[babyone]

Hi...we were just presented with a baby born to a mother who is mentally challenged. While there isn't any known genetic cause, it can't be ruled out either. There is no known genetic issues with the mother's family. The dad of the baby is of normal intelligence, also without any genetic history of any problems. I can't find much out there and I'm wondering if anyone else has adopted the child of a parent(s) who has mental disabilities? How are they functioning? Thanks for your help.

[mumofone]

Although we don't have any experience with this, I remember our worker talking about situations such as these many years ago when we were deciding what situations we would be comfortable in accepting.

She had mentioned that there were babies born to mentally challenged parents who did fine.

We have a lady on another board I frequent that adopted a baby girl a year ago from a mentally challenged birthmom, and the baby is right on par.

If it were me, I feel confident that I would accept the referral.

Good luck with your decision.

[Ians mom]

Our daughters birthmom is mentally challenged. Our daughter is in Kindergarden this year and her teacher says she is at the top of her class. She is already bringing home work that is at a 1st grade level.

When I was carrying our son we were told that he would be mentally retarded and have downs syndrome. The doctor even recommended that we terminate the pregnancy and "try again" . He is now a happy healthy 9 yr old with NO sign of any mental problems.

There are no gurantees with children, and it is a very personal decision each family has to make when deciding whether or not to make a match.
Good luck and God bless....I know what ever decision you make will be the best one for your family

[AdrienneG]

A family friend of mine adopted a child whose mother has cerebal palsy. This child is a happy and healthy 9 year old who does not have any mental and physical challenges. She's very smart.

[celebratewewill]

Originally Posted by AdrienneG

A family friend of mine adopted a child whose mother has cerebal palsy. This child is a happy and healthy 9 year old who does not have any mental and physical challenges. She's very smart.

well, cerebral palsy is not a genetic condition usually; it usually brought on by brain damage in utero/at birth/shortly after birth (with resuscitation, etc).

are there special considerations when adopting from a mom with mental challenges? such as a guardian ad litem or a legal guardian that has to sign with her for consent?

[Speakezswd]

I'm an SLP (Speech language Pathologist), and have been in early intervention from the beginning, in the early '70's.
Some conditons can be genetic, some are not, but you can call an Early Intervention Program in your area and investigate what parenting programs they offer, and learn games and activities, and ways of stimulating and encouraging any baby to grow and develop to their fullest potential. No baby comes with any guarentee, but you can give this baby the best chance to maximize its growth and development. That's all any of us do, with love, faith and a good sense of humor. My ason just turned 21. He's still a work in progress, but so are many of his friends (not adopted with possible problems). My son did turn out to have problems, but these days so much can be done, it's hard, but very possible, and worth it.
Susan

[redhedded]

babyone, It is important to know that if the diagnosis is Mental Retardation, there are a myriad of causes, from chromosomal abnormalities/deletions (genetics), in utero alcohol exposure, pregnancy circumstances (illness/injury, etc.), birth process itself or childhood injury/illness. MR is sometimes diagnosed very early but in some cases is not apparent until late toddlerhood when signs of regression are displayed.

If the expectant mother receives services, community living or in home, she should have a complete medical and social history, which would identify the suspected causes or presentation timeline of her disability.

To be told that there is no genetic connection may or may not be accurate if that is assumption based only on family history. Many families have genetic counseling only after having a second child who presents with the same chromosomal abnormality as the first did. While you would not be privy to her record, someone who is should be available to advise you based on her medical history. (agency, social worker, attorney)

I agree with the others; there are no guarantees in becoming a parent, no matter how you do it. However, I think a complete history is something that could be important to you if you are trying to determine your ability to parent a certain child. I worked with children/adults for 10 years with MR, Autism, Axis I diagnoses and a myriad of physical disabilities. I worked with several clients who gave birth to children; two placed their children outside of their care, and the third parented. Two of the children had no disability at last report; I am unsure about the third.

People with physical disabilities, such as Cerebral Palsy, generally give birth to children with no disabilities. However, if the expectant mother's diagnosis is Mental Retardation then you cannnot assume that to be the case.

I wish you peace on this journey. Feel free to pm me if you have specific questions.

[AdrienneG]

Originally Posted by celebratewewill

well, cerebral palsy is not a genetic condition usually; it usually brought on by brain damage in utero/at birth/shortly after birth (with resuscitation, etc).

are there special considerations when adopting from a mom with mental challenges? such as a guardian ad litem or a legal guardian that has to sign with her for consent?

I suspect that it actually can be a genetic condition. I know a family where a set of parents had 2 children and both children had cerebal palsy. They also have a cousin who has slight cerebal palsy and the cousin and 2 children have a great grandmother who had cerebal palsy.

[redhedded]

Adrienne, CP is not a genetic disease though it often accompanies brain malformations or other chromosomal abnormalities that are genetic, which explains it presentation in family members. It was once believed that CP was always a result of birth injury, though it is now believed a rather small percentage is due to such injury. CP is often a result of trauma or interference in early brain development, such as viral infection (CMV) or lack of oxygen in utero. CP often occurs in premature babies, sometimes because of brain bleeds/pressure and can occur later in those who have traumatic brain injuries or infections, such as meningitis.

edited: CP is kind of an umbrella that was once used to describe spasticity and developmental disability in those who were non ambulatory. However the spasticity is often a symptom of the specific abnormality.

[dadfor2]

a friend of mine who was adopted, her birthmom was mentally challenged and she is fine.

she was a little shocked when she finally met her, because no one told her that piece about her birthmom.

[danhanan]

I have no real experience, ho9wever, I can tell you that I know of one couple who were both mentally retarded and had a daughter who was just fine and another girl who, not only was mentally retarded and raped by a close relative and gave birth to a daughter who also was just fine.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.