[xantii]

we got back last night empty handed. after years of trying to have a family, we were finally there. she was born and I had a chance to hold her, kiss her, study her tiny hands, care for her and begin learning how to be a first mom. I didn't fall in love inmediately, but we were on our way. and then, just as suddenly as she came, she vanished. our greatest fear came reality, the birthparents changed their mind. there is a void in my chest, a hole in my heart. i had a feeling from the beginning that there was something wrong, but I listened to everyone who told me to be positive and have faith. I should had listened to myself...the little bit of faith I had left vanished as she did.

[intladoptionblog]

Very, very sorry. But please try to keep the faith. Perhaps she just wasn't YOUR child. I know that sounds easy to say and very hard to hear, and I'm sorry, but...
We had a local adoption fall through for the same reason when we were wanting to add another child to our family, and although we didn't ever see the child, we had the empty crib, the tiny clothes, etc. We were heartbroken, then decided to go international, and how have a darling daughter who just turned one this month. She's been with us from 13 weeks of age and is another light in our lilves.
Keep slogging along and doing all that needs doing. Hopefully, your child will join you when the time is right.
All the best,

[Emster]

Praying for your healing and sending hugs your way.

[gottahavehope]

I am so very sorry. I know there are no real words I can say that will take away the pain in your heart. Instead, I'm just sending you all the positive energy, thoughts, hopes, and prayers I can think of.

Love and peace,
K

[Vogi2002]

There is nothing that can fill the void of your empty arms...I am so very sorry for your pain. Please feel free to vent here if needed and grieve. It is so hard at times to keep faith....hopefully one day it will all become clear, but until then we must allow ourselves to bend and break at times, just remember we are all here for you if you need us!!

Natalie

[DebCsMom]

I am so very sorry for your pain. When we lose a child, even in this manner, it hurts as though the child has died. We know the child was not yet ours, but we had hopes & dreams for that child. Some will say it wasn't our child to grieve. Being with the child if only for a couple of days, is the build up to all the heartache & pain & sadness we went through to get that far. For that to be ripped away from us is hard to accept. Even if somewhere way down deep, we had a "feeling" it wouldn't happen. You will go through the grieving process. It's normal. It's hurt like nothing else ever has. Physically as well as emotionally.

You will heal, in time. It seems like all hope is forever gone. It isn't. At this time it is impossible to even imagine going through the whole process of waiting again. In time, you will be ready. You will know when.

This has happened to alot of us. Yet no one can say they know how you feel. Your feeling & pain are your own. But we are here for you because we have been there. We have heard everyone tell us to not give up, to keep faith & to move on. We feel like they have no idea what they are saying & how can they say that! But it is all true!

We are here for you!! Take your time to grieve.

Hugs & Prayers to you!

Deb

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by xantii

we got back last night empty handed. after years of trying to have a family, we were finally there. she was born and I had a chance to hold her, kiss her, study her tiny hands, care for her and begin learning how to be a first mom. I didn't fall in love inmediately, but we were on our way. and then, just as suddenly as she came, she vanished. our greatest fear came reality, the birthparents changed their mind. there is a void in my chest, a hole in my heart. i had a feeling from the beginning that there was something wrong, but I listened to everyone who told me to be positive and have faith. I should had listened to myself...the little bit of faith I had left vanished as she did.

So sorry... please be kind to yourself. You will get through. My thoughts are with you and your family, this precious baby and her family.

[snaps]

I am so sorry. I know that you must be devastated. That is always the greastest fear that we have. The right child will come along. I can't say I know how you feel, but I know I would have been devastated if our birthmom had changed her mind. We did have two failed matches and those were bad enough. Keep the faith. You WILL be a parent - the right child just hasn't found you yet.

Snaps

[gregorysparents]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Christina

[dutchgirl2]

I'm so sorry for your pain and the grief you must be feeling right now. It truly is devastating to go through that. But don't give up hope or the faith that a child will come along who was meant to be yours to love and hold. It will happen and when it does it will still all have been worth it.
We too lost a placement of a baby boy last November. He was at home with us for a month when we returned him to his first family. But we met a lovely young couple in January this year and we watched our daughter being born last week.
It may not seem like it right now, but things will get better. We are all here for you so feel free to vent away.
Take care of yourself.

Simone

[nawlinsmom]

I am so sorry for your pain, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[ChristieS]

I just want to let you know how sorry I am. It will take time for you to grieve. Try not to give up - it is hard - but also worth it when it finally comes true.

My prayers are with you.

[hopefulamom]

I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Please give yourself time to heal and grieve.

Take care

[mommy2savanna]

(((HUGS))) I just want you to know that I am thinking and praying for you and your family!! Please keep the faith. I hope your baby finds you soon.

Ruth

Mom to princess Savanna and to the adorable Christian Lee, both are open adoptions.

[MollyinSD]

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

We had an adoption fall through as well. We had Andrew home for 5 days, when his birthmom changed her mind at 9 at night. We were devestated.

After working through it and spekaing with our facilitator we agreed to stay on the list and not take a break. 15 days later we were called and Ethan was to be born in 5 days.

Your forever child is out there. I know how you feel. The numbness that takes over, the anger that will come and then eventually understanding that this child was not the one. There is a child out there waiting for your loving arms. Try not to give up hope. I know that is hard to hear, but I truly believe if you can, stick with it and you will find the one that is meant for you.

In the meantime, hugs your way.