[MommyBear]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060323/...baby_forgotten

We live just a few blocks from the Metro line this guy was riding. What a nightmare - I bet he feels SOOOOO bad. Thank god people noticed the baby and called the Fire Dept so quickly - its been awfully cold here!

[redribbonrose]

He's an idiot! I just can't believe you can forget a child in your car and run off to catch a train. Give me a break!

He should get more than a fine, he should have to go through counseling and do lots of community service.

It makes me sick!

[Jensboys]

Red -- lol wait until you have a baby. Crazy stuff happens - its part of parenthood.

What he did wasnt smart, or great, but being a mom of 4 -- I can understand and forgive it.

Sort of like I had NO understanding of people who cause shaken baby syndrome until I had a colicky baby and hadn't slept in 6 weeks. Suddenly I UNDERSTOOD - now, doesnt mean I am going to DO it, because I have an understanding spouse, the strength to walk away etc -- but I DO understand how it happens.

Same with this guy ... I get how it can happen.


Jen

[AdrienneG]

Why is it that in many cases that are reported in the news its the father who does those things?

Not to say that moms dont get forgetful...but ummm somethings wrong with society if a number of dads are not used to taking a baby out of a car.

[redribbonrose]

Why didn't he call someone before he jumped back on the train heading back to the scene of his crime! He should have told the train conductor, screamed at someone anything instead of just jumping back on the train heading back. That to me implies he was trying to hide the fact that he left his kid.

Where we moved it gets really, really hot in the summer and we hear about kids getting left in the car and dying a lot! I'm not as forgiving as some of you might be.

I've never forgotten my dog in the car!

[celebratewewill]

i'm going to give the dude the benefit of the doubt and guess it was an honest mistake. thank god the kid was ok. everyone makes mistakes, esp once they are sleep deprived. i'm glad you've never forgotten your dog, and i hope you never make any mistakes.

[celebratewewill]

Originally Posted by redribbonrose

Why didn't he call someone before he jumped back on the train heading back to the scene of his crime! He should have told the train conductor, screamed at someone anything instead of just jumping back on the train heading back. That to me implies he was trying to hide the fact that he left his kid.

Where we moved it gets really, really hot in the summer and we hear about kids getting left in the car and dying a lot! I'm not as forgiving as some of you might be.

I've never forgotten my dog in the car!

youi know, i should just let this go, but one last thing...have you ever spent any time with a parent who lost their child, much less one due to a mistake a parent made???? i have. and trust me, they will torture tthemstelves for the rest of their lives...no need to make their lives worse by judging them and being angry at them. some compassion goes a long way.

ok, i'm done.

[redribbonrose]

Tina,

Come to my town and watch the evening news and listen the the police and reporters talk about how parents cooked their kids in the car. I don't think compasion is called for in a case of someone forgetting their child in a car, realizing he forgot her and instead of calling 911 taking a train ride back to where he left her. I have no compassion for the father only for the child.

Having a child wander away from you is completely different. That's part of having kids, the are small and move quick and boom they are out of your site. But leaving one in a car...give me a break. If he is so sleep deprived how did he remember to get on the right train.

[sadiegirl]

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt too and you know why?

After reading the link, it says the baby was taken to the hospital and reunited with her mother. How did they know she was hers? She can't talk (only 7.5 mos old) and certainly didn't have ID on her!

I am betting Dad called ahead or called mom and that's how they were reunited.

After reading the brainless mom thread, we all do strange things but we mean no harm to our child. Heck, I locked myself out of the house with my (then) 6 m.o. DS! Scary.

It's tragic what happens in your town, no question, but I do think this guy never meant to leave his daughter. I WILL say however, he was extremely lucky something didn't happen to her.

JMO

[Jensboys]

lol We'll check in again with you in 3 or 4 months.

Have you read the brainless mom's thread on all the moms that practically burnt their houses down, or forgot to buckle in their babies, or dropped them or tried to diaper their husbands Unless you have been THAT sleep deprived you really cant imagine how it affects you. I absolutely agree that the guy was brainless, but that baby could be the most loved, adored and cherished baby in the world and you have determined that the dad shouldn't be apart of her life. I dont agree with that. EVERY parent makes SOME mistakes at SOME point in their child's life. And all parents understand that. Trust me, he is going to PAY. Not only from his wife (who is probably going to castrate him ) but from his mother, his MIL, his friends, his siblings, DFS, the cops, the neighbours and of course, himself! He will pay, our judgement wont make it any worse. And of course, the baby is FINE. That makes a BIG Difference!!!

Jen

[redribbonrose]

you have determined that the dad shouldn't be apart of her life

Never, ever, ever said that! Never said that!!! That would be more harmful to the kid than what he did!

I said he needs to have to attend counseling and do community service. I did not even suggest jail.

And of course, the baby is FINE. That makes a BIG Difference!!!

Yes, thank goodness for that. That's the only reason this thread is somewhat defensive of him, because she is okay. If she had frozen to death in the car or had been cooked, the tone of this thread would have been completely different.

[mommamarci]

I once read an article about a man who forgot his daughter in the car. It was a very hot day and she ended up dying. The man said to always leave a toy or something laying on the front seat, so you will remember. At the time I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever read. However, my dh and I work different schedules and his is constantly changing. As a result, I will probably only take our child to daycare one day a week. He will be home the other days. If it is something you are not in the habit of doing, you can forget. Heck, this morning, I knew I had to stop at the post office and put bills in the mail. I pulled them out and laid them on my lap. I drove straight to work. It is just a habit. I had to turn around and run back to the post office. I would be mortified and I am not justifying his actions, but I am willing to give him a second chance. I can guarantee, he will be much more vigilant now!

[MommyBear]

Since I posted the article in first place, I should pipe up. I'm not a parent yet, but my heart has broken before when I read about parents who do forgetful things and have had children die. Yes, my heart hurts for the child, but it truly breaks for the parents left behind.

We all make mistakes. We don't have to be malicious or stupid do horrible things - sometimes the human mind just skips a beat and we make the wrong choice. Yes, in this case, the baby was fine and all ended well. But even in the cases where the babies die, although truly horrific - that child is at peace. The parent will suffer for the rest of their life. That pains me.

Who are we to judge? I often say that I am incredibly glad I am not a doctor - I make plenty of mistakes at my job (payroll) and lucky for me, it doesn't kill anyone. Will I be so fortunate as a parent? I hope to God I will.

[angelkisses0102]

I can totally understand how that poor dad forgot the baby...after living thru 23 months of sleep deprivation (among health and attachment issues with my son) I can 100% understand. He is however lucky the weather was cold...down here in Florida it happens, too often...that the children are left in sweltering cars and do die. It is typically the father because in all of the cases I have read about...it was not the 'normal routine' for the Dad to be taking baby/toddler to daycare or whatever.

We all make mistakes..not one of us is perfect...but most of us do not pay for our mistakes with our children's lives...because we are simply...lucky. And most of us don't have our mistakes broadcast on the internet for others to pass judgement on.

And Jen...100% agree on understanding why people hurt/shake screaming babies...until you live with a child that screams constantly for 11 long months...you can not understand. God knows I thought about hurting my son...but got help before.

We all make mistakes...we just hope and pray that in the process we don't harm our kids...

[angelkisses0102]

Originally Posted by redribbonrose

Yes, thank goodness for that. That's the only reason this thread is somewhat defensive of him, because she is okay. If she had frozen to death in the car or had been cooked, the tone of this thread would have been completely different.

My tone would not be different...there was a local dentist who was taking his son to work with him...the boy was an older toddler and fell asleep in the car. Dad never took him to work..so Dad gets to work, leaves sleeping son in car and a few hours later...realizes what happened. I never once condemned dad as this happened when we were in the midst of severe sleep deprivation and attachment disorder. I know that he didn't do 'it' on purpose...he was not a bad dad...he just made a dad decision. His son died peacefully...this man is in living hell...he is unable to work...even. His life is a mess.

I can still see the pictures of this man giving CPR to his son on the ground and then collapsing. He knew before he got to the car...

Now if dad had been passed out drunk...different story. This was a good dad who made a horrifying mistake...similiar to any one of us.

Karen