[solarscarlet]

Hi everyone...It's Offical !! As of Monday, we are offically waiting & our Profile Book will now be shown to pbmoms!! I know that I have just boarded the emotional roller-coaster, but it has taken us so long to get to this point...that we are excited, but nervous. What have you done(did you do) to keep you busy during your "waiting period"?? I find myself thinking about the child we will adopt..wondering how long I will have to wait, what bmom will be like, what she will look like, picking out a name? Have any of you done this? I feel as if I am starting the process of becoming obsessive. On another note, we are having our h/s updated while we are waiting & a meeting scheduled for Sunday in our home with sw. Can you tell me the things they look for? We were originally going to our county to adopt, but decided to switch to a private agency, so I am not sure if they look for anything different. Do I need to clean like a "mad-woman" (which I do anyway), but do I need to get behind every piece of furniture, the refridgerator, oven, etc?? See...I am already becoming crazy...AAAHHHHH!!
Wish us luck, Solarscarlet

[bagletkt]

Wow,


You remind me of myself. Our match toook longer than I expected and the waiting is hard. The only advice I can give is spend time alone and with DH. As your wait becomes longer you realize that you cannot think about your potential match all the time. Go see a movie, go to a spa, go on a weekend trip. That was our sure fire way to get matched. We were on a snowbilling trip and had no phone service. On Monday we had several messages from our agency saying a bmom wanted to meet us. That is how life goes.

As for the homestudy they just want to know the home is safe and adequate size. Make sure to have smoke detectors and fire extinguishers.

Take a deep breath, you will be fine .

[daisy girl]

Hello Solarscarlet;

Best of luck to you on your adoption. It's funny but the day I left my cell at work was the day we got the call regarding a birth mother. Not suggesting you do this but it seems that when you least expect you get your call.
Daisy Girl

[mommamarci]

Solar,
I am working on my house while I wait. I just finished the bathroom. I am redecorating. Well, not really redecorating. More like decorating. We have only been in the house for about 10 months and I never took the time to decorate. I am limiting myslef to $200 per room, so I cannot go overborad. I am doing it a little at a time. I get coupons for 20% off from Linens N Things all the time, so I go in and buy one piece at a time. I still want to do my bedroom and the kitchen. I know I won't have the time or the money once the baby comes! It seems to help me pass the time. I have been browsing a lot so I can find the right stuff.

[mommamarci]

P.S. I forgot to say Congrats!! I remember how exciting it was when we found out we were waiting. I think I called / e-mailed everyone I knew to tell them!!

[StorkWatcher]

Congratulations! I remember thinking once we got past the homestudy, I was SO glad to be beyond the point where it was all up to us to move things along and finally to the point of just letting God take care of things. And the homestudy was so NOT what I thought it would be! It was much easier and the SWs were more laid back.

DON"T go too crazy cleaning before the homestudy. BUt I know it made me feel good to clean well before the SW came. They didn't even check our medicine cabinet (but I MADE them look there!), fridge or anything! Be sure your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors are up and you have enough.

After that point, when we weren't busy with profiles and paperwork all the time, I didn't know what to do w/ myself during the wait, so my nesting instinct kicked in BIG TIME. I read TONS of baby books and child development and raising the adopted child books. I hit resale shops and all the baby stores, planning what I would buy and researching thing so I would know what I wanted. I registered for gift items.

I spent time w/ my friends' kids and nieces to "practice".

I know I obsessed about things, and that's fine. Pregnant women do that too! Be sure to make time to exercise a little - you need a stress buster right now! And find adoptive parent friends to talk to - they can really understand where you are right now.

I second the calls coming at crazy moments - I swear I'd think about it 23.7 hours a day, and every time the phone rang, I'd get the nervous sweats and shakes. Program your cell phone so the agency (and the SWs cell phone) has a specific ring. The call will probably come when you least expect it.

Try to get some sleep - you'll need to store it up for those sleepless nights when the baby is crying and you're up feeding/changing/walking/rocking (they're FABULOUS! I miss them already- no joke).

Good luck! Wishing you a speedy recovery!

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by solarscarlet

Hi everyone...It's Offical !! As of Monday, we are offically waiting & our Profile Book will now be shown to pbmoms!! I know that I have just boarded the emotional roller-coaster, but it has taken us so long to get to this point...that we are excited, but nervous. What have you done(did you do) to keep you busy during your "waiting period"?? I find myself thinking about the child we will adopt..wondering how long I will have to wait, what bmom will be like, what she will look like, picking out a name? Have any of you done this? I feel as if I am starting the process of becoming obsessive. On another note, we are having our h/s updated while we are waiting & a meeting scheduled for Sunday in our home with sw. Can you tell me the things they look for? We were originally going to our county to adopt, but decided to switch to a private agency, so I am not sure if they look for anything different. Do I need to clean like a "mad-woman" (which I do anyway), but do I need to get behind every piece of furniture, the refridgerator, oven, etc?? See...I am already becoming crazy...AAAHHHHH!!
Wish us luck, Solarscarlet

First off... Good luck!!! ANd congrats on becoming an officially waiting family. The wait is pure rollercoaster so all I can say is hang on for the ride. During our first wait, I mostly obsessed about it, but we tried to make the most of what we saw as our last days as a family of two. We travelled and just enjoyed the things that we knew would take a backseat for at least awhile when we had wee ones in the house.

We did talk about names ~ it was a good way to keep me hopin' on the longest of days ~ although we held loosely to our choices as we wanted to include our child's first family in the decision if they wanted to.

We also slowly but surely put the nursery together, just the basics that we would need when our child was finally home.

We did LOTS and LOTS of reading, about parenting, about adoption, and worked hard to strengthen our lives, especially spiritually for the new experience of parenting.

As for the homestudy... it is all about finding out what kind of family you are, not how clean your house is. If you're like me though, you'll clean, just because someone is coming over. The SW will want to see that your home is a safe, adequate but mostly loving place for a child to grow up.

Again, best of everything on this journey... hoping your child joins you soon...

[maxkinzie]

Hi,
We finally sent out our profiles and were told by the agency to expect a 6-18 month average wait just for a match. Imagine our suprise when 2 months to the day we got a call that a baby girl had been born that morning and if we were interested get to GA NOW! Coincidentally, I finished my final exams for my degree the night before, about 12 hrs before they called!!

What I had done and I'm glad I did was have the basic packed and ready, just in case. Took a lot of pressure off when you have hours to prepare. I had a plastic container full of clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles etc, good thing because I WASNT' thinking clearly after they called

max

[definitelyjulia]

Congratulations!!!! Boy do I remember all those feelings! Try not to stress too much about the homestudy. I've probably said this before but one thing we learned going through ours is that it's really about red tape more than anything. Our social worker had a set of questions that she just had to run through and most of them we had answered on our questionare they had sent to us. She didn't white glove our house either. I was going to do the same thing and clean out closets etc. but my husband brought me to my senses before I got too nuts. LOL All I have to say is THANK GOD she didn't look in our garage! LOL

How I dealt with the wait before matching was to stress like crazy, read everything online about adoption I could, started buying some of the necessity baby stuff that was neutral and prayed a LOT! Now that we've been matched and the baby is due next month and there's not alot left to do I find myself still trying to learn the very valuable lesson of letting go of the things I have not control over and trying to be as patient as I can possibly be. I'm just starting to feel less frantic and relaxed about the process and it's so wonderful.

So if there is one thing I can recommend doing it would be to take care of yourself and enjoy this time. You're in the process of becoming somebody's Mommy!

Congrats and good luck!
Julia