[waiting4myfamily]

We are scheduled for our first home visit next week. What should I expect? How should we dress? What should I look out for? How many questions can I ask without looking pitiful!?

Thanks!

[etaag]

Oh my, I didn't worry that much about it. I was dressed very casual, I doubt I even had on shoes. And asked every question that popped into my head. I would think the more questions, the more interested and serious you are. You want to be true and natural. RELAX and just be yourself!

Our homestudy was done by a very nice lady. She made us feel very comfortable, like we could talk about anything and everything (and we pretty much did!)

Congratulations
and
Good Luck!

Melissa

[Lovebug]

Our first homevisit was very casual, too. Our SW is a wonderful woman. SHe couldn't wait to see us and our son and spend some time with him. I remember her asking basics like his height/weight and asking to see his medical card. We went through a typical day of how much formula he drank, how he was tolerating it, and so on. Very basic stuff. I'm sure yours will be great!

Good luck!

--Renee

[blessedbybug]

Our first home visit our SW came in jeans. We were in khakis so we didn't feel uncomfortable at all. It was what we would wear to welcome any new person into our home. It set the stage though for a casual, low stress and rather enjoyable time.

Just be yourselves, be ready to talk about yourself and each other, and yes, ask questions!!! This is as much your time to get info as the adoption workers.

Enjoy it!!!

[StorkWatcher]

Hi! We dressed in khakis, SWs wore casual pants office attire all times.

It's MUCH less than we anticipated! Ask ALL questions you have, while you have the chance!

They didn't check our closests, fridge or cabinets. I even made ours look up inthe high cabinets so she could see we'd moved the chemicals/medicines out of reach. Basically, they just did a walk though the living areas to be sure we had enough room for a child, a bathroom, and a safe home.

They did ask about #/locations for carbon monoxide and smoke detectors (check with your local fire dept or on a package for recommendations. We have one smoke each floor, one CO2 in basement near furnace and in hallway by bedrooms) and fire extinguishers (one each floor, plus 1 in kitchen).

They did ask where the space for the child would be. At the time, we hadn't converted the spare bedroom into a nursery, but that was fine. They just want to be sure you have enough space per child.

We had dogs and sent them to "grandma's" for first visit, just so they wouldn't be clamoring for attention the whole time, but didn't bother to send them away for the other 2 visits.

We have livestock, so one SW checked the barn to be sure there wasn't dangerous farm equipment lying around.

Most of the time, we answered any questions she had about our profiles and dear birthmother letter. She looked over our scrapbook. We talked a lot about what type of relationship we were hoping for and open to with the birthfamily - open/semi-open and what we would commit to doing (visits/sending letters, etc). And she asked us what our fears were (if any) about openness, so we could talk about what typical relationships are really like and dispel some of the myths.

The SW also wanted to know how and when we would plan to talk to our child about adoption.

We asked more questions about the state laws and how parental rights termination would work. We also asked how the process would go after we were approved and waiting and when we were matched, what we could expect before and when the child was born, as far as our contact w/ the agency and birthfamily.

Good luck!!! Once you get through the visit, it seems to be such a HUGE relief!!!

[NJNative]

Take a breath! Wear whatever you would normally wear and no, they won't look in the closets. (Mind you, that didn't stop me from cleaning every closet, drawer and cabinet in my house before she came!) We also baby-proofed the house before she arrived as well, since we were getting a mobile 10 month old baby.

One nice touch is to provide coffee, tea and some coffee cake. Our social worker enjoyed that. And yes -- I even baked the cake. Talk about overachievers...LOL.
But relax...most social workers are very friendly and will put you at ease.

Good luck!

Robin

[mommamarci]

I made cookies. I decided the house needed to smell nice. (You know, kind of like when you have an open house trying to sell it. Realtors suggest cookies to make it smell nice.) Well, I got started and realized I had no sugar, so I rushed over to the neighbor's house to borrow some!! Ours was completely laid back. She asked about smoke / carbon monoxide detectors and fire extinguishers, but did not even look at them. She did a quick walk through but again, no closets, cabinets, drawers, etc. were opened. Did not have the house baby proofed and she didn't care. She had a 10 month old and told us she did not start baby proofing until the baby started crawling. She wanted us to ask questons. Kept telling us she knew we had more and keep asking. She was super nice and it was very easy.

[maxkinzie]

to just be ourselves, that's what she wanted to see. She said that to go overboard on cleaning, dressing up etc makes it seem like something is being hidden. She wanted to see our day to day imperfections to determine if we had work to do before a child was placed.
.
Babyproofing- she wanted to know what our plans were, smoke, CO2 detectors, fire escapes, we were to think of her as an ally in the process, not as an authority sent to judge us. She did however say if any red flags went up along the way she'd work with us to try and correct them, and lastly but most importantly:BE HONEST (don't hide stuff or lie) that dishonesty was a sure fire ticket for 'rejection',

max

[yusen]

Our First Home-Study was with a Wonderful lady,, We were dressed casual as herself,, She asked, since we have a tri-level home, if we had smoke detectors on each floor ( which we do and Cheked the night before ),, She asked if we Owned any guns ( which we do-not ),, She walked thru the house,, I think she may have ran her hand up the stair-case looking for dust on her way up,, SHe cheked each bedroom,, and asked if we were planning to convert our Bonus-room into a 4th bedroom,, She asked questions such as where do we keep Cleaning products,, Prescription Medicines,, etc.. All-in-All It went wonderfully,, Jsut be yourself, and like suggested before do-not hide anything,, If you have a Great Home-study Agency that may see a potential Black mark towards your papaerwork,, hopefully they would talk to you about it, and you can make future adjustments from there,, before your second Visit...

Good Luck

[bohtieque]

I can confirm--home study visits are NO BIG DEAL! We really tried to clean most of the house, although I noticed tons of things we could have done but didn't immediately before the visit.

Here's the thing our SW told us: As long as there are no maggots on the dishes in the sink or magazines, newspapers and various junk piled and stacked on every surface, he could care less--he was just looking for a safe environment. He said he figured we'd like to be treated the same way he would like to be treated in his office, which, he says needs a little cleaning, itself

[KEVINISHOME]

I read this post, just getting familiar with posting. I wanted to give SOME feedback as to what questions I prepared. But, as I reflect on the REALITY of what we thought our first visit would be like and what it was like... I am just sad.

NOT, to say that first visits are sad. Heck, my entire situation is sad. But, I know that for our first visit the foster mother staged a scene where we were to see "how much they loved and wanted the child themselves....we could go find another." To think that we too, were anxious as were and are you all and that is what we were to walk into.

I guess, in an effort to draw back to the original write. Be yourself, be happy and walk away... BLESSED. The first visit is the hardest...in a good way for most.

[mom2justynsarah]

Originally Posted by waiting4myfamily

We are scheduled for our first home visit next week. What should I expect? How should we dress? What should I look out for? How many questions can I ask without looking pitiful!?

Thanks!

Don't call yourself pitiful! You are asking legitimate first time nerve wracking questions. LOL!

I want to applaud you for choosing adoption as a way to create your family. I am an adoptive mom to my beautiful daughter Sarah. I also have a bio son who is seven.

Adopting my daughter has been one of the most rewarding and miraculous things that has ever happened to me (aside from the birth of my son).

There really isn't anything in particular to look out for. I know this sounds cliche, but just be yourself. The bottom line is finding a good home with loving parents.

[4baby02]

I wore sweats. I heard it was no big deal and not to stress over cleaning. I did clean, however saw lots of dust bunnies when we were doing the tour.

Our SW told us she wanted to see us in our natural light so be ourselves.

[StorkWatcher]

Hi! I don't know what day your home visit is this week, but I wanted to say Good Luck! Try not to stress too much.