California

mommamarci · #16 05-30-2006, 11:25 AM

Solarscarlet- I was just the opposite. I have everything except a sling. I did not want to buy anything once we were matched because I am terrified we will have a failed match and then I will feel like I bought all that stuff for that baby instead of for my baby. We have the room painted, all furniture bought, and all other basic neccessities: a few bottles, diaper bag, diapers, etc. I have a few items listed on E-Bay right now and after I sell those, I am going to try and get my sling from there. I am hoping to sell enough that I will break even!

This waiting stuff is tough. I just realized at lunch that dh and I forgot MIL's birthday! We are a little preoccupied. It was over the weekend. So, he is calling to do damage control and I have to rush out and buy a gift!

StorkWatcher · #17 05-30-2006, 11:58 AM

Congrats to all you expectant parents!!!

Nikki - I think it's a GREAT idea to start on a scrapbook now. While I was waiting, I did MANY pages for our baby's book. I just did the backgrounds, certain milestone pages and left color coordinated mats for 4x6 photos in the sleeves, unattached, so once we took photos I could add them (horizontally OR vertically) quickly. I am so glad that I did now, because I've hardly scrapped since I started back to work!

If you haven't seen it yet, there's a thread on these forums for scrapbooks and lifebooks - check it out.

Leigh131313 · #18 05-30-2006, 12:07 PM

Welcome Solarscarlet and Lovebug!!

Ok, I have a confession to make....I'm not worried about the wait

I'm actually fine with the idea of it taking a while....Lovebut, I also have a two year old (April baby) and it's because of him I'm fine with it being slow. The longer it takes, the older he'll be...which should be good for having to share his mommy.

Also...and this one is odd.....our next child will most likely be our last...so, after the next baby, I wont have any more babies to look forward to....so the longer this one takes, the longer I have babies to look forward to...

Ok, I know i'm weird.

Vogi2002 · #19 05-30-2006, 12:38 PM

Hello!! We are currently in "homestudy" mode too...been there for about four months!! Our agency has lots of steps to take (seminar, visits, reading, etc) so it takes a little longer sometimes. Anyways, we just have a seminar to attend June 8 and 9 then a homevisit then we're OFFICIALLY waiting. Our agencie's "average" wait is 18 months. Now, they say that is on the higher end and we are okay with a full hispanic baby so they said that we might have a quick placement.

I'm actually okay most days with waiting because we will be able to save up more money and have to borrow less. Right now we are about 8,000 short, but we have a couple of members of our family that will pay if needed, and we will pay them back.

We are doing a fully open adoption so are pretty excited about that...but a little scared that we will mess something up with it....does that sound crazy??

Oh, we have our nursery about 1/2 done, we have it painted, bedding bought, and crib (but we have to get it from his parents') done. I am like others taking it really slow but still going out and buying.

Nice to meet all of you!!

Natalie

Leigh131313 · #20 05-30-2006, 12:41 PM

Welcome Natalie!

I totally know what you mean about not wanting to mess things up...I still worry about saying the wrong things around my sons birthfamily, you just don't want to dissapoint, ya know?

Lovebug · #21 05-30-2006, 02:19 PM

Afternoon All,

Leigh, our son is a January baby. I kwym about the longer you wait, the older he will be. I agree with that too. have you attempted potty training yet?? My boy refuses to go on the toilet! Ugh. I would love for him to be potty trained when babe comes, but some days I think that is like me dreaming.

This will also be our second and final adoption. We just can't financially swing a third adoption. We are borrowing a good chunk from my folks this time around.

--Renee

ShandyNBeau · #22 05-30-2006, 04:47 PM

Hello hello... We are waiting too!

We first hooked up with the agency last October, and started our homestudy in February. That was complete in April and we were immediately presented with 3 cases, none of which worked out for us.

It's been hard the last few weeks, not hearing anything and just waiting. I get tired of people asking me "have you head anything" well clearly if I had you'd know about it!!! I know they mean well, but after all the years of infertility and now this I think some people are skeptical that our adoption plans will actually work out!

We are pursuing domestic infant adoption and are open to any race. We were told a placement would be immediate up to about 5 months (after completion of homestudy.) One month down I guess, so hopefully we are getting close...

NurseNikki · #23 05-30-2006, 04:51 PM

Well, we had our visit with the new case worker, and it seemed to go over very well. So, as of tomorrow morning, we will be able to have our profile shown, should it match with a pbmom's requests.

With this being our first, we are of course not sure how fast it might or might not go, so not knowing is driving me crazy!!!

I did go out and by the baby carrier snugli that I wanted. DH didn't think I should . . . "there won't be anything left to have a shower for", but I did anyway! Told him it was my therapy! But I have promised myself no more clothes buying. Only supplies, and not too many.

Thanks, Storkwatcher for the tip about the scrapbook thread. I haven't done many, but that is how I did our photo profiles, and was very proud of the end product. I will make sure to check that one out!

Leigh131313 · #24 05-30-2006, 05:20 PM

Welcome Shandy!! I hated the questions too...this time I'm not really telling people when we are active...i'm putting people off with the, "Oh, it takes time to get all the paper work done" comments.....I'll buy myself at least 6 months with that.

Lovebug, funny you should ask, I did try potty training on Tuesday...however, DH decided to take some time off of his night job, so i decided to wait until he goes back to work....when things are more routine, ya know? M did pretty good...except when his little friend came over, he didnt want to leave the fun.

Nikki- oh I hear ya, if only we knew when our kiddo's would come home....so much more planning could be done!!

Congrats on the purchase!! And I agree, it IS therapy!

ocracoke · #25 05-30-2006, 06:07 PM

I am officially waiting --- since April 13th. I am doing international adoption --- Ethiopia. The prediction was 4-6 weeks before referral. I am in week 7 which means "THE CALL" could come any day now!!

Samantha

coy_regina · #26 05-31-2006, 09:08 AM

Our homestudy is done and is sitting on a DHS workers' desk waiting for approval. We are looking for a large sibling group from foster care. We are not doing foster-to-adopt. I'm afraid that it would be too disruptive to our bio kids to have children enter our family without knowing if they were there for good.

Sometime soon our study should go to staffing.

Anxiously waiting...

Leigh131313 · #27 05-31-2006, 01:28 PM

Welcome Coy!!

WOW!!! How many kiddo's are you hoping for? What a change that will be!!

shy_bear · #28 05-31-2006, 02:05 PM

Hey Coy, we also are going adoption through the state. What age range are you looking for? We are willing to go older then our kids and we get a lot of slack about that. We obviously are doing our homework and asking questions and not jumping into anything. Not that is matters we are at the one month mark and don't see an end in sight. I get bummed b/c you hear of so many older kids needing a home and the county we are going though has nothing that meets our criteria. We also are open to 0-4 sib or single child, but so is everyone else. So we wait!!!!

hules98 · #29 05-31-2006, 08:24 PM

Hi-- I'm brand new to this forum and I'm so glad I found it!

DH & I have been "in circulation" for only about a week, and like another poster, thought we had been for more than a month because the agency didn't mention it would be held up until we paid. Unlike her, I WAS furious!

I wanted to find out your thoughts on using birth control while trying to adopt. I'm undecided about this, because I want a baby so badly & I'm afraid of the adoption never happening for whatever reason and then realize I had prevented any (albeit slim) chance I might have had to conceive. On the other hand, I'm so tired of the monthly disappointments and would like to move ahead with a medication that you can't take during pregnancy. Naturally there are may other facets to our situation but just wondering if anyone had some words of wisdom for me.

Thanks,
Hules

VictoriaW · #30 05-31-2006, 08:43 PM

Hi,
Thank you so much much for starting this. I've been searching for a support group and can't find one in my area (San Francisco). Just knowing that I'm not alone feeling so anxious really helps. We finished our home study in April and have been waiting for about a month. It's killing me. I keep trying to pre-occupy myself, but nothing seems to work. It doesn't help that three couples that we see the most have just either given birth recently or are pregnant.

Does anyone know of adoption support groups (formal o informal) in San Francisco?

-Victoria

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