[Fionamummy]

Hi everyone,
just had to ask for your advice - My 1 year old fell over while learning to walk and he has a split head and all bruised on his forehead. I feel guilty because I didn't catch him in time and me and my husband have been arguing.

The thing is, I searched on-line for a protective hat to cushion his head over the next few months, not to wear all the time, just while he is playing on the patio, holding on to his sand pit etc. I felt that it would be a preventative measure but my husband thinks that, since we waited nearly 10 years to adopt, I'm being over protective now. This is the hat I found on-line www.thudguard.com - do you guys think I'm being over protective? I would be grateful for your advice. I hate being called a paranoid or over protective mum but I love my baby so much so what harm could it do to keep him as safe as I can?[

[gregorysparents]

I don't think that you are being over protective. I checked out the website and found that this hat can not be mailed to the US.

While the hat is a very good idea, I am not sure if I would purchase such a hat. Babies and toddlers will get lots of injuries as the learn to walk and crawl.

I guess my advice would be to keep him off of the really hard surfaces for now. Just watch him a little more carefully (if you can). You can't protect him from every fall nor can you protect him from every little bump and bruise!!!!

Good luck to you!!!

Christina

[momofmykids]

Welcome to motherhood!!! This is very normal and will happen, most likely, again.

I think the hat is a good idea for a child who may have some kind of medical issues, but, in my opinion, think it is a bit much. Not to mention how hot it would be!!!

Just my .02.

[traceyk]

You did take him to the pediatrician right away didn't you? What did the ped. say about the helmet?

[kakuehl]

The hat is kind of cute. Too bad it's not available in the US. Speaking as both a mother and a grandmother, kids are going to fall while they learn to walk! Their heads are still big in proportion to their bodies. I know it's hard to relax especially when they've already banged themseves up once. I would try to make sure there aren't too many sharp corners on furniture (like coffee tables, etc.)

Ultimately, you do have to be careful about being over-protective (I'm not saying you are now) because he will pick up on it and may become afraid to explore and try new things. As parents we often feel guilty when we can't keep our children safe -- from injury, pain, failure -- even after they're adults! Ultimately though we can't protect them from every possible danger without locking them in a padded room and keeping them from becoming a mature adult.

All that said, you will worry! He will learn very quickly though -- and then there will be new concerns!

Blessings,
Kathy

[ChristieS]

Yes, I agree, welcome to motherhood! I don't think a hat is necessary. Children fall a LOT when they are learning to walk. You do have to be diligent in watching them - but even standing right beside them a child can fall right down before you can catch them. (Climbers are another story altogether - just wait until your child starts climbing.)

I also tend to be overprotective and my DH does a good job of helping me with that - he says, "What are you doing? He can slide/jump/climb/swing/etc. without help. I let him do it all the time." Ha ha - I just stand there speechless.

[Fionamummy]

You are all so kind and understanding.

Our doc said the hat was a good idea, but not to be worn all the time - the fact that I suffer from MS means that I cant always be assured of a fast reaction so the hat could be of great benefit. I have a friend in the UK so she is going to send away for it and then post it on to me.

I will give it a try anyway. Hubby is calming down now. He really adores Ben too and I think we both got a real scare. I realize that bumps and bruising is part of growing up but I just want to cut down on some of the risks, I guess thats just what all parents want to do.

[AMom2Two]

I'm sorry this happened to your little guy!

I think children learn thru their mistakes. My little son who is 16 months, fell outside, down 3 little steps. He got a bad cut on his face, and a bruise. No stitches needed. I was right there, but couldn't catch him fast enough. I saw his little foot was stuck as he was trying to turn around and go down and before I could even grab him, he fell.

Yesterday I observed my son again on these steps. This time, he was much more careful and took his time. He handled the steps differently, sat on his butt to turn around and went down them without a problem.

My point is he learned from his little fall. I think your son will too, but it is very nerve wracking. I have thought also about putting a little helmet on him, especially when he is running on our driveway, but his head is already bigger then his little body and I didn't want to add more weight.

I can sympathize with you.

ps...I just saw your post about buying the hat. I'm glad you talked it over with your doctor. I can certainly understand his reasoning behind it. Good luck to you!

[FostermomCathie]

Its so important for these little ones to be able to have the chance to learn what hurts and what feels good, to be scared of dangerous things etc.

I had a friend that was so protective of her little one, he never fell off the bed, or found his way up the stairs and realized he couldnt get down. The first time she wasnt watching very closely he had a terrible accident falling, one that a little one his age should have been more aware of. I dont think he had a fear of heights.

It is so sad to hear the cries but the first time you see your baby go feet first off the couch because she learned not to go head first, wow. I feel like its worth a few minor bumps.

[Mindy82]

Originally Posted by Christie S.

Children fall a LOT when they are learning to walk. You do have to be diligent in watching them - but even standing right beside them a child can fall right down before you can catch them.

Yes, sadly this is very true... I don't think you are being overprotective... And I wouldnt' wish to scare you at all, but just as an example, my neighbors have three children who are now 29, 27, and 25... Their first child who was the oldest died at 18 months from a fall.. He just fell and hit his head on the coffee table... Mom and dad were right in the room and there was nothing they could do... So while children do have accidents, I don't think you are being overprotective... Just a good mommy...

[akcskye]

Oh lord honey, don't beat yourself up over something that happens ALL the time.

My concern regarding the child wearing a helmet would be that it would throw their already delicate balance system off.

But, considering those hats are not available in the US...perhaps you could consider a martial arts helmet?

They are made of foam rubber, and they do make some in small sizes, as there are 5 year olds in martial arts.

I don't know if they make them THAT small (for a 1 year old) but if it gave you that extra measure of security, then I say go for it...but at least the foam rubber one might not be so heavy for the balance sake.

[DebCsMom]

We have 5 children & each of them have "war stories" about their first days walking!!! It happens to all of them. I was a WRECK with our first child! I agree with the others, while being over protective can be a good thing it can also be a bad thing. But you couldn't tell me that until about child #4!! LOL Try to keep him from hard surfaces if possible & watch the sharp edges like coffee tables, etc. If they are going to fall, there isn't anything you can usually do. They will eventually figure it out, it won't take long.

He will be fine & so will you!!

Deb

[momofmykids]

Originally Posted by Fionamummy

I just want to cut down on some of the risks, I guess thats just what all parents want to do.

Wait til he starts driving!

Hope the helmet works out for you.

[kakuehl]

My blood pressure was first diagnosed as high on the day my then 16 yr old son passed his driving test.
Kathy

[alwaysus]

Sadly, you cannot avoid all accidents. The best advice I ever got was from my peditrician in Alaska. He said" Unless it is dangerous, you are gonna have to look past it"
In other words, when they are learning something new, they will unavoidably get hurt. They have to learn to fall before they can learn to walk.
Don't beat yourself up over something that WILL happen.