[Leigh131313]

Welcome Laurie!!

Nice to see you made it to "our" thread!!

I'm the proud mom to a 2 year old........proud=exhausted... lol

We are just getting all of our ducks in a row so we can join the ranks of the waiters! All we have left is our homestudy update, and then turn in the letter and pictures.

There is a LOT of us on this thread, so you can pass some of that waiting time right here catching up with us! lol

again, welcome!

[proudmum]

hi again,,,havent been back for a while( kinda lost my way to this thread ha ha) am new at this....

DH and i have decided to put profile in again about oct-nov ,,, so will have time to complete it and DD will be that bit older too,,,, she runs us ragged at times ,,, she is such an adventurer and its a fulltime job keeping her safe,,,, we have now nicknamed her "Danger Mouse" she has a rocking horse and thinks its sooooo funny when she tips it on its nose and we have to run to stop her tipping over onto her head,,,, shes only 13 mnths..

Spoke to our sw the other day and apparently this time around we dont have to do as much as they already have our full details,,, we just have to update.... whew wasnt looking forward to all that paperwork again..... i have just been reading all these posts and i cant believe how expensive it is to adopt for you guys over there,,, ,, here in New Zealand we dont have to pay anything,,, just our lawyer and bmother lawyer fees and thats it,,,, we dont have agencies,,, its run through the government.... and all adoptions are newborns...very rare to get older child at all,,,,, mind you there arent that many adoptions per year.......

Know what you mean about the whole insensitive friends thing friend is 3 mnths pregnant and told us the other day,, very happy for her ,,,, but couldve slapped her when she said " yeh, it took two months to get pregnant,, was getting really worried that it took so long" argh helloooooooo,,,, this comment made even though she knew we went through fertility treatment for 5 years before we adopted ,,,, i mean honestly...

anyway now i know how to get here i will be back,,,, are starting profile soon,,, argh hardest part for us....
best wishes to you all
proudmum

[Leigh131313]

Proudmum

It's alot of work, isn't it? I also find it emotionally difficult. I put way too much pressure on myself. I can be a bit of perfectionist at times, and the profile is SO important, I almost paralyze myself with worry, ya know?

[OnTheJourney]

Originally Posted by proudmum

Know what you mean about the whole insensitive friends thing friend is 3 mnths pregnant and told us the other day,, very happy for her ,,,, but couldve slapped her when she said " yeh, it took two months to get pregnant,, was getting really worried that it took so long" argh helloooooooo,,,, this comment made even though she knew we went through fertility treatment for 5 years before we adopted ,,,, i mean honestly...
proudmum

I really hear you on this one. Almost all of our friends started trying at the same time as us to start their families. They are now all either on there 2nd or 3rd babies, or done after two and have had vasectomies (that one kills DH). Everyone of them that had to try for more than two months for one started getting all paniced and worried. I just look at them like 'remember, I'm RIGHT HERE!'. So I've recently started responding "Yeah those couple months can sometimes seem like YEARS, eh?" That seems to remind them to count their blessing! I don't know if that's the right thing to say, but sometimes we just gotta be a little catty!

Keep Smillin'

-M

[NurseNikki]

Haven't posted in a few days, missed everyone. Hello and welcome to those new to this post!

OntheJourney, I love your reply, I will have to remember that. My SIL will be like that, I know. What's worse, is they will keep it secret from us, unless we already have our match. They think that because we can't have our own, we aren't happy that they are having theirs. The last time, we were the very last to know, and we found out by accident! Then they lied about why they didn't tell us. Not fun.

This is our first, so this waiting thing seems to take forever. I have no patience for it! It doesn't help that we have only been "officially" waiting for three weeks! The other night, one of DH cousins called, only identifying herself by her first name, and it freaked me out. It took me a few seconds to put two and two together to realize who I was talking to, and in that few seconds, my heart was POUNDING. Once I realized who it was, I relaxed and thought Whoa! what an over reaction! I really need to learn patience, or I will go crazy!

Laurie, we are about the same age, and so are our DH's! Welcome!

[proudmum]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

Proudmum

It's alot of work, isn't it? I also find it emotionally difficult. I put way too much pressure on myself. I can be a bit of perfectionist at times, and the profile is SO important, I almost paralyze myself with worry, ya know?

This is exactly what we do......... it has to be perfect so it takes so long as we re-do it over and over......my husband is the real perfectionist when doing the profile,,, we completely over-analyse everything that we have said..."does that sound fake" "do we really feel that way"
hopefully we will be more relaxed about ot this time around...




And i remember waiting for the phonecall well,,,, argh you nearly jumped out of your skin when the phone rang,,,,
We actually got our phonecall 2 days after selling our house and we were on the move to another city for my husbands new job,,, so a very very busy time .....

proudmum

[Vogi2002]

Hello!!! Okay so we went to the seminar, very informative!! Now we have to start on our profile and i am FLIPPING out about it. How do you talk about you but add personality?? OMG and all on ONE page!?! Plus a page of pictures....that are labeled...omg, i have a girlfriend staying the night tomorrow (we work together so it's just easier), she's a scrapbooker so hopefully we can get it done....the agency said they are brutally honest about it and have a bunch of people looking at it for opinions so I am hoping they give some feedback!!

Let's see....what else....once we get the profile, relationship profile all done we can schedule our home visit!! Yeah!

We also might be selling our boat this week so I'm crazy busy with all that, Oh we picked up the CUTEST baby bed EVER on Sunday (it's Oak, my husband's stepmother's father made it for her for her first child and she isn't using it now so we get to use it!!). It's got drawers on the bottom and side and it's just beautiful...it looks GREAT in the room too...

Okay, well I will try to catch up (wasn't getting emails for some reason...maybe after so many days they stop? Wierd...)

Natalie

[Vogi2002]

Oh, I forgot to tell you that the seminar was scary for dh (they talked about all the "bad" stuff that could happen...which I loved because they prepared you, but I wasn't surprised as I have been the one doing the research and telling dh but obviously he wasn't listening LOL). They are much more open than we first thought we wanted to be. But now I'm kinda into it. I really see the advantages and how it can really be a joy. We put down that we would do between 6 - 8 visits if the bmom is in town and 4 - 6 (maybe as low as 3 depending on distance/cost) if they are out of town (they are all in state). Plus letters and pictures whenever they want and we are okay with birthgrandparents involvement (hey more love for the baby!!)....

We at first were thinking 3 visits a year, one if out of town, emails every month or so...but we are pretty excited about it now, they did a GREAT job at explaining how much love you have for the birthfamily and how visits don't usually have that "awkward" tone for very many, then it starts to be enjoyable....

They do an AWESOME job with the birthmothers. They place about 20 babies a year, and never have more than 20 adoptive parents waiting at one time, so they are really able to focus on counseling for all involved!! It's just a fabulous agency...definetely one of the best ones I've heard of...

Oh, and I'm kinda getting freaked out about the cost....wow...the money...I guess I'm just worried that we'll get this super fast placement...but then I'm worried we'll have to wait...omg I'm pulling my hair out already!! LMAO

Oh, and I will need to get your email adresses and you will have to email me your profile and i can send you ours so we can all give each other pointers!!

Okay, ttyl!
Natalie

[OnTheJourney]

Wow Natalie! Sounds like it has been an exciting few days. When we did our seminar, our heads were rushing forward 200mi/hr. The letter and pictures were sooo hard and we had to have them in before our homestudy would start. We kinda took a step back at that point to 'regroup' and focus on the big picture. It ended up taking a few more months to be 'officially waiting' but everthing thing seemed sooo much easier once we had cleared our heads a bit.
'Hurry up and wait!' seems to be the motto, but remember there is a baby meant just for your family. So be patient and pray that you will find each other.

Good Luck to you and all those waiting!

-M

[Lovebug]

Hey Girlies!

Just wanted to share some good news with you all...we're official! We were approved by our agency so the WAIT begins!!!!!

Here's hoping the journey is short for us all!!!

--Renee

[lauriesch22]

Renee,
Thats great that you are now in the WAIT period.

I too have to get my butt into gear and write my autobiography. It can be anywhere from 3 paragraphs to 3 pages, and at this point on ly the social worker that will do our home study see it.
AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NurseNikki]

I think our profile was about 9 pages total (we were told to do it scrapbook style). I was able to use a variety of pictures, too. It was very hard, but my SIL is a communications person, so I had her proof read it and edit it for me. It was a godsend - in one paragraph, I used the same word five times!

I think the idea to look at other profiles is definitely a must if you can. We had friends from church who were very willing to share their profile and video which really helped. My cousin also had advice since she had just written hers recently, about not being to fakey or sentimental. It was really hard!

I have to say, I am glad mine is done. Good luck to those who are working on theirs!

Renee - welcome our "waiting room"!
Natalie, glad you had a good seminar experience. I felt the same way after our classes - a much better understanding of what open adoption meant, and what it didn't mean, too!

[Vogi2002]

Okay, so I don't mean to brag but let me tell you, I think i have the absolute CUTEST baby room EVER!!! We got the bed, bedding, and everything up and OMG it is sooooo cute!!! It's just perfect....

Anyways, I had my sister read my profile a while back from the first agency and I had exclamation points after like every sentence...LOL...I am just an excited person i guess...needless to say i toned it down a bit...it's just hard in one page to get everything you want to say in....anyways we'll see!! I can't wait until tomorrow to get all my paper and stuff..I'm pretty excited about it!!

Okay, so I have to go to bed but I'm glad to be back...whew, i was tempted to bring my laptop in there so i wouldn't miss anything!! LMAO

Natalie

[sanielsen]

My hubby and I have been waiting for a year now. We had one failed adoption in September of 2005, but have not had any matches since then.
I keep thinking that the waiting will get easier, but I have to admit that it gets more difficult every single day.
Does it get any easier?

[proudmum]

Originally Posted by sanielsen

My hubby and I have been waiting for a year now. We had one failed adoption in September of 2005, but have not had any matches since then.
I keep thinking that the waiting will get easier, but I have to admit that it gets more difficult every single day.
Does it get any easier?

Hi sanielsen,,,,,i dont think the wait for us got easier, but we did have distractions,,, moving and new job and such when the call came,,,, it is hard but all you can do is wait,,,not easy i know,,,, the what ifs and whens drove me crazy,,,,,i became so focused on the phonecall every single day that i drove myself crazy,,, i had to try to step back a bit,,,look forward to the future ( still buying bits and pieces of course lol ) and finally the day arrived,,, 18 months after we submitted our profile.. ( things are a bit different in this country )
So i wish you all the best and my thoughts and hopes are with you all......ITS ALL WORTH THE JOURNEY IN THE END