[Lexie]

I have been overcome with the blues as of late and I was wondering if I am alone. Our baby boy is 6 mos old, a thriving, perfect baby. Smiles all the time---wonderful. Our 4 year old is a great big brother. Very little if any jealousy, very helpful. He sings to the baby all the songs I used to sing to him when he was a baby. Its the cutest thing. We struggled so hard with IF for years before we decided to adopt and the adoption has really made our family feel complete.

Why am I so blue?

I am back to work. I hate leaving the baby. I am distracted at work and I don't know why I am here---oh I remember--we need money to eat.

The baby has been up a lot at night lately--maybe I'm just tired?

I am bfeeding. Maybe my hormones are out of sorts?

Anyway---just wondering if anyone else feels this way. I feel bad for not feeling happy---when things really could not be better.

ugh.....
Lexie

[mamacrina]

I can understand. Truly. I'm sorry and I hope things look up soon. The forum, Adoptive Parents Post-Adoption Emotional Issues is very supportive and helpful in a non-judgemental way.

[ahimsa]

Lexie - I feel for you! I have been there! I send you lots of hugs!

I went through this last spring, about 3 or 4 months after my kids were placed with me. I wrote about it in my journal, if you're interested.

One of the biggest lifesavers was a book called "The Post-Adoption Blues : Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption" by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson. It is AWESOME and validated everything I was going through.

Apparently half of all biological mothers AND half of all adoptive mothers experience some type of post partum or post placement depression. I think that as adoptive moms we're even less likely to talk about it. Because we went through so much to become moms and did so so deliberately, people expect us to happy and grateful 24/7. It is a very isolating experience. If you ever need to talk or need advice, feel free to PM me.

Please take care of yourself and know that it DOES get better and it is VERY NORMAL to go through this!

HUGS!!!

[Lexie]

Thank you both for your encouragement.

[marilyna]

Lexie,
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I haven't experienced this with my 2 babies, but had a couple of thoughts.
One is that it's probably natural to feel blue when having to leave the baby to work. I think I would feel that, too.
Another thing is probably the lack of sleep. I know what I do is frowned on by a lot of people, but I have a 9 month old and a 19 month old and I get 8 hours of sleep every single night and have almost the entire time I've had them. Except the first few months with the oldest, before I learned this.
I sleep with my babies. Now the oldest one usually sleeps by himself til the wee hours of the night, then I go get him when he wakes up. The 9 month old always sleeps with me. I don't get up to feed her if she wakes up. I just feed her right in bed and she goes right back to sleep.

HTH

[Sleeplvr]

Lexie

I'm with you. I'm just flat out tired from the extended sleep deprivation. Working and taking care of babies is no joke. My babies who are now 9 & 10 months old are sleeping through the night but I use the time when they are asleep to catch up on things like laundry and cleaning house. When you work those household chores are still waiting for you. I'm struggling with balancing the chores and spending time with the babies. The babies are winning and the house is a wreck. The babies are happy and that's what important right now.

Hang in there... things will get better.

[AdrienneG]

Sleep deprivation is the reason why I ignored the parenting advice and put my baby in bed with us. I thought I was losing my mind getting up every 2 hours to feed that little thing who was going through growth spurts on top of growth spurts. I dont even remember if I did laundry or cleaned. I wouldn't be surprised if my husband took over that during that time.

Now that he is sleeping longer at a time, Ive been handling the chores much easier and if he's awake and wants me, I put him in the stroller and park it in front of the washer and dryer so I can do laundry and smile and talk to him.

Sleep deprivation is no joke. By the way he's sleeping in his crib in his room beautifully. It only took 2 days to get him out of our bed and in his own crib sleeping on his own.

[Lexie]

I'm at work at just staring at my computer. The baby is changing so fast. His little face is looking so mature now. I am looking at a pic when he was just a few days old---and now at 6 mos he looks "grown". I seem to recall being a little sad when I went back to work after I had my 4 year old. I don't remember it being this bad though. Maybe because its been so long now I don't remember.

I have been keeping the baby in the bed with us. He is just so playful when he wakes up, its hard to get him settled back to sleep. He is such a happy baby. I can't believe I feel so blue.

Thanks for the advice-
Lexie