[BlessedBe]

Have you heard of this family? They have three shows on TLC and DHC (14 Children and Pregnant Again, Raising 16 Children, and 16 Children and Moving In).

If you haven't yet heard of them, they're a couple who, due to religious beliefs, have decided to give birth to 16 children. The shows are a type of reality series that discusses their daily schedules and their buddy system (the older children pair up with a smaller child to help them get dressed, potty, etc.), how they feed that many children (food bill is $1500 - $2000 a month), and the new house they've built (that's about 7000 sq. ft.) to accommodate such a large group.

I have been somewhat addicted to their situation, well more curious than anything really. And I love watching their shows - TLC is even sending them all to the Grand Canyon this summer.

I can't help but be sad though, because they continue to have so many children I look at their situation and their resources available to them to support a family of that size and can't help but to think about how many waiting children in foster homes they could be giving a permanent home to. I know they shouldn't adopt "just because they should or could" but bringing SO many children into the world when there are so many needing permanent, loving, stable homes is, well, ridiculous!

The more I watch the more disenchanted I become with them!

Does anyone else watch???

[sadiegirl]

Call me cynical, mean, whatever, but what bothers me most about "how many kids they have" is that there is NO WAY they can spend time with each of them equally. Someone is missing out and that's just wrong, I think.

I also think the buddy system pushes the parenting role onto the older ones; now I know it teaches them responsibility and stuff but I just don't agree with it.

I also understand the religious aspect of having so many children but there *IS* NFP, although I imagine mom is too tired to even chart herself!

JMHO

[sadiegirl]

Blessed,

When is this on, b/c I'd like to watch it!

[BlessedBe]

Sadie,

16 Children and Moving In is on TLC on April 16. Raising 16 Children is on DHC on April 2, 4:00 p.m. eastern.

The DHC has lots of info on their page about them and they also have their own website.

I agree with you completely that these children aren't getting the attention they deserve and the older children spend their days doing chores and looking after a younger Duggar. Michelle, the mom, passes off the baby at 5 months when she weans them.

It's like I can't stop watching them and reading about them. I do wish I could get inside Jim Bob and Michelle's heads to see what in the world is going on up there!

[BlessedBe]

Oh, btw, she weans at 5 months so she can start trying to get pregnant again.

[redhedded]

I have seen them on morning TV but have never seen their program. Well, honestly, I have issues with this but will keep it to myself except to say, Sadie, you said it best:

NO WAY they can spend time with each of them equally. Someone is missing out and that's just wrong, I think.

On a sidenote, did anyone see the program My Skin Could Kill Me, about two sets of sisters with a rare genetic skin condition? It was sad but the most inspiring incredible story I have ever seen. The parents were amazing; the children were courageous and lovely. Talk about strength perserverance and admiration; I was in tears. My darling babe wanted to talk extensively about the condition and their skin, dangers, appearance etc then said, "when I become a doctor, I would like to find a way to help them."

[MollyMo]

My understanding is that in this family, the father is the Governor of Arkansas - is that correct? Where do they get their $$ for 7000 sq foot house and 16 kiddos??

[redribbonrose]

My understanding is that in this family, the father is the Governor of Arkansas - is that correct?

I don't think so? I think they owned a car dealership at one point. The cool thing I want to point out is that they are on no state aid and they have no debt.

But I agree with everyone else, it's hard to imagine them being able to spend time with the children on any kind of individual basis.

Aren't all the children named with a "J" name? Beautiful children! I cried a lot when I watched the first show, 14 children and pregnant again. I kept sobbing, "why can't I just have one!" Poor dh wouldn't let me watch the show next time he saw it on.

[BlessedBe]

Jim Bob was a state representative and he's interested in running for the state Senate this year.

Jim Bob makes his money from real estate investments. They're also debt free - if they don't have the money to pay cash for something, they don't get it.

But, I'm also sure they're getting some extra money coming in from TLC/DHC these days!

[ggman]

I will play the devil's advocate at this point--

Let me start off by saying that I have NOT seen the show, BUT I LOVE large families. My dad was one of 8 (which I will grant you is not the same as 16!) but it's fantastic to have tons of aunts and uncle and cousins.

If they can afford it, and it works for them-- more power to them! Would I choose to give birth to or adopt 16 kids? Probably not, but that's because I would pull my hair out.

And you mentioned that they are religious-- the Bible does say that children are a blessing from the Lord....

[almab]

Large families can be a real blessing. I have an aunt who had 11 children. And the older ones helped with the younger ones. There wasn't resentment. Now that they are grown they help each other out. They are a very loving close family, similar to the Duggars. More power to them!

[momofmykids]

I have a large family. We have 8 children and I would LOVE to have 16! I'm not too sure about their buddy system, as I feel it is my responsibility to raise my kids. My older kids do help out with the younger ones when we need them, but a younger child is not considered their responsibility. My children are very close and for the most part very well behaved.

I've had the amount of time discussion on another board. I was an only child and didn't get as much one on one time with my mom that my kids get with me. Sure, they'd get more if we had less children, but they get lots of attention, and they have each other!

I do agree with op's view on so many waiting children. I would be thrilled to see the Duggars adopt a few.

I love their debt free lifestyle! DH and I are debt free except for our mortgage and it's an awesome way to live!

[allanacw]

I had a bit of a different take on this.

I absolutely agree that with that many children, they may not be getting attention equally and that responsibility is foisted on the older kids. But at the same time, of all the larger families I've seen (some with only 4 children, and not sixteen) they're in the top of the heap. The systems in place were incredible, of course, but the kids all seemed genuinely happy and content. They were very well behaved, expressed themselves well, and there was no chaos. In my mind, they seemed like a really special family.

I only have one child and wish I were as consistently patient as they are with their 16!

[crick]

My mom was one of 13 kids. They grew up with a similar "buddy system" and all contributed to the household and farm work.

They were happy, had a lot of fun and each one of them had a different relationship with their parents. I don't think any of them felt that they were missing out on special bonding time etc. and they were all close.

The 13 kids went on to have 54 kids with their spouses, and that grew and continues to grow even more. We have huge family reunions, smaller family gatherings and all the siblings from the original 13 are still very close to each other. My grandparents are gone now but I remember having special one on one moments with each of them as a child. And at that time there were around 40 grandkids.

When you don't grow up with it, I can see that people will think there's something not right about it. However, for many generations, having a large family was the norm. Just because as a society now we don't usually have that many kids, doesn't mean it doesn't still work.

Since we aren't paying for their expenses and they seem to be happy and well cared for, I don't see how any of us would have the right to disagree with their way of life. Jmo...

[Vogi2002]

I have two different points of view, we had five children in my family and we are all still VERY close, my aunt has 7 children and they are all very close. I think big families are great! Now, let me tell you my other point of view, my parents were always able to attend all of our functions and that was SOOO important to us, I don't think you would be able to do that with 16 children.

I agree about them not being able to spend time equally, my dad's mom had 12 children and we are not very close with them because they have over 100 grandchildren so they don't have time to be at all of our stuff. I think it can be a little selfish to have over 16 children, especially if they are TRYING to do this. I mean, I am not saying they have a horrible family or the children are going to be dysfunctional, but I do think that you have to think of your children before your own desires.

Now, that being said everyone has the right to what they believe. I just cannot see how the children are able to be children if they are responsible for another child. That is not thier responsibility, it is the parents. Of course many people in the "olden" days used to have 12 or more kids and people seem to be a little better adjusted than today, so maybe there is a thing to it?? ;-)

What a neat discussion by the way, very interesting!

Natalie