[kelceesmom]

We were like you. We would rather spend a little at a time than all at once. It is very expensive having a baby in the house. By the time our baby arrived home we had enough diapers and formula to last us for about 4 months. It was nicer to ease into it.

[Emster]

I have to give our Babies R Us kudos. I walked in to register once we were given a due date 3 weeks out. I dreaded going in, just knowing that I would be stared at and looked at like a fool. I sat down at the registry desk, and without missing a beat, the clerk smiled widely and asked "when is the big event?" I seriously welled up with tears becasue she did not treat me like an imposter when I told her three weeks. Then, as we walked through the store, we had our own sales person who was very helpful, showed us how gadgets worked and what we would probably need. No one questioned us and I never had to even say we were adopting. I just felt like they "got it." I still need to write a thank you note to the management for that. Thanks for reminding me of that, because it could so easily have gone the other way!.

[TF28]

You can never be to prepared. We received a call from our SW the other day telling us that she was going to show our profile to a birthmother that was two days past her due date. We didn't get the placement but, it let us know that it could happen at anytime and we needed to be more prepared. I went out and bought a boy and girls outfit to wash up and have ready just incase we got another call to come now.

______________________
TF

[NurseNikki]

I too, have started buying a few things, at our SW recommendation, and just for therapy. SW said you can never have too many diapers, wipes, or formula, so those were things to stock up on. DH and I got the nursery ready as a "milestone" once we knew the homestudy was completely finished. We bought the carseat and stroller as another milestone after the agency meeting when we were approved. I only buy clothes that I find on clearance, but it is all therapy to me, to help keep me excited.

Though our nursery isn't done, it's done enough for now. We have the crib set up and use it when our nieces come over anyway. I don't think its bad to be prepared! I agree with others posters, we should get to enjoy this prep time too!

[pndm96]

I know where your comming from. At first I felt uncomfortable shopping at Babies R US. I even started my registry 8 months B4 we were placed. After most of the larger items were discontinued I had to change half of the registry. Talk about people looking at you all crazy. But I had the attitude of who cares what other people think. Anyway I bought some items as they were on clearance. The only big items that I purchased was the bedding set. I didn't klnow if it would be available when were placed. We just recently ordered the bedroom furniture (1 month after placement).

We had a last minute placement and if it wasn't for a little shopping here and there along the bassinet, car seat and clothing that was borrowed from family I would have gone crazy.

Debra

[Ima2B]

I have had great experiences in Babies R us and other stores. ALthough after reading this post I was more conscious of the store clerks etc. But still haven't got any weird looks or anything.
We have picked out a stroller but haven't purchased it yet. Yesterday we purchased all the saftey stuff as that is required for our homestudy. I also bought a cute little outfit!!

[jaenelle]

DH and I haven't bought much of anything -- we did buy a little crib toy at Target one night, though, and my mom saved a few things from when I was a baby and she gave those to me so I have those.


I'm one of those people that isn't comfortable getting too far into things very quickly. Our homestudy isn't done yet, and I really *can't* see buying anything until it is. We haven't started working on the room that will be the baby's -- I mean, it's only got a few things stored in there right now, but we haven't started decorating or anything.

Many things in my life that I've gotten excited about or acted on quickly have not worked out so I have a bit of a "jinx" complex. Add in to that the uncertainty that is adoption, and I just don't feel comfortable buying anything yet and don't see myself being comfortable buying things anytime soon.

We may very well be at Wal-Mart buying things the day we bring the baby home and that's fine with me. I'd rather scramble then, I think, than have to look at a bunch of baby stuff in the event of a failed match.

[Hopp]

I preped early as well. I did lots of looking and researching on-line first so that I'd know basicly what I wanted. I did register at BRU at the request of family and friends. Our experience was similar to Emster. We walked in and they were great. Additionally, I went into my fav. fabric boutique to purchase material months before our son was born. I wanted to do his room myself (I don't like pre-fab stuff). When I went up to tell the clerk what material I wanted pulled and cut, she asked what I was making. I said, "our baby is going to be born in a few months and I'm doing his nursery." She looked at me and very smartly said, you look GOOD! I laughed and explained how our son would be coming to us (she was sooo sweet). Anyway, the girl teared up and said that she had been adopted in a closed adoption 20 years ago. We chatted, and upon check-out I got a 20% discount!

I took the attitude that I have every right to be in BRU or any other place I want to be. Do I need a gift receipt? Nah, its for us. Is it for a registry? Yes, mine...can you please remove this item for me. I never got looked at funny or felt strange. Maybe they really did look funny, but I just didn't care.

This is your special time to prepare. You are not a fraud or an imposter. You are going to be a mom. In a lot of ways you are in your first tri-mester and are starting to nest. Enjoy it. Plan things out, buy your little heart out, and throw the rest of it away...You are gonna' be a MOMMY!!!

Celebrate!

[jaenelle]

I just can't let myself get excited yet. So many things could go wrong and break my heart. I'm sure I'll feel differently when we're further into the process and I really feel like it's really happening, but for now... no.
It's great if you feel comfortable with that, but I just don't and can't yet.

[tbright]

I completely understand. Our adoption process was extremely quick. I went to BRU to register and felt a little anxiety and was ready for questions. The salesperson who helped us with the registry was great. When we told her we were adopting it didn't seem to phase her. My hubby and I had a great time selecting items for our registry. We were a little different as we didn't share the adoption process with anyone other than our immediate family..that eliminated the 1 millions questions. The rest of our friends and family didn't find out until our daughter was home.

I didn't purchase much except the basics (i.e. onsies, a few bottles, lotions, etc). My mother believes that you don't purchase anything until the baby is here...so to say the least we didn't design the nursery early..and I am glad we didn't.

Finally. one night my hubby and I decide to at least purchase the travel system and a bassinet to have just in case...you would never believe our daughter was born the next day (2 weeks early). That was big relief. The hospital gave us a whole bunch of stuff (i.e. formula, diapers, hats, etc). We only had to bring her onsie outfit to go home in.

I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable..

[Fran27]

Jaenelle, I totally understand! It's actually a reason why I wanted to start before being matched... We bought for a baby, not a particular one. That way if a match fails it will be easier on us.

I know lots of things can go wrong in adoption, but one way or the other there will be a baby eventually.

[jaenelle]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Jaenelle, I totally understand! It's actually a reason why I wanted to start before being matched... We bought for a baby, not a particular one. That way if a match fails it will be easier on us.

I know lots of things can go wrong in adoption, but one way or the other there will be a baby eventually.

Yes, I guess you're right... it will just be hard to look at anything we have if a match fails... but I guess it won't really be any harder with the stuff there than without it. So maybe there's really no reason to delay. I do think we will wait until our homestudy is complete, because although I can't really see any reason we wouldn't "pass", if for some reason we can't "pass" then our hopes of having children are pretty well gone. I think I will feel once the homestudy is approved that although it may take time at least it will happen. Until then, I can't really believe it will happen.

And my mom's cousin gave me a HUGE laundry basket full of clothes and some toys from her daughter's stuff so now we are starting to accumulate things whether we're totally comfortable with it or not. I'm off to run a bunch of it through the laundry right now.

[chrisandaaron]

Originally Posted by gottahavehope

I have an even more akward situation than shopping. My dh and I are hoping to adopt a baby boy in June. We decided to go to a newborn care class b/c we have no baby experience. It was us and five other couples. The women were all like 7 or 8 months pregnant. We show up and it is clear I'm not pregnant. I'm a runner, tall and thin. Anyway, we go around the room and say our hames and when our babies are due. I cheerfully say the due date for this baby boy. You should have seen the looks. We waited a few moments to savor the reaction and then laughed and said we were adopting. It was actually pretty funny.

I know it can be tough but don't let things stress you. You have every reason to prepare just like any other expectant mother. And, you are an expectant mother from the moment you start down the adoption path.


Peace,
K

We went to our class expecting that to be the case and only one or two ladies in the room was pregnant. Most of us were adopting! LOL

[chrisandaaron]

AFter 4 matches and the birth of my first son we had Boy clothes 0-3T, Girl clothes 0-18 months, and what do they call and tell me to bring for my 2nd son? PREEMIE clothes! You can never be too prepared! Enjoy your shopping ladies!

[Shai's Mom]

We had a Monty-Python-esque situation: a Baby pretty much falling into our arms.

DH and I adopted a little boy almost 4 years ago (Time FLIES!!!). He was 7 1/2 months old at the time. December 2004 we completed the paperwork for a second adoption. We were sure that we'd get a toddler, a bit closer to DS's age. Since we had all of his clothes, crib, etc, we weren't really concerned.

We got "the call", 9 months later: a baby, 7 weeks old. We had less than 48 hours from the time of our social worker's call until we took our second little boy home.

We had a crib and a stroller for the baby, but needed to get all new clothes, formula (and "learn" what to feed a baby without killing him), bottles, etc. That was stress.

But, we made it and everything turned out fine.