[DeafSiren]

Hi everyone,

Thanks again to those who offered their advice to me a few weeks ago when I was considering contacting a former potential birthmother who was matched with us and then decided to parent.

I was on the fence for a long time, then at the last minute on Mother's Day Sunday I decided to just go ahead. I sent her a funny e-card with a little message saying I cared for her, hoped she and her children were doing well, and hoped that my contacting her wouldn't cause any pain or confusion.

It was a week before she read the card (maybe doesn't check her email often), but then she wrote back to me the next day. She said that she was glad to hear from me, and actually that she respects me and would like to keep in touch if that wouldn't be too awkward. Not at all the response I expected! Anyway, it is a little awkward, but I've decided to just do occasional newsy emails like I do with my old college roommates or acquaintances.

Anyway, the other news is that we've just been contacted by another potential birthmother. I feel like I really like her, even though I don't even know her. She isn't due for another 2 1/2 months, and I know a lot can happen in 2 1/2 months. My attitude is that I'm getting to know someone as a friend (just as the former pbm is a friend) and she may decide to allow us to parent her daughter. But at times I've been just overwhelmed with emotion--scared to get excited or happy or even have hope. Does anyone know what I mean? I want to protect my heart--there are so many unknowns--but from what I do know about this young woman, I really do like her.

Thanks for listening,
L.

[MkMw]

I totally understand. I'm still in touch with a girl considered us as a family, she wound up miscarrying.

And about the fence....I went through the same thing last year - I finally dropped her a note on here due date. She wrote back with the details on the baby....we've since lost touch, but it was still nice to know that things were going well.

Right now, I'm in the same boat - the baby is now 2 weeks old, but I haven't heard from her mother since the day after she was born - I know that she was in the NICU...and would really like to know that she is o.k. and home, but no response to my notes.

[Hopp]

Congrats both on the positive outcome in the contact, but also with the potential match. I'm sooo happy it worked out for you with the previous pbm. What a joy.

[xillini]

Congrats on getting connect with your old friend & congrats on our new match! It's hard not to let all of the emotions take over but you have a wonderful outlook on your new situation!!! Good luck!

[definitelyjulia]

So glad to hear you had such a positive experience. I find it REALLY interesting that here you kind of came full circle with grieving over the first situation and reconnecting with the birthmom and then another situation comes to you. Have you ever read the book "When God Winks" by Squire Rushnell? I don't think it was any random coincidence that you may have found another match after resolving your feelings with the first birthmom. I think or hope that it's really part of the path that leads you to motherhood!

Good luck! 2 1/2 months will fly by! We've been waiting and matched since December and I thought then that this day would never come and next week is our PBM's due date!! All I can think now is, "where did the time go?" LOL

Blessings!
Julia