[BlessedBe]

Everyone, whether they know we adopted DS or not, says he looks just like me. I'd really never thought about it, but I guess he does "favor" me a bit.

But, whenever people say that - it kind of gets away with me. It's like they think I want to hear that and I don't. I don't search DS's physical features to feel a sense of him belonging to me - I feel it in my heart. When we decided to adopt, I couldn't have cared less if our child would have a resemblance to us. Just hope he doesn't have my nose!

I'm afraid of how he's going to handle people saying that when he gets older if still looks a bit like me. I want him to be proud of his beautiful eyes and hair because he inherited them from his birthmom and birthfather, not us!

It's funny how these small things become an issue after adopting. Glad we're open, honest, and have a sense of humor.

[athena09]

I am an adoptee and people have always said they see the resemblance between me and my dad. Sometimes I just said "Thanks" other times I laughed and said I am adopted but thanks. I have never been ashamed to tell anyone I am adopted but my Aparents are my real parents, the only ones I've ever known.

[NJNative]

My son and I get it that comment fairly often and it's kind of our own private joke. We exchange a glance, say "thanks" and leave it at that.


Robin

[Guspiv]

LOL! We get that comment all the time. Truth is Gav does look like a mixture of us both. When we first started getting it from family and friends it was a bit frustrating because I felt like it was what they thought we wanted to hear. Then strangers would say it all the time. We did start to realize that he looks a lot like us.

I never thought about how he would respond if people said that to him when he's older. I know I hate it when people say I look like my mother (we look so much a like that when I meet people she knows that I have never met they ask me if she's my mom). I always hated it as a kid. Knowing Gav's personality now, I know he'll be on the smart alec side and say something like "that's how much you know, they adopted me!"

[momofmykids]

With seven adopted kids, not ALL of them are going to look like us, but a couple do...they really do. Especially our oldest. He looks and acts so much like dh that it's almost scary sometimes!

[sheduma]

When I was in elementary school (can't remember which grade, maybe around 4th or 5th,) there was this boy that had been adopted as an infant. His mom later had a biological son. Most kids at school knew about this kid's adoption, but some did not I guess, because some well-meaning classmate told him that his little brother looked "just like" him. He just smiled and said "thanks," but it was uncomfortable for the rest of us.

[blessedbybug]

BlessedBe ~ I could have written your post! Since Bug was about 3 months old people have been saying that to me. Like you, at first it felt to me like they were just trying to make me feel better. Needless to say, I was oversensitive.

But on our last visit, Bug's first mom and first gma both said separately they thought this too, even marveled at how she has my complexion (light) and hair (fine), not at all like her first mom. After that, I took a good look at Bug and though "okay... she is beautiful". I just really bring her beauty back onto her first mom, always wanting to give her the credit for the beautiful little girl to whom she gave life. I now see it as the biggest compliment in the word.

Like you, wanting her to look like me has never been an issue. It is a strange, strange comment because I don't want to tell everyone she's adopted but I definitely don't want to try to pass her off as my bio child, not at all! She is blessed to have beautiful first parents...

[McNally720]

Since Meg is a red head, her hair and where she gets it from has been a huge topic of conversation from the get go.

We tend to ignore the question about where she gets it from and just say thanks (to strangers). I suppose when she's old enough we'll have to make sure the she knows it up to her to tell people what she wants them to know.

As it turns out, she gets it from her bfather, and my husband is a red head too. So when she's with just me, and people ask if she get's it from her dad, I truthfully say yes! I can also say, "She has red hair just like her daddy".....because they both do. I also sometimes reply,"She's our little Irish Baby" and leave it at that. I don't avoid the fact that she's adopted, but does the Greeter at WalMart need to know that?!?!?

It amazes me how interested strangers are in the genetics of the children they pass on the street!

[mamabee]

We get the same reaction too all the time and it doesn't bother me a bit. I think it is humerous because remember sometimes spouses even start looking like each other......Just except it as a compliment!

[Lovebug]

We are in the same boat...DS looks sooo much like DH that he calls him "mini-me". I just add it to one more reason how he was meant to be our son!

--Renee