[randloar]

Thanks for the welcomes all!! Even thought the domestic/intl processes have many differences, I feel like the end goal is the same, so it helps to check out many of the boards!! Thanks for including us!

I feel a sort of connection to the domestic process since I (and my three siblings) were all adopted domestically. So, there is the part of me that wants to hear and learn how the process works now to know what it is all about! This is a great thread, its nice to learn about so many different situations and cases of how people are adopting!! Thanks for sharing!!

[Brittmomto3]

On my adoption Journey ... When I was "expecting" I read a book (Til there was you) ...the books author wrote ...

Think of your self as "expecting" you just do not have a due date.

THEN SHE ADDED ...

during this "pregnancy" you will have a "W-A-I-T" PROBLEM... not a "WEIGHT" problem ....

all I can say is

I agree!

blessing to you all on your journey :0)

[NurseNikki]

Brittmomto3 I love it!!! What a perspective. I have seen other posters refer to the expectant parent thing in other ways, but I think this is my favorite!

I definitely have a W-A-I-T problem. I hate to do it anyway, so the fact that I am forced into it (albeit for a good reason this time) really stinks!

How many of those of us out there waiting have already picked out names? Do you have ones that you like, but haven't decided? DH and I have a boys name picked out, but can't agree on a girls' name. For a boy it would be Andrew (Drew), and right now for a girl we are thinking Abigayle (Abby). Anyone else care to share? Of course, we have changed our minds 1,000 times already, so who knows what will happen when the times actually comes!

[Leigh131313]

Welcome Squirly and Britt!

Nikki, I don't think we really have names picked out....we have the girl name we had picked out for when ds was born (we didnt know the sex, so we had names for both) but who knows how we'll feel when we are faced with naming again. Maybe I'll have a new girl name I love...no boy name yet...We do have middle names tho, after my dad if it's a boy, after my grandma if it's a girl. Ds has my husbands name as his middle (not to mention his last name) so his family doesnt get the middle name next time..LOL

[Lovebug]

We keep tossing names around, too. Our son has DS's first name as his middle name, too (and last name too, like Leigh). We had a girl's name picked out from before, too. It is the name of our grandmothers who are passed. But we don't "love" it anymore. Boys names are giving us a big problem as we can't seem to agree on anything. I think the closer we get, the easier it might be. Also the pbmom's input will help. A's bmom L asked us if we were thinking of names and when we told her she loved it and named him that. So we'll see.

Have a great day all!

--Renee

[4baby02]

We have names but since our disruption have changed our mind as we believe birthmom named son by name we had liked. But, we feel for each baby there is a certain name. That name was Jayden (boy), we don't feel like that name is usable again as the next baby's situation will be different.

We have tossed around Isaiah, Jared, Jacob, Diana, Kyrah and Jaiden for a girl. Who knows, we are wanting the name to have meaning and significance so it will be based on the moms story and the name that just fits. We also aren't wanting a "common" name so Jacob and Jaiden are near the end of the list.

[Leigh131313]

4baby..

Ya know..it's funny you should mention it. One of the things that really scares me about adoption, is naming a child, and then the adoption being stopped. Like, say I name my child after my grandmother and then it falls through....that would be very hard to deal with.

[4baby02]

I agree! We were hesitant in the last match to share our choice; however when the mom shared and it was the same we opened up. If we choose a family tie we will definately keep it hush until rights are terminated!

That time was scary but knowing we had picked Jayden as the name based on moms story and meaning, we were able to let go rather easy.

[NurseNikki]

4baby,

I agree with including the pbmom's input. We have names we like, some based on family tradition, some not, but we wouldn't necessarily jump to it, because we want to include bmom's ideas possibly.

Other names we like, but have not decided on are: Anna, Ava, Katie, or Margaret for a first name, I really like Elizabeth for a middle name for any of them, and Blake, Jacob, or Reagan for a boy, with my DH's first name as the middle name. Who knows! But it is fun to think about during the wait. As I said before, we have been thinking of names for a long time, and have changed our minds at least 50 times.

When I used to work 3 days a week, I would accompany DH on business trips, and this was a game we played while driving to pass the time. Of course, at the time, we had no idea what the future held for us. We had quite a list of names going, can't even remember them all now, but the favorite ones stuck with us.

[icunurse]

Joining in late (as usual!)...

We've been waiting for our second child for almost a year now. We've had quite a bumpy ride so far (two failed matches), so I'm ready for all of this to end and to be able to love another little one. Waiting really stinks!

As for names, DH and I really like two particular names (one boy, one girl), so when we have been matched, we have said the names, but never really thought of the child with that name - does that make any sense? For our first failed match, we held him, but we never referred to him by that name. We have no idea if the mother kept the name and we live with an "ignorance is bliss" attitude - if we knew she kept it, we probably wouldn't be able to use it again.

[Lovebug]

Evening Gals!

The name game is alot of fun. We have certainly had battles over it, especially because A's name came so easy to us and then his bmom loved it.

Icunurse - Welcome!!!! Hope your wait ends soon!!! Our sons are close in age as is Leighs, too!!! 2 year olds are fun, huh??? (imagine some eye rolling here! Lol)

--Renee

[Leigh131313]

OH yes, two year olds are definitely fun...especially in the toilet training trenches..

Welcome ICUnurse!

On naming...ya know, that is the one area where I'm really not up for compromise...well, perhaps not the ONLY, but pretty close. I want to name my child. I do not want to chose it with anyone other than dh. Of course a birthmom has every right to name her child, and ever right to ask that it be kept.....they just wouldnt be a good match with us. We named ds after his birthfamily, they were very touched......but it was our idea, and our choice. That's very important to me as a mother.

[proudmum]

hi we adopted a beautiful baby girl 13 months ago and she is the most wonderful little girl,,, we waited 18 months as things are a bit different over her in New Zealand, we also bought little bits and pieces ,,,all the time people telling us it was bad luck, we feel it was great forward planning as you dont get those 9 mnths to plan,,,, we are wanting to put our profile in to the waiting pool again but are unsure about when to do this ,,, it could take 18 months again or it could take 2 weeks ( as this happened to one couple that our social worker told us about) my daughter is very spirited and has absolutely no fear,,, the faster, the higher the better and i know that its too soon to have a new baby at home as i am so busy keeping dd safe.... but we dont want to hold off for her sake what do you do?

[Canadamom92]

Hi all,

We're also waiting to be matched. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. We're actively working on being matched - to the point where we make nuisances of ourselves . Originally we were trying to be matched with a sibling group through child protective services. We just completed an interview (early last week) with the social worker for an 8 year old boy that we absolutely think would be a great match for our family. Now we wait to see if we get chosen, out of the five couples they're interviewing . The worker said they would let all of the prospective parents' workers know within two to three weeks.

Dawn H. (trying to be patient, but it's really tough!)

[icunurse]

Leigh, I can understand what you mean about names. For DH and I, if a pbmom wants us to keep the name she has given her child, it is pretty much a "dealbreaker". There are times that we have not entered into being considered for a baby because the bparents were adament about keeping the name. Of course, there have been a time or two where we really liked the name and went ahead with it. We are honest abut our stance on this and feel that there are people out there who would be a better match for a bparent in this situation. We chose DS's name (a name we liked - bmom did, too), bmom gave him a middle name special to her, and then we gave him a second middle name from our family. We hope to do the same for our next child.