[sneezyone]

I found this a few months ago in my (formerly) local paper but never shared it. In retrospect, I think it sheds some light on the mysteries of social service TPRs. I found it to be well written and really interesting. Any thoughts??

To provide some context - there was a HUGE accident that tied up the major N-S highway in Seattle a year or so ago. The accident led to all sorts of big stories re insurance failure to cover victims, etc. Little did anyone know what, exactly, was going on behind the scenes...

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...andliz04m.html
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...ancher040.html

[Sleeplvr]

This is exactly what happens in CPS cases. I think the mom had her priorities wrong. She should have focused on getting her child back and not on Mike. Since Mike was still listed as the presumed father he would have never gotten custody until paternity was established. She should have cut her loses with him and pursued getting her child back. They weren’t married so why did she feel obligated to him after things spiraled out of control. Her child should have been her first priority.

I think Seattle opening court hearings to the public is a brilliant idea. It encourages them to speed up the process because it is under public scrutiny. Our DS is still in state custody and we have never been allowed in a court hearing. DH has gone each time there is a hearing and he was supposed to be given an opportunity to speak with the judge privately. He sat outside for hours waiting his turn and never got a chance to do so. The judge just made a note in the case file that he was there. I guess it didn’t matter because DS’s parents never showed up for hearings in front of a judge.

The state is not supposed to hand hold people in crisis. If they are homeless, they are given a list of places where they can live. If they need drug and alcohol counseling they are given a list and they can decide which place is best for them.
The point of all these lists or information being given to them is to help them become self-sufficient. A normal person is expected to do these things on their own. The CW is not supposed to make phone calls to find a place for them to live.

Most caseplans are very simple. If your life is out of control the smallest task seems like a mountain.
They are being required to do things that we do everyday; Keep a roof over their head, maintain employment, and put food on the table. If they are a drug addict they need treatment and counseling. They also need to schedule visits with the children to maintain or build a bond. It's not hard unless you have major problems that you can't or are unwilling to resolve. I have lost a lot of sympathy for these people since I've been a foster parent. I see how the process works and it's not the states' fault most of the time. The state in most cases gives bio families too many chances.

[manni28]

I agree.

I read the article and I kept wondering: ok, when are you ( the bmom) going to look for a job? The bfather, at first, WAS trying but I didn't get that the bmom was. Anyway, the article was interesting-it shows how the system works. I believe that this( the article) will show how people are given chances to "do right" and don't which results in their children being placed, not the system purposely tearing a family apart

[alwaysus]

I agree with the above posters. The baby was born with meth in her system, thats a BIG strike 1 for me. Strike two was not ditching Mike and strike 3 is the fact that she didn't try and find a job. They gave them 15 months to get it straight and they didn't put much effort into it.
I do feel for them, but the best thing WAS done for the child. She was given a permanent, stable, SAFE home to live in.

[AdrienneG]

I read this article with my eyes filling up with tears because that is exactly what happens in the foster care system due to drugs affecting parents lives and childrens lives. I had a foster brother in the same situation.

Too many people make poor choices in life when it comes to drugs and being prepared to have and raise children.

The mother in the story was making choices for the behalf of her boyfriend and not making choices for her own behalf and her child's behalf....maybe deep down inside she knew she wasn't going to get the child back as long as she was worrying over a grown man and living homeless.

[mamacrina]

Wow. I've seen this happen in person...but having it all laid out like that takes me aback. It's very sad. For all involved.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I find this artical both sad and enlightening. Unlike the above posters, I think it humanizes the parents. It is very true that the mother could have received better benefits of she had separated from the father. BUT, when you have nothing, you cling to whatever you DO have. In this case, they had each other. As I read the artical, I thought of my son's birth parents. They too have made poor choices that leave them living on the streets. They tried to make it work with Bug's sister...but the meth came calling. I am not making excuses, but I also know that having read my son's family history, I can understand where these people may feel that drugs are the only answer. I especially was heartbroken when I read how the mother said goodbye to her daughter. We have been thru that with both of our sons birth parents. Regardless of the choices that they have made...choices that you or I may never have made...they are this child's birth parents. Without them, I would never know the love of a mother for her child. Not a day goes by that I don't hope that they are safe out there on the streets, or wonder where they are. It was a very sad and touching story.