[otlisa]

My husband has bipolar disorder. Any info on successful adoptions would be appreciated! ( I have read articles by Carrie Burr). Thanks, Lisa

[shy_bear]

I don't have any experience with bipolar,but my suggestion would be if a private agency won't accpet your situation look at the state you live in. When going through the state they are more accepting of things. Good luck to you!!

[lisa in venice]

I don't think it is a big deal as long as you can show that it is under control. Like any other medical condition the agency will just want to make sure it is not an issue in your day to day life.

lisa

[ajjhmf]

Well, I can't speak for bi-polar, but I have major depressive disorder with manic tendancies. I had a few more hoops to jump through, even with the state. I had to prove my depression was under control, that I was good about maintaining my medication and I had to have a full psych evaluation done by a neutral agency before approval. Even then, it was brought up again when we went to court for finalization. As you can see by my sig, everything turned out fine.

My advice is be upfront with the agency. And if you get turned down, try again with someone else. We went through the state and never tried a private agency, but our experience was good with them.

Blessings,
Jenny

[DCMomLady]

I also face the challenges of living with bipolar disorder but it was never an issue with any of the parties to our adoption. It was included in my medical history; and it was briefly discussed when I was asked about an arrest record from my distant past. It's possible that people on my reference list were asked about it, but no one ever said so. My contacts with the caseworkers and attorneys involved in our adoption spanned more than a year. Because our case was an involuntary TPR of my beloved niece, they had ample opportunity to see me living my life under very stressful conditions and to make up their own minds about my fitness to parent.

I think what really matters is whether your husband believes he can do it, and whether you have confidence in his stability. Whether or not they ask for it, these are some questions you'll want to answer for yourself:

How long has your husband been in treatment? Has he found a combination of meds that work for him? Is he committed and dedicated to staying stable by following the treatment regimen? Be honest -- how many times has he stopped taking his medications, no matter what the reason? When was the last time he was fired or changed jobs impulsively? Is he secure in his current job? Is he financially responsible? Have violence or domestic abuse been a symptom of his disorder? Have drug or alcohol abuse been part of his history? How long have you been married and how well have you adapted to the realities of living with his disorder? (Some studies show that 90% of bipolar marriages end in divorce!)

If honest answers to those questions don't scare you away from your plans to parent, then they probably won't scare anyone else either. Go for it!

DC Momlady

[BoxerLady6]

As bmom I am just curious are (were) you required to provide pbmoms with info about you or your spouses mental illness?

[DCMomLady]

If you were asking me, BoxerLady, my life is an open book to my adaughter's bparents -- bmom's my niece. They chose me to care for her baby when it was clear that she couldn't and he shouldn't. You might even say they persuaded me to become a mother. She said it was because she'd always wished I was her mother.

Not all people who suffer mental illnesses are like the ones you hear about on TV. Please don't be misled by the questions I asked Lisa to consider. Lots of us work very hard to stay healthy and lead normal lives. We have families and jobs and the respect of our friends and neighbors.

Please don't prejudge or harbor pointless fears about your child's adoptive parents. There are abundant safeguards to insure that they will be fit to love and rear your child.

DC MomLADY

[BoxerLady6]

The only reason I was really curious is that my dad is bipolar (plus my now husbands twin brother is bipolar too) and neither take their meds. It was a pretty scary life growing up with my dad.
He (husbands brother) is currently in the midst of a manic espisode and we are pulling are hair out. He is pretty bad case, on top of being alcholic. I have been reading some awesome books on the subject (if anyone likes Danielle Steel books, her son was bipolar and "His Bright Light"; a book about his life, was awesome!!) and probably know more about bipolar disorder than I ever wanted to......
So i defintely wasn't prejudging...its all around me!! Just curious!!

[DCMomLady]

I see you have experienced the uncontrolled bipolar -- not a pleasant ride to be on, I know.

DC MomLADY

[DCMomLady]

Originally Posted by BoxerLady6

As bmom I am just curious are (were) you required to provide pbmoms with info about you or your spouses mental illness?

As an amom, I'm curious. Did you give prospective aparents the information about bipolar disorder in your family?

Because evidence seems to show the genetic link that causes bipolar to reoccur in families, it seems like it would be crucial medical information when placing a child for adoption.

DC MomLADY

[BoxerLady6]

Yes, I most definetely did........ It was something I was very concerned that they know because of what they could be dealing with in the future. I was really worried it would affect them wanting to adopt my bdaughter. It running in the family is also part of the reasons we/I have decided not to have future children. Considering it runs heavyily in both me and my husbands family.