[P.E.Z.]

We are adopting a little girl who we were told was younger than our youngerst daughter
(Hayle born in Guatemala Aug 13 2002)
when we signed with our agency in July .
Just today we got Loida's true birthdate, Nov 6 2001
This makes her 9 months older than Hayle .
We are concerned as we have heard it is very bad to adopt out of the natural birth order.
We are in love with Loida, but truly want whats best for her .
Would it be better for her to be placed with a family where she would be the youngest ?

Has any one adopted in a situation like this , with this age difference 9 months older ?

We also have a daughter who turns 16 in May ,so up until now, the world in our house revolves around Hayle.

I am just so confused .

Thanks Paula

[Ians mom]

I dont think it would be a very big deal since they are so close together. If you are in love with both girls it would be silly, IMO, to give one up because their birthday was wrong on a form.

[rachelsmom]

We were going to adopt a younger child, our daughter is 4. But we were matched with a 12 year old! And we're excited! I think you have to go with what you really believe is the right choice, and not get caught up in conventional wisdom. If we listened to what the "world" told us - we wouldn't have adopted at all!

[mumofone]

Congratulations.....

Yes, you have to listen to your heart and do what is best for YOUR family.

[redhedded]

I would not worry. Just wanted to wish you a peaceful journey whatever your decision.

[celebratewewill]

i have no experience, but i did want to comment on what you said...you are such a MOMMY! willing to put aside your feelings for loida's best interest. imho, i think you will welcome her lovingly into your family. being so close in age to hayle, i don't think personally that it will affect either of them b/c of birth order. but do what is best for your family. you know hayle's temperment too, and either way, i'm sure there will be adjusting for both of the girls to do. they'll love each other one minute, and "hate' each other the next. just like normal siblings! good luck!!!

[NaomiNJaysmom]

Finally a topic I cant relate to.
I am one of the biological children in a family of 6. 4 of the six children were adopted. I was the oldest and when our new siblings came to live with us I was instantly the 2nd oldest. My sister is 6 months older than I am and I have a brother 6 mo younger so I was really in the middle, so to speak. Honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way!!!!! Trust me it all works out in the end. My older sister and I have a joke when people ask who is older her reply is...

I am older but she is the boss!!!

Funny but true LOL
I think no matter your position in the birth order we all find our place. I wouldn't worry about it one bit. That is coming from someone who as been there!
Good luck
Amy

[melon161]

We adopted out of birth order. We adopted my first son at brith and then a year later we adopted a 2 1/2 year old. It worked for us as in Nicolas (the older one) was used to being the oldest child (he had a baby sister in his foster home) and Asher was used to being the youngest or only one. Truly I wasn't ready for Asher to be pushed out of that stage so it worked well. The boys get along great somedays and other days they fight like brothers. LOL But they do love eachother.

Stacy