[Leigh131313]

This was an issue for me last time. I was so worried what people would think, i didnt knit or crochet alot of things I wanted to, because I didnt want to be questioned.

This time it's different. I've already started making things (boy and girl) because even if I don't use it for OUR child, someone is BOUND to have a baby of the oposite sex, and I'll have the perfect baby shower gift..lol

I'm not hiding it either..I tell people....of couse some have called dibs on a few items..lol

Oh, another thing....Even with ds in tow, and being only a couple weeks old, they STILL ask if you need a gift receipt or if its for the registry...it's just policy, I know it's hard but dont take it to heart.

[emmahenry]

I've started to collect baby things... The few people I've talked to have given me the "Aren't you being premature?" speech that gets very old very fast.

I say just keep buying, collecting and getting ready... Pregnant women get to go on baby shopping sprees, why can't we? We're expectant mothers too!

[Ela]

Women who are barely pregnant buy baby stuff. So what if it takes months? It takes months to gestate one, but no one says anything about that.

We had a failed placement, but after we were put back in the book, our baby came in 3 months, with only a few days notice. Fortunately, we'd had a shower months earlier, and I'd been shopping ever since our homestudy. I still wish I'd done more; I had to pick up so many things in the first few weeks, and I was SO TIRED!!!

[karaleah]

Tell the busybodies you're nesting and change the subject.

I personally LOVE Babies R Us!!! I do admit though, after we brought DD#1 home and my mom and I went to register for her shower, I saw a few pregnant women and it really came crashing home that I still had some grieving to do over my own infertility and miscarriages. But, I just tried not to dwell on it that day.

Infertility has stolen *so much* from all of us... don't let it steal your joy as an expectant mom!

Now, a couple of years (and 2 girls) later, they always ask me if I need a gift receipt. They did this even when I was pregnant with my "I-guess-5-years-of-infertility-and-2-miscarriages-isn't-reliable-birth-control" miracle baby (dd#2). LOL

[traceyk]

My baby was born within 2 weeks of signing so I was sure glad my nursery was complete. And when they asked me things about gift registries and things at BRU, I smiled and said "no, it's for me"! I also registered for gifts at BRU for our baby shower. You have nothing to explain.

[NJNative]

When we adopted, the whole adoption took only 40 days from start to finish. And even with THAT warp-speed adoption, I was afraid to buy anything, lest something fall through. Plus I figured that since he was going on 10 months old that he'd come with some clothes.

Then with less than 2 weeks to go, our lawyer called and told me that she thought I had better come prepared with clothes for our soon-to-be son, because he was wearing old worn-out, secon-hand things. So I had to go shopping quick. And of course, by then it was the last week in July. Do you know what's in stores in late July? WINTER CLOTHES!

My mom and I ended up going through the sales racks in three malls to get a wardrobe to last until winter. As for furniture, etc., we borrowed a crib from a friend and two days before we left to get our son, we yanked the bed out of the guest room and put in the crib and a rocking chair (which had been living in another room). No fancy bedding, no changing tables, no baby theme in the room -- though the guest room was painted a pale green with a border of peach-colored tulips. Then the day before we left, I went through the dicount drug store and filled a cart with diapers, wipes, baby thermometers, you name it. Dropped about $150!

Once we had the baby -- who wore size 24 months BTW -- we filled in the gaps in his wardrobe at an outlet mall. That was loads of fun, since we got to explain that we'd just adopted him and the sales ladies all gushed and helped us with everything.

As for winter clothes, well, I didn't have to worry about those. Three baby showers later, I had enough clothes for TWO kids!

Robin

[karaleah]

I was just found a website with adoption-themed t-shirts. Anyway, they have some cute ones, including one that says "Paper Pregnant". That's what you need for your BRU excursions.

PM me for the link, if you're interested.

Shari

[mommamarci]

I was actually in Babies R Us last week and saw a sign that said something like "If we don't ask if you are shopping from a regisrty, you get a $5 gift card," I really can't remember what it said, but if they don't ask, you get something. So, that is why they ask. I actually started our baby room before we even finsihed our home study. When they came for the home visit, the room was painted and I had a crib and changing table already! I have been slowly buying stuff as we go. We really cannot afford, with all of the other added baby expenses, to drop $500 the day we get the baby to get everything we need. It is much eaiser to spend $100 a month while going through the process. I also did registries, but I went early and told them a date six months away, so I could have very easily been pregnant and just wasn't showing yet.

[StorkWatcher]

Now I always wanted to vent that they make you pick a due date for those registries! They need a special one for adoptive moms to say "anywhere between less than 24 hours and 3 years".............!

I felt funny when I registered for about the first hour in the first store. Especially when the other people in the dept kept staring at my very flat tummy, trying to decide if I was actually a few months along, or just regsitering the minute after the EPT stick test came back positive. It hit me suddenly, and I told my mom - you know what? I might not be pregnant, but I AM EXPECTING!!!! And then I was just so happy thinking that little thought the rest of the time that I hope my happy glow convinced other people that I really was expecting my baby!

When our agency told us we could have less than 24 hours notice or a few months, we got nervous and made sure we had enough basics on hand to get through 1 day. A good thing, because we did end up w/ what would have been 22 hours notice (but was delayed by 7 hours)!!!

Explain to nosy people that it can be a last-minute placement, and that even if the pregnancy hormones aren't running rampant, the expectant mother ones ARE, and your need to next is overwhelming, the stress of waiting is very difficult, and the shoppy therapy is helping immensely!

[MommyBear]

You do what YOU want to do. Period.

I started buying baby things the week after we attended our first orientation meeting at our agency. I have been steadily accumulating stuff over the last 6 months. Our homestudy should FINALLY be approved by the middle of next month and our nursery is now COMPLETE!

I could bring home a baby tomorrow and would be able to take care of them for at least a week without ever needing to leave the house.

Our nursery is gorgeous - simple and peaceful. I spend some time in there every few days just relaxing. The cats think its their room! Won't they be surprised when a howling infant moves in???

I have faced the "prematurity" argument from two of the most important people in my lives - DH and my best girlfriend. I've had to stomp my feet and stick up for myself - and there have been tears. But through it all - I've continued to do things the way I wanted to do them.

And I know that I will be BEYOND grateful when our child comes home and all we will need to do is open a drawer or two to get everything they need.

[StorkWatcher]

Alison - I hear you! Premature? Who says it's premature? Most people I know who have biological children, IF they don't want to be "premature" in getting ready, wait until month 6 or 7 (past when they think something might happen to the pregnancy) to really go at the nursery.

With us, I felt more like - hey! I could already be in my "ninth month" of waiting and not know it! Plus, I knew we'd eventually adopt and were sure to have a baby at some point, so no need to wait!!!!

Most importantly, it made me feel better...... You're right!

[Fran27]

Thanks for all the posts I definitely appreciate seeing that I'm not alone in wanting to be ready and not having to do anything at the last minute. Plus we don't want a shower until we have the baby (or a month later if we have to use PA laws), so we can't count on gifts to help us there.

I actually went farther and actually washed everything, so it's ready in the drawers when we need it. It will definitely be nice to be able to just open the drawer, put everything in a bag and go, if we end up with an emergency placement.

So again, thanks for the support!

[ChasingRainbows]

I am so glad I found this thread. I went into BRU a week after we began getting ready for our HS. I wanted to get a baby first aid kit.

I was so overwhelmed, and felt like an imposter. Very preg. women stared wonderingly and I left before getting anything. I could not deal...

recently I went with a very preg. friend to help pick out a carseat. I wanted to look at diaper bags, but even she hovered a little. She didn't think I should start buying yet.

Everyone I have around me thinks i should wait until the baby is home. I really want to start now. I want things prepared before it happens. DH does not understand this either. I think he does not realize how overwhelmed he is going to be when we bring a baby home. I don't want to fly into Wal-mart and pick up $500 worth of stuff I want to savor being an expectant mom.

Thank you for starting this thread. I no longer feel alone. in this

[NJNative]

two weeks after we first heard that our son might be available for adoption. Our lawyer called and the very first thing she said was, "I wouldn't buy anything yet, but I'd definitely start looking for baby furniture!" I actually jumped out of my desk chair, while still hanging on to the phone. That very night after work my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate the "maybe" and straight to Toys R' Us -- they didn't even HAVE Babies R' Us in 1991.

We brought along a notebook and a measuring tape and we checked out EVERYTHING! Car seats, strollers, diaper bags, baby gates...you name it. It was SO much fun! When the clerk heard we were planning on an adoption and soon, she was so helpful. She pulled all the carseats right off the displays and showed us how to open and close all the strollers and playpens.

By the time we left, we had everything picked out. Then the week before we left to get our son, we went and purchased it all -- in two cars! It was so exciting to be getting ready for our son -- no wonder no one slept in my house for a month...LOL.

Robin

[joskids]

I think that it's a shame if you can't enjoy the "pregnancy experience" like anyone that is CARRYING a baby. You certainly have the right. I know what you are feeling as I have felt the same. I think you're right to start a bit early, not going overboard but buying some of the things you will need. I did the same thing and just let myself feel the happiness, despite the little uneasy feeling inside. You're as deserving as any pregnant mother to enjoy these exciting days. Your day will come when you have that baby to bring home and enjoy and all will fall into place. In the meantime, we all know what you're feeling. Adoption is not for the faint of heart. Hang in there, enjoy the excitement and write when you need to release steam. No one quite understands adoption like a family that's already adopted. We have 4 and could not be happier. Best wishes to you and your hubby. Hope your time passes quickly!

Josie