[ks01]

my husband and i are involved in a match with a pbmom and father who are currently together (he has already signed his rights). we are not expecting to have much contact with them either before or after the birth since they have expressed that they don't want to.

in this situation what type of gift if any would be appropriate after the birth? should we give a gift that is for the both of them?

we were previously involved in a match where the mother decided to parent. in that case we knew her well so a gift was easy to select.

[msmoo2]

We are in the exact situation that you are! We have never seen or spoke with our pbparents and won't until the delivery day. (which should be in the next two weeks) We have only had email contact with them and we are doing a private adoption without an agency. I've decided to purchase a Circle of Life necklace and a gift basket of Bath & Body stuff for the pbmom.... but I have NO idea what to give to the bpdad and if I should send anything for their other children?

[dtmom2b]

We knew our BParents before birth. We had a custom necklace made for Birthmom with DS birthstone and two hearts. For Birthdad we gave him a pocket watch with DS birthdate engraved on back.
We gave these to them about a week after DS birth, I think it was when we signed papers and a visit after the hospital.

HTH

[ks01]

thanks for the advice. a pocket watch sounds like a good idea. we actually dont plan on seeing the pbparents at all. should we leave the gifts at the hospital or send them through the agency afterwards?

[dtmom2b]

Do you even know if they would like a gift? Some might not and take it as a bad thing and not as you intend it. I would say keep all contact through the agency and give the gifts to them, but just my two cents.

[ks01]

thanks dtmom2b. i think you're right.

[Vogi2002]

I wanted to add that you need to check with your agency and be sure that gifts are allowed...especially before they have signed, in some states it is illegal....just FYI- love these ideas though!!

Natalie