sure we'll be taken care of, but come on, I've done it all these years and am doing a pretty good job, dangit. No, we're not well off, I have lots of debt, a job I love but pays badly with no benefits, the only one to keep me warm in bed at night is my cat Nellie .......................but she's just going to have to GET OVER IT.
(maniacal laughter, Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha ha aha.................) My mother.......you have NO idea.

So beyond NOT worrying about all of that over the next month or so, I'm totally fine!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where did you say that drink was, Natalie??????

Sandy

[Leigh131313]

Sandy!!

I do have a little, umm...well..I hate to say advice, but really that's what it is.

I'd hold off buying the bouncy chair and the swing, for a couple reasons. First of all, some babies NEVER like the swing (M was one of them) so I'd wait to find out if she's a "swing" baby. I've never heard of a baby who didn't like their bouncy chair, but depending on her age by the time she arrives, you may have missed the bouncy chair window. I found the bouncy chair most helpful early on....If she's going to be 3 or 4 months old when she comes home, it may be a waste.

Just a thought


Nat, I checked out the profile You did a nice job! I had to check out that grey eyebrow!! Tell him no one would think twice about that!! If someone did notice, they may even think it was just a mark on the picture.

Guys are so funny!!


Karyn, yes I do live near Calgary! My brother and his wife live right in the city and Dh's parents live just outside (Black Diamond). We're up there alot...I love Calgary.

[Andrea Shea]

Hello!! Sandy, you are so funny, I know how exhausting all of the prep work must be but you have such a good attititude, I am anxious with you!!! As far as mothers go, I have to say that they had their time as moms and didn't have to go through what we do, and some women want to be moms to more children than others, ect..this is your decision. Do what makes you happy, you know what you can or cannot handle. I have found that telling my mom everything is not a good idea, she doesn't offer support, she offers opinions....you know that old saying, "opinions are like a--holes, everybody's got one" we in the adoption world don't need opnions to know what to do......we know. Just know we are here to support you, sometimes friends and family just can't seem to see the bigger picture.

Dove hunting is the hunting of the mourning dove. We eat everything we harvest. They are actually quit tasty, not my favorite but hubby loves them. We went this afternoon, it was a lovely day. We both shot our limit and had a good time. My husband was a little upset with me.....I had to go potty and there aren't any ladies rooms if you catch my drift, I am the only woman there among about a dozen men. Needless to say we left alittle earlier than he would have liked but I am not going #2 in a field with my husbands hunting buddies right there. Sorry, outdoorsy yes, but ever gal has her limits.

OOOOh, that was to much information, sorry.

[rose32542]

Yes I'm still here! holding my breath and crossing my fingers for those of you waiting to be matched! I've never heard about the committee thing; that has to be nerve wracking.

The triplets are amazing. Two are identicaland one fraternal. We thought they would all be fraternal because there were three placentas, but one egg must have split right before implantation, rather than right after. This means that not only did there just happen to be two eggs released at the same time, but also one of those eggs just happened to split. Spontaneous triplets happen in one out of 7,000 triplets. My sister thought it was a freak of nature; I'm convinced it's a miracle!

I can usually tell the two identical guys apart now, though it took a couple of months. Hubby still can't, so we do what we've done since we brought them home-- keep their toes painted different colors!

I won't lie; the first two months of their lives was absolutely miserable. I seriously was on the edge every day, and sometimes didn't know how I'd make it. I would not repeat it for anything. But I know, and have always known, that these children were meant to be mine.

As for my relationship with my sister-- well, I sort of had a meltdown on page 18 of the "email to dateline" thread, so I won't go into it all again here. We are too close in some ways, and too distant in others. It is complicated and sad, but it's been that way for years.

[Andrea Shea]

Hello all! I am exhausted so this will be short. Cleaned all day today.......how exciting.

Natalie - how was your get together? I hope you had good weather, it was rainy here today, blah, ya know?
I was hoping for one of those cool, crisp September mornings...oh well, maybe tomorrow.

I hope everyone is well, and enjoying the weekend. No work on a Monday is never bad!!

How is Madison doing? Just thinking of you all.

Rose - you are right it is a miracle, not a freak of nature. You are truly blessed. The toenail thing is hilarious.

Goodnight all.

Andrea

[CanMomEh]

Back from Camping it was fun. brought 12 yr old niece with me - mini training for kids of my own because i did not have a moment alone to do the things i wanted to (mostly read and journal) but lots of fun.
MY MOM DRIVES ME NUTS!!! I SHOULD NEVER BE ALONE WITH HER FOR THAT LONG - I DID NOT RELAX.
Bough DH a book about "Fishing with my Dad", its a cute story book for children. Showed it too him (far too expensive but i fell in love with it) and he likes it ! he really really likes it. He thanked me more than once.

can't believe all the posts in 4 or 5 days . I scanned them (when i get bored again at work i am sure i will read every word).

We are definatly going Older child (0-8) and hoping for Sibling group no more than 3.

DH is coming around - slowly - he actually read the entire pkg that CAS agency sent us - but it seems that with every piece of info he gets his reaction is "no we aren't going to do this" until he fully absorbs this. but his commitment to do the training remains. 9 weeks from hell here we come!

will fill you all in later - have to go i am far too tired.

[Vogi2002]

I just have time to pop in and say a quick hello! Our party went great on Saturday, we had to buy a new sink (which we wanted anyway, but dh broke our current one so we were forced to) yesterday and spent all day putting the sucker in (stupid stupid thing). Anyways...busy busy! I was SO glad we had a 3 day weekend and am even happier that it's already Tuesday!! I have noticed that the waiting is getting slightly easier but I think it's because I'm starting to realize that I might be waiting for a while and my hopes aren't up. My girlfriend and I are going to start planning our 2nd Annual Halloween party (LOL, we are starting a tradition...did one last year and had so much fun!!) so hopefully that will keep me busy!

How is everyone and how did your long weekend go?

Natalie

[CanMomEh]

Okay - yesterday DH and I did major clean up of house. (it was very cluttered from the busy summer months and needed a good dusting anyways) First in home interview and inspection tonight!!!!1
But there are a few things i need to pick up.
-Smoke detector for Basement - new by law in our area - one for every level.

But i am wondering if i should pick up one of those small house fire extinguishers - i have never had one nor have i ever felt that i could create a big enough kithcen fire that baking soda would not be able to handle it. The news reported a few years ago that if it was too big for baking soda - just call 911.

I don't want to seem too neurotic - although i did re organize my linnen closet ( i do that once in a while for my self anyways but now i am worried it looks too good)
Hoping i am not alone in feeling totally neurotic.

[StorkWatcher]

CanMom - Just a comment - We were required to have a fire extinguisher on each floor of house w/ an extra in the kitchen (but I think we just have one in kitchen, one on first floor, one on second floor - don't think there's technically one down in basement, as we keep the first floor one there in the stairwell going down to it) when we were going through the foster to adopt classes......