[Curvyred]

Well, as of Friday, we've had to delay our process by about 3 months. Instead of starting paperwork this October, we may have to wait until January or February.

My work has fantastic maternity leave--six weeks full pay plus several more weeks (up to 20 more weeks) at half pay. I sent a note to HR to verify that I will receive that same leave when I adopt.

Nope.

My leave for adoption consists of five days paid leave and unpaid Family Medical Leave.



Frankly, I'm stunned. I know that a lot of people have a really hard time getting benefits, but my company is usually fantastic with this stuff. They extend all benefits not only to spouses and immediate family, but to domestic partners and consider the dp's family as "immediate family" in issues of FML and illness in the family leave.

Basically, I get the same leave as the men get when their partners give birth and/or adopt. To appeal for more time off would mean that they have to provide more leave to the male employees also--not to do so would be discriminatory. At a site where the men still dramatically outnumber the women, it would be financially overwhelming for them, so I'm sure I won't be seeing a change to the policy any time soon.

Since I'm the primary wage-earner, and DH is going to be a SAHD, this means that we're going to need a few more months to save up not only the replaced income, but enough to pay for my portion of medical insurance (if I'm on unpaid leave, there's nothing for them to deduct my premiums from.) We do have significantly extended Family Medical Leave available--up to 26 weeks--but I don't think we could save that much AND still finance the adoption.

I"m so bummed.

[MMC66]

That really stinks - I would really protest this if I were you. Is it a big company - if so - go straight to the top, if not, make an appointment to see the head of HR yourself. This sort of thing makes me sick - how unfair!!!!

[LisaCA]

ugh. at least you have a week! my college didn't allow maternity leave of any kind for adoption, though after I quit they changed the policy supposedly (though it's not written down-my guess is that it's only given when a well-liked prof demands it). i didn't have tenure so I didn't have the power to negotiate.

most places view maternity benefits as a medical issue, not a regular benefit. that's where they stick you.

you might want to send a letter up the chain of command and demand that they reevaluate. dave thomas foundation has a website that should be able to help:

www.adoptionfriendlyworkplace.org

[LisaCA]

ugh. that stinks big time, but at least you have a week! my college didn't allow maternity leave of any kind for adoption, though after I quit they changed the policy supposedly (though it's not written down-my guess is that it's only given when a well-liked prof demands it). i didn't have tenure so I didn't have the power to negotiate.

most places view maternity benefits as a medical issue, not a regular benefit. that's where they stick you.

you might want to send a letter up the chain of command and demand that they reevaluate. dave thomas foundation has a website that should be able to help:

www.adoptionfriendlyworkplace.org

[Curvyred]

I may try, but I know it would be a total uphill battle. This is a big company, and I'm not sure about our site's ability to change their policy independent of the corporation. (And I'm sure as heck not going to change the policy at the coporate level--multinational corporation, not going to happen.)

We do have a $3k adoption benefit, but that's payable after finalization, which does me no good for the short term.

I think the real kicker is the same as what a lot of other people run into--maternity leave falls under medical leave. Medical leave is accesible to all employees, not just women, so it's not denying men a benefit that it provides women, just not for the same reasons. Post-birth/adoption leave is 5 days, available to all employees.

So . . .what could I possily argue that would provide me with more leave without becoming discriminatory? I would have to argue for greater post-birth and adoption leave for ALL employees, right?

Sigh. At least we have a lot of unpaid leave available, and paid medical leave IS available if the kid(s) we adopt have medical needs, which isn't out of the realm of possiblity.

Thanks for the link--I'll order up that packet.

[Emster]

Curvy--do you have saved up vacation/personal days as well to add to your 5 days adoption leave? I would think a large company would at least have those kinds of benefits--I think also Dave thomas foundation for adoption has some information about adoption friendly workplace, just look them up online.

[alwaysus]

Elijah came home on a Sunday and on Monday my husbands company made him go out of town for a week. They were very clear that he could chose not to go, but that it would not be advisable. 2 months later, his co worker's wife had a baby and they gave him a few days off. I was LIVID!!!! But, its a good job, pays well and the benefits are fantastic!
Bummer about the policy, I feel your pain!

[tjb52]

That just seems so unfair!!! I understand your explanation that it is discriminatory to men to do it any other way but that does not make it any easier to take. I understand how you feel as my husband and I are also waiting until our savings account is big enough for me to take a few months off before we submit our paperwork. It seems like a few more months should not be a big deal after the years we have already been through. But once you get the mindset that you are ready to go it is hard to have that set back. My company does not have any paid maternity leave, just the family medical leave act. They are a great company and we do get a $2500 benefit at finalization. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do with this.

Julie

[Imani68]

I have worked for a large corporation for almost 10 years and imagine my suprise, when we adopted 3 years ago, to discover that there was absolutely nothing for adopting employing...no paid leave, no adoption reimbursement. I started an employee resource group and fast forward 3 years later, we get $5000 adoption reimbursement and our company now has an 8 week paid parental leave policy that also covers adopting parents. The non-primary parent (normally the father) gets 1 week paid leave.

[waiting4jack]

I'm in the same situation. I'm a teacher and my school district allows women to use their sick time to get paid maternity b/c it is considered recovery. Some women have used over 100. I can't use even a single one with an adoption b/c I'm not physically recovering. All I get is the 12 FMLA unpaid. It stinks!!!!

[Curvyred]

Emster--yes, I have some leave that I can use. I'm actually saving a week of this year's vacation to carry over to next year.

I have the option of taking vacation time during my family medical leave--for instance, I think I could take two days vacation a pay period, enough to cover medical insurance premiums and normal withdrawals from my checks. OR, I could take the 12 weeks without pay then spread my vacation intermittently out over the next few months and have kind of a reduced schedule.

I just need to make the mental shift from thinking I had a lot of paid time off to the realization that I have less time without pay, have to save more money to do it, and will have to burn up my vacation time to do so. It's the same situation that a lot of people have to deal with--better than many actually--it's just not the situation I thought we were preparing for.

[Lovebug]

The company I was employed by when DS was born was very similar. Except I had to take all my vacation first and then the FMLA was added to that...so in 12 weeks total, I was unpaid for 9. I had benefits under my husband, so did not have to deal with that, but if so, I could have just paid the portion of them out of pocket. We had a 4000 adoption credit through them and I did not have to wait to finalize. So basically, after 12 weeks I went back to work, submitted the papers to get my allowance and once I got the check and deposited it, I quit! Lol. I am now a SAHM and love it...but I do miss my salary! Hehehe.

--Renee

[yusen]

I was also told that I will have to use up Vacation days, personal days and floaters, when we receive and accept our referral from Poland. I think it is unfair that since I cannot have biological children,, and that I want to adopt, that I do-not receive the same rights of maternity leave.

Maternity leave at my company is 6 to 8 weeks, Our first trip will consist of around 2weeks,, then 2 returning with the child/children will be another 2 or 3 weeks.
I go into work sick at times because I need to save my time for Poland,, I have 2 weeks vacation,6 sick days, 2 personal days, 1 floater,, and I have vested nearly 4 years this time around,, I started in 1997 to 2000changed careers, worked at a new place til 2002 came back to the same company,(4 years), Isnt there any type of law that can help us with adoption,, for woman that cannont conceive,, that adopt,, for us to extend the same type of Maternity benefits..?

[Lexie]

My company was the same way. Don't let them try to sell you the discrimination argument as an excuse to avoid adoption benefits . There are many companies out there that offer adoption benefits along with paid leave. The costs are minimal. Less than 1% of than population adopts. After I raised the issue at my company and began writing several executives I know educating them about the issue, they are now rewriting the policy--unfortunately it will be too late for me--but I hope it helps other families. What my company did do was to allow me to work part-time at home. I worked 40% from home for 4 months. That allowed me to keep things moving forward at work, eat and pay the mortgage, while having that critical time to bond with my baby. I only wish I was still part-time at home. Going back to work has been hard.

Definitely push your company.
Good luck
Lexie

[SavannahGirl]

I was in the same boat. My company offers a 2K adoption reimbursement but no paid adoption leave. I work for a large corp also so no hope of changing the policy quickly. Although I did write a letter expressing my opinion about the policy. I'm single and wanted to save my vacation time in case dd got sick during the year. So I took the 12 week FMLA leave in two segments. The first half when she came home and the second half during the summer. Splitting it in two made going without a paycheck a little more bearable. But it was hard. No paycheck, adoption expenses, increased medical premiums for changing from single to family coverage waiting on me to repay when I returned to work. It all seemed very unfair.

Good luck.