[icunurse]

You're not being a downer, you're giving your opinion and that is allowed

I think, as an amom, I appreciated that both times the character decided to place, she was shown as having a very difficult struggle and even saying, "This is the hardest thing I've ever done" (or something like that). While I can see your point that in order to show a full story, it would have to show the bmom's struggles/regrets/sadness, it is just an hour-and-a-half. Overall, though, I still think it is moving in the right direction of the portrayal of adoption. All situations and people, from all areas of the triad, can't have their unique feelings and stories represented.

BTW - Mercedes Ruehl (portrayed the mom in the movie) is a bmom in reunion IRL.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...yndication=rss

[AwaitingBeloved]

Wow, I didn't know that about Mercedes Ruehl. I have a new respect for her (I always liked her anyway.) I guess that explains why she gave such a convincing, heart felt performance. I really felt a connection to her in that.

Jan, I love that you're honest and respectfully so. You are one person who can disagree without being disrespectful, and that's something we can all learn from for so many reasons.. even outside of the adoption world.

[adoptionsearchblog2]

Thanks Julie, I didn't know that about Mercedes Ruhl either. I do try to be respectful even when I disagree; I appreciate your noticing.

I was glad that they showed that it was hard - and did not make the decision to be easy. If it's the show I am thinking of - believe it is - it seemed that for awhile she was going to parent. And, it seemed as though she could do a good job of parenting - that would be a happy ending for me.

When a woman relinquishes - that does not touch me - it saddens me. Adoptive parents see the happiness and joy of becoming parents in adoption - I see loss, grief and regret. Different perspective. I know you understand that Julie - you've read enough here to understand birth parents somewhat.

How are you doing by now with motherhood?

[melliemoo]

You know, one of the hardest things about adopting for me is that someone else's family has to be broken up so that I can have mine. I do think it's sad when the relinquishment occurs.

Melissa =)

[AwaitingBeloved]

Jan, thank you for asking!

Things are well. We had our second visit with her birth family on Monday. DH and I were really nervous.. butterfly nervous. Will they think we're bad parents? Will they not like how we're doing things? Will they think she's unhappy (she had shots that morning.. ugh)? It was so great because if nothing else, it was the opposite, at least they made us feel that way. The whole family was there. It was so nice. And they are so warm and loving. It really made it feel like I had the "okay" to be her mom. I hadn't felt that until Monday. So it was such a nice experience.

DD has a cold, this is her second one and she's only 2 months old!! Her birth grandmother told us that her birth dad was this way and had severe asthma, so maybe that's what this is and they aren't identifying it yet? I'll talk to her Dr. about it the next time we're in and see what he thinks. The Docs have been great, too. We've been there a few times.. lol. She had thrush for a long time and then the two colds, so, they know us already!

It's great though. I finally feel like I know what I'm here to do. I can't explain it. But I just feel like this is who I'm meant to be.. an adoptive mom.

And I agree with what Melissa said above.. the hardest part was (is) knowing how much pain this causes her birth family. No matter how well thought out their decision was, it's still a loss for them, and I wouldn't wish this kind of loss on anyone. That was actually overwhelming the first couple of weeks. I think I was taking on their pain and making it mine, but I've gotten better and I know I can't heal them, I can just keep my promises.

Anyway, thanks for asking. I haven't been around much lately.. It's nice to reconnect. ;-)