[fwellers]

We are both 48 years old. Been married for 14 years, no children.
Is it possible for us to adopt domestically or are we too old ?

Does it matter which agency we go with for the age requirement and if so, are there any recommendations ? We live in Virginia.

Thanks for any advice in advance.

Floyd.

[bohtieque]

I don't have a specific agency for you--I don't live in Virginia, but I can tell you that, yes, you can adopt. Lots of potential birthmothers are looking for people like you who have some life experience and will be great parents because of that experience.

Some agencies DO have upper limits set by age, but I checked your state, and after a quick search, I found others that had no upper age limit set--plus, you really don't need an agency for anything besides the home study, for that matter.

Good luck!

[fwellers]

Thanks Bohtieque,

I have been looking all morning. It seems that Virginia has no upper age limits. So the limit would be with the agency and or the birth parents.

You say I don't need an agency. I read that I can just get an adoption lawyer too. But aren't I safer in going with an agency that has a known good reputation ?

I think I need to find out how I can get a good recommendation for either an agency or a lawyer.

btw, I read that some agencies have their own special foster care, where they keep the newborns for a few months. This way, there is very little or no chance that the birth mother can change her mind by the time you are referred. that seems interesting also.
It's just finding the right people to help us that is daunting.

[bohtieque]

I did say you didn't need an agency, but I was just telling you that so that you understood all your options. Personally, I'm signed up with an agency. I really don't mind paying them a bit to do the leg work for me--I also like the safety that I have with mine. I didn't pay anything upfront, besides a home study feed and won't need to pay anything until we bring the baby home. Some agencies will ask for a fee that is non refundable before they'll begin matching you--and a lot of people have had problems with that.

Some say that it's faster and cheaper to use a facilitator or a lawyer--so that's why I mentioned them. On the other hand, based on the information I've gotten from other adoptive parents, I think my agency will probably cost about the same and have a similar wait time as the aforementioned options.

Lots of agencies in states where there is a longer wait for termination of parental rights (TPR) suggest using cradle care. It does protect you from becoming even more emotionally tied to the baby during what could be a 30-day wait (I couldn't find Virginia's requirement there, but it does vary from state to state).

Why not just post a request here for recommendations in your area? This post is titled "Parent Age Requirement," but if you posted a message titled something like "Agency Recommendation for VA" you'd probably get a lot of good advice via PMs. Oh, and I talked to people in my community about adoption, found out who had done it and talked to them...that helped.

[mommieof2cuties]

Originally Posted by fwellers

Thanks Bohtieque,

I have been looking all morning. It seems that Virginia has no upper age limits. So the limit would be with the agency and or the birth parents.

You say I don't need an agency. I read that I can just get an adoption lawyer too. But aren't I safer in going with an agency that has a known good reputation ?

I think I need to find out how I can get a good recommendation for either an agency or a lawyer.

btw, I read that some agencies have their own special foster care, where they keep the newborns for a few months. This way, there is very little or no chance that the birth mother can change her mind by the time you are referred. that seems interesting also.
It's just finding the right people to help us that is daunting.

There is a memeber on her name Kerri that I think could help answer your question. I believe that her Pbaby is in that fostercare that your talking about until all the rights and paper work have been done. Personally I couldn't handle not have the newborn home with me...and I am will to take the risks because in the end it is about the child and even if you only loved that child for a day, week, etc it is that love and caring that makes adoption wonderful.

God Bless,
Summer

[akcskye]

I just wanted to chime in and re-inforce what the others are saying.

It really does depend upon who you are going to use to adopt.

I live in Oklahoma, and going through the state DOES give an upper limit in age...for the reasons of wanting their adoptive parents to be able to have a reasonable life expectancy.

There is a sibling group we're being considered for who is wanting to be adopted by the oldest one's foster family.

The oldest boy is 16, and his brother is 11.

His foster family is okay in age to foster, but not to accept an adoptive placement. Plus, the fmom has some health issues that might not help the situation.

I personally feel that if the health issues AREN'T that big an issue, they SHOULD be allowed to adopt them because they LOVE them (the boys love the ffamily and likewise), but we're ready to possibly be these boys' parents if it doesn't work out.

It's sad...but it does happen. You'd just have to check with who you're going through to see what the requirement is.

BTW: I am 32 and hubby is 43...no bios, and married 11 years...so we're "kind" of in the same boat...but I think my age helps things...or at least it will as we get older if we wish to adopt again.

Best of luck!