[ajjhmf]

I'm up ridiculously early today and caught this on IMDB's new site.

(I THINK I can post the link, if not, sorry.)

http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2006-04-05/#2

Jenny

[pez collector]

Jenny-

How sad! So many people just do not "get" it. They talk so casually about adopting a child.
Thanks for the link, it worked!

[JLyle]

What a moron (Ashton Kutcher, I mean). In case others are unable to get to the link above, here's the story:

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have slammed rumors they are expecting their first child together, but admit they may consider adoption. The pair, who wed in September last year, have been plagued by reports they are trying for a child, but Kutcher insists they are not true. He says, "She's not pregnant. There was a rumor about a year ago, but it is not true. "(A baby) could be in the plans. Everybody's adopting babies now, that's the new thing. "I feel like just having one would be weird. It's unconventional to have a baby just now, you've got to adopt one from Cambodia or something."

[spaypets]

LOL! Who knew I was such a trend setter! I mean I adopted, which has suddenly become chic. I adopted from India, a country/culture that has become fashionable (look at all the Indian-inspired fashions!). And I chose a name for my daughter, which a few years ago was like, 700th most popular and now is like 7th.

Here I thought I was pretty original and it turns out, I'm a leader...as my daughter says, "Don't copy me!"

(said with tongue firmly in cheek)

[thisisapain]

I have say, I think it's kind of sad that people have to go to such great lengths to get a baby and that there aren't any children over here available.

Also, for Ashton and Demi - I don't know how old Demi is, but I sure hope the marriage lasts. I think adoption brings a normal curiousity that can effect a child and to bring divorce and another nationality into the mix can be a lot to handle for a person. I hear of many adoptee's feeling as though they've been "disregarded". For a child from another country - that could be like 3 issues in one.


I wonder how many woman can't conceive because of the years they've been on birth control - stunned/froze their reproductive system.

[ajjhmf]

Spay, you trend setter! I should have known you started all this.

[Vogi2002]

Originally Posted by thisisapain

I wonder how many woman can't conceive because of the years they've been on birth control - stunned/froze their reproductive system.

Please be respectful how you talk about some woman who can't concieve. I haven't heard of any studies confirming birth control can cause infertility, but most women I know (including myself) have went through torturing themselves about "what if" that is what caused it. It brings a lot of pain to us, and a casual comment like that can hurt the most. I do not mean to bash you, as I hope you did not mean it harshly, but it is such a sensitive topic for many of us here.


Now, the Ashton Kutcher thing, oh my gosh, most of these people who think it's so "in" to adopt, will probally get knee deep in the paperwork and counseling and bail out (of course most have personal assistants to do it all for them too though). I think it's sad that they think of it is as the "latest fav"....adoption can cause a lot of wounds for the child if the parents are not 100% ready for the discussions/issues that they will/may have.

Natalie

[crick]

Runyan...I understand your point..and I also understand the point made about the birth control. I don't think she meant it in a "blaming" way, kwim? More that for years the medical industry provided birth control without realizing that there might be a lot of other affects from it. I wonder about that myself, not that I blame myself or think people are saying "well you took birth control so if you can't conceive, too bad for you." I do wonder though if there are studies affecting fertility from birth control. Would be nice to know I think.

As far as Ashton's comment...he is a comedian of sorts so I think it's his attempt at being funny. Failed, of course, but think he was being sarcastic?

I don't know...all this talk recently about celebs adopting...the media just pounces on it and makes a mockery of something that's so personal and special to all of us.

[Vogi2002]

Crick- I totally agree with you and do think she meant it this way, I should have been more clear about that. I guess some people are ultrasensitive to this topic, I actually am not really, but have heard people "blame me" for my infertility because I took birth control. I do think though that some people have a tendency to suggest this without realizing the pain it may cause.... (of course my family is Catholic so you can imagine what comments I heard about birth control)

Now, I wonder all the time if there are such studies. If there are and we do not know about it well let me tell you how mad I would be. If there are studies proving this then we need to KNOW this is a side effect. It's almost like the tobacco industry and not telling people about the effects of smoking....

Natalie

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by thisisapain

I wonder how many woman can't conceive because of the years they've been on birth control - stunned/froze their reproductive system.

Um... not to be difficult, but as someone who is infertile, I have spent much time asking questions about "what if" this or that about whether or not I am the CAUSE of my infertility. I've never taken birth control, EVER, and in fact, if I had in my teen/20's it might have preserved some of my fertility. I will never know. But it's taken me awhile to come to terms with it all. Hindsight is what it is, why go here?

I don't believe there is any one study that substantially confirms this statement, and without it, it could/can be hurtful to those who might be dealing with infertility. May I ask that you speak gently about these kind of issues?

And I'm still wondering what this has to do with Demi and Ashton...

[blessedbybug]

It really makes me sad that some people take this whole process so lightly. It has truly been a life changing experience on so many levels for me and my family. I do hope that if they make this decision to adopt, that they won't be treated differently, that they will have to experience all the we have to bring our children home.

[AdrienneG]

Originally Posted by thisisapain

I wonder how many woman can't conceive because of the years they've been on birth control - stunned/froze their reproductive system.

A high percentage of women do not have good viable eggs to get pregnant with when they are 40 years old and older. This is why women who are trying to conceive at that age opt to get fertility help.

You cannot freeze or stun your reproductive system. I had to laugh at that statement cuz I'm a 31 year old woman who never conceived. My brand of birth control up until I decided to try to conceive in my 20s? Latex.

So much for your theory. I just wanted to let you know that your theory isn't anywhere accurate.

[JLyle]

Originally Posted by crick

As far as Ashton's comment...he is a comedian of sorts so I think it's his attempt at being funny. Failed, of course, but think he was being sarcastic?

On further reflection, I have the feeling you're right. It does seem to be the case that adoption has become a "trendy" thing to do among the Hollywood crowd, and he may have been poking fun at that in a roundabout way.

It doesn't change the fact that -- especially when taken out of context -- it came off as a foolish and insensitive thing for him to say.

[thisisapain]

Hello - I, in no way, meant to "bash" anyone. I'm blessed to be adopted and can somewhat understand the frustration my mother went through. I know how threatened she seems to be when she can't provide me information re: my birthparents. She didn't care about that info- she just wanted me. She had a tipped uterus - apparantly that's why she could never conceive.

Birth Control never went well with me - probably never gave it a fair shake - made me extremely depressed and moody. Luckily, I never had problems conceiving and I've wondered if it's because I didn't use it.

Personally, I know a lot younger people that have had a lot of problems. I can understand it when you get older re: the egg production. I guess the 20's are the best years to conceive.

Off the topic, I heard now they are taking Splenda off of the shelves because people's stomachs are hurting from it. How long has that taken? SHouldn't that have been figured out and tested before?

I don't claim to be a scientist or a reproductive expert in any way, but it just seems that with a great majority of people on birth control I've got to wonder if it has done more harm than good to the long term affect of some woman. I'm not even putting in to account "real" unfertile woman w/o eggs. . . Maybe because birth control is such a money maker for the drug companies, maybe they wouldn't dare come out with that type of information.

I think if any loving people are able to adopt or afford the IVF - good for them. I know how much love children can be to a person/family.

Sorry if I stepped on anyones toes - didn't mean it in a bad way - it's just something I've always wondered. As I said - my "feelings" - not proven fact.


Hugs and Best wishes to all.
Holly

[AdrienneG]

Holly,

I don't feel bashed at all. I think you may be misinformed on what infertility involves.

My cousin had 2 children and she has a tipped uterus. . . not to say that it wasn't how your mother's experience was in conceiving.

"Real" infertility can involve everything from physical reasons you cannot conceive--no uterus--no ovaries--a blockage of some sort in the passageway to the ovaries via the fallopain tubes.... sperm is no good in shape, speed, function

Or it can be, the eggs are not viable, fallopian tube is curled into itself, fallopian tube is closed completely or partially, allergic reaction to husband's sperm that causes body to kill his sperm, being born with an uterus that is too small, or shaped in such a way it makes it hard for the egg to implant.

Birth control is not an accurate name for "The Pill" nor is there studies or research that I know of that says the Pill used long term the reason why women are having trouble conceiving.

Birth control includes condoms, diaphraphm, cervical cap, IUD, etcetera...

If you are talking about the Pill, do your research on its impact on fertility-- there are studies saying it preserves fertility..you can check out the info.

Anyone who cannot conceive or has trouble conceiving are considered infertile..its a very real thing.

By the way there are lots of women like me who haven't been on the Pill for years who have trouble conceiving.