Waiting to be matched (and I don't mean missing socks!)

Leigh131313 · #1 05-28-2006, 05:46 PM

I thought I'd start a new thread for anyone who is waiting to be matched, no matter how they are adopting. So, whether you are doing domestic infant, international, fostercare (or whatever else!!)....this is the place for you!

Sometimes it can be hard...sometimes it can be fun...but the waiting process is something that can only truly be understood by others who have been there too! So, I hope we can all support each other here as we wait for news!

I'll start us off! I'm not quite officially waiting, but we are just waiting for our homestudy update to be done for our second adoption. After that, then the waiting begins! So far things have been going smoothly....no big bumps yet (thankfully)

I've already started making some things for a new baby...I didnt do alot of this for our first one, and to be honest i regret it. I was too embarrassed to tell people I was making things for myself ...I guess I didnt want people to feel sorry for me not having a baby or something...I dunno....but not this time. I realize now that if i dont work on them now, I'll never have time when the baby is actually here. So I'm enjoying myself making some things for boys and some for girls.. I figure whatever doesnt match the sex of our baby, can always be a gift for someone else someday.

Fran27 · #2 05-29-2006, 05:39 AM

Leigh, what a wonderful idea! I was considering making such a thread myself, just because I'm getting so tired of waiting.

What kind of things are you making? That sounds really cool! I've been buying lots of baby stuff lately also, it's the only thing that keeps me sane.

Just a bit more about me, we started the process in December 2005, it took us what seemed to me like ages to finish our homestudy (at the end of April), so we've been waiting a month. We're doing domestic adoption, and I'm already getting crazy waiting.

mommamarci · #3 05-29-2006, 08:47 AM

We have been waiting a little over two months now! It feels like a lifetime. Hopefully not too much longer. We are doing domestic AA / biracial adoption and were quoted a 3-6 month wait. We'll see how close they are!

Leigh131313 · #4 05-29-2006, 10:13 AM

average-shmaverage....I know if I count on the average, I'll be the one waiting WAY longer...I'm just going to take it as it comes! That's just my luck!! lol

well, So far...I've started a baby blanket that by all reasoning SHOULD be finished, but I havent been as diligent (sp?)

I've also started an outfit for a baby girl...since i have little boy things already, i thought i'd do something different

Welcome to the thread!!

shy_bear · #5 05-29-2006, 11:00 AM

Hello, great idea for a thread!!!

We have two adopted girls, 8 and 5, both were domestic infant adoptions. We are waiting, not so patiently for a placement through foster/adopt. We have been waiting for just about 1 month. This will be our last adoption. With that said I would love a sib group of 2. We have stated we are open to 0-4 single child or sib group. We also have said we are willing to look at females b/t 10 and 12.

Had a lead on a 3 year old boy. Called and spoke with his foster cw. I was hooked!! Talked to our worker and she told me the truth. He had alcohol exposure in utero and is in speech, physical, and occupational therapy. We prob. still would have moved forward with the presentation, but there were red flags just waiving in my mind! Why would the foster worker lie when I point blank asked her if there was drug or alcohol exposure and tell me he is not recieving any services. So we emailed letting them know we were not interested.

This wait has been much harder on me than the other 2. I felt with the infant placement there was an end in sight. With the foster adoption I don't feel that way. We have set a time limit of 2 years; if we have not been placed and finalized in the 2 years we are going to pursue another infant adoption.

4baby02 · #6 05-29-2006, 11:12 AM

We are currently waiting, we are adopting an AA domestic infant. We were matched earlier in the month but that match disrupted.

I am getting anxious as we were quoted 1-4, but maybe up to 9. I don't think any of us could not be anxious we all have been waiting a long time for our babies!

To keep me busy this summer I have decided to plant a flower garden. My dd (6) and I are going to try and keep it alive all summer

! I planted Gerbera Daisies in honor of the baby!

Leigh131313 · #7 05-29-2006, 11:30 AM

Ohh those are my absolute favorite flowers!!

Welcome Shy and 4baby!!

I also have a flower garden this year....our yard has been somewhat neglected until this year. We have always watered and mowed, but didnt do anything with the flowerbeds until this year....no time, ya know?

NurseNikki · #8 05-29-2006, 04:49 PM

Hmmm, what a great topic. DH and I are pursuing domestic infant, and thought we were "officially waiting" two months ago. Turns out the agency didn't "put us in the pool" because we didn't send them a check. Let me clarify that: it was a check I asked our worker about sending three or four times!! She kept telling me not to worry, we would get an invoice. We never did, and I found out when she left the agency we DID need to send it in before we could be shown to prospective bmoms. UGHH!!!! I thought something sounded odd, but was just doing as I was told. So, now we will actually be able to have our profile shown after tomorrow.

Anyhow, we have our nursery painted, so from time to time I buy some clothes, diapers, or something, just to keep looking forward to it. And check in here frequently!

Leigh131313 · #9 05-29-2006, 05:00 PM

Nikki, I would be FURIOUS!!!!

NurseNikki · #10 05-29-2006, 05:33 PM

I know I could have been, but I know our original case worker meant no harm, she was just trying to be sure that affordability was not an issue, and that we didn't feel pressured by the money side of things. I decided to turn it to a positive, so if we were to get matched in a few months, it would be, say, three months instead of five, etc.

We have our final walk through by the new case worker tomorrow, and I will give her the signed contract and the first check, so we will be in the general database. To celebrate, I just might go out and buy something for the baby's room!

Leigh131313 · #11 05-29-2006, 06:26 PM

OHHH!! You SHOULD pick something up!! Good for you!!

wish i had a better attitude most days!!lol

Lovebug · #12 05-29-2006, 08:47 PM

Hey Gang!

Great thread!!! Like Leigh, we are just waiting for our HS update to be written...had our visit and submitted all the paperwork, etc. It should be done this week or by early next week. Then we are going to apply to the same agency we used previously. We have a little boy who is 2 years, 4 mos.

I am eager of course to have our baby!!!! Not looking forward to the wait this time, as before ignorance was bliss! Lol.

--Renee

Fran27 · #13 05-30-2006, 04:18 AM

I wouldn't quite say that ignorance is bliss the first time, lol.

Nikki, wow, you're taking it much better than I would have... I would be furious too.

NurseNikki · #14 05-30-2006, 10:54 AM

After the caseworker leaves, I think I am going to go out and buy one of those baby slings, or front carrier. I really want to use one of those.

My DH worries that I am getting too carried away, and that we may have to wait a long time to get matched. That is exactly why I am spreading it out! It helps keep me focused on the happy ending, not the time spent waiting for it.

Thanks for your support.

Back to the original question, I hope to spend a lot of time in my gardens this summer. And I have a scrapbook to start. I want to do a baby book that includes some of this waiting stuff. Any suggestions?

solarscarlet · #15 05-30-2006, 11:14 AM

Hi everyone... this thread is such a good idea!! Dh & I have been waiting about a month. We are pursuing a domestic infant adoption; the only preference that we have is we would like to adopt a female, as we already have a 9yr old son. We were originally wanting to adopt thru Children Services but after 2 yrs of nothing, we decided to go a different route. We realized that we would really like the experience of having a newborn again. While we have been waiting, we've been working on updating our homestudy. Since we waited so long to change to a private adoption agency, everything needed to be updated & accurate when it comes time to finalize
after placement. We had our last visit with our sw this weekend, so now I have become obsessed with waiting.

I have been trying to keep myself busy. Some of the things that I have done to occupy my mind & time are journaling, crocheting some baby items, thinking of ways to decorate the nursery, & I have been pricing baby furnishings/items (WOW...have things changed since my son was born..lol).
I have trying really hard not to buy anything, even though my Dh surprised me with the diaper bag that I was hoping to buy. I guess that I am scared to buy anything right now until we are "matched".

I am hoping the time will go by quickly. Maybe I will become really busy when my son is out of school for the summer (1 more week). But we will see!!

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