[Hopp]

I have a question for anyone with experience in this area.

We just found out that the mother to our matched birthmom has bi-polar / manic depression disorder. We are concerned. Talked to a psychologist about it very briefly tonight and she said that it was a huge concern. The dr. made an appointment to see us, but the soonest we could get in is this next Tuesday.

Our birthmom has been homeless off and on. She has 3 current children (13, 3 years, and a little baby that's 10 months). None of the kids seem to have the illness, however they do show signs of developmental delay which is obviously non-related.

1. Are there tests we can run now or after birth to determine if the desease is present?
2. What are the chances of it being passed to the baby?
3. If passed on, what are the chances of it becoming a developed desease?
4. Is this something we should consider not adopting a baby for?

We have researched on the internet, but are still feeling lost and confused. We are hurting, and feeling lots of sad emotions about this tonight. Anyone have any insights?

[Fran27]

I don't have any info to help you but sending you hugs...

[leaabc123]

Much of what we know about the brain and psychological disorders is still unknown or unsure.

There are no genetic tests for this (that I know of).

Age of onset is typically late adolescence to early 20's so the current children would be unlikely yo exhibit anything at this point.

Having a parent with this does increase the risk of a child having it. having 2 parents makes the risk higher so you would want to know the bf's history if possible.

It could also increase the chance of regular depression becoming an issue.

However, I would not let this put me off from adopting a child as the percentages (from what I remember of the research from a few years ago) are thought to be 25-30% possibility of a child developing a psychological disorder if a parent has it.

I will tell you that many children of people with these disorders are perfectly fine so you have to decide if you can deal with this.

[Kimmisue]

I have this in my family and so does my hubby. My MIL has it. She does not have major problems other than she's a HUGE packrat and avoids confrontations. She does not medicate herself, so sometimes I wonder if it was misdiagnosed. My stepfather however definitely has it. He was a nightmare. He didn't get diagnosed though until he was well into his 30s and he refused to take medicine. My brother who is his child does not have any signs of the disorder. I personally would not let it stop me because I know it can be treated with meds. I think if you educate yourself and go into it knowing what to watch for as your child grows, you would be fine. I am also the kind of person who is not afraid to put my child on meds. I am a teacher and I have seen so many kids benefit from meds. Also, I believe it is more likely to be inherited from fathers to sons. It seems to run through the male bloodline.

I know that it used to be undiagnosable until a person was well into their teens, maybe even older. However, I believe that they are diagnosing at younger ages. I have taught elementary age students who are suspected to have bi-polar. So, they can identify it somehow through psychological testing I believe.

I think the most important thing here would be to find out if she is taking medicine for it and if so research how that drug might affect the baby in utero.

Best of luck! I know how hard it is to make decisions when there are issues like this.

Keep us posted.
Kim

[momofmykids]

A friend of mine and her husband have three children. Two are perfectly healthy, one has muscular dystrophy. You just never know when something will pop up. Even in biological birth, you are not guaranteed a healthy perfect baby.

Good luck!

[Shoshana]

1st degree biological relatives of individuals with Bipolar I disorder have elevated rates of:

Bipolar I disorder (4-24%)
Bipolar II disorder (1-5%) (a less severe form)
Major depressive disorder (4-24%)

Yes, 4 to 24% is a large range - it would probably be reasonable to pick the median, 14%.

Bipolar I - episodes of mania and depression.
Bipolar II - episodes of hypomania (less severe) and depression.

The lifetime prevalence rate in the community is .4 to 1.6%; Bipolar disorder is much less common than depression.

The fact that the mother has been homeless may indicate that she has a more serious form of the disorder -- or it could be unrelated. The fact that the kids have developmental delays may indicate that she has a more serious form of the disorder (she may not be able to care for them properly)-- or it could be unrelated.

Many people who have Bipolar disorder do NOT have a relative with the disorder. Having a relative with the disorder is far from a guarantee that one will develop the disorder.

I'm surprised that a psychologist said it was a "huge concern." (I'm a clinical psychologist). Bipolar disorder IS one of the more serious of the mental disorders -- however, medication is very effective if the individual is willing to take it! Many of the most creative people in history have had bipolar disorder. Many people with the disorder are able to lead happy and productive lives.

Hopp, I'm not even suggesting what you should do in this situation. I do know, however, that mental illness operates pretty much on the basis of "equal opportunity." A person may have a predisposition for a particular disorder (the predisposition does not have to be genetic, it seems like the familial pattern of bipolar disorder is neurochemical) and never show signs of mental illness. Another person may have a predisposition and given the right set of environmental triggers, may develop the disorder. Many people believe that environmental influences can serve to protect or trigger particular disorders.

Best wishes...

Edited to add: Sorry, I forgot your other question. The typical age of onset is in the early 20's. The disorder IS being diagnosed more frequently in adolescence, but that is fairly new and controversial. Adolescents who later develop bipolar disorder are more likely to have struggles with conduct and substance use.

[Hopp]

Hey All-

Let me make a few things more clear to help you all understand better.....

G, our birthmom Doesn't have the disorder. It is her mother that has it. G has been homeless in teh past and was also a victim of rape at 15. She seems to have had a hard life, however G herself is not bipolar.

What is the chance that a grandchild would get it?

[Shoshana]

That's an entirely different story! A grandmother is NOT a 1st degree biological relative so the risk factor would be much less than 4-24%. Sorry, I haven't seen any stats for 2nd degree relatives. It's a very good sign that G doesn't have the disorder, especially since she's had a hard life.

[Hopp]

That makes me feel so much better. We are feeling overall better as we read research on it tonight. The responses here are truly helping us as well. Thanks!

[amyfk]

Hi Dianna

I just wanted to write.

I am NOT a mental health professional, so I can only speak from family experience.

I had a grandmother with bipolar disorder. For years she had difficulties and then when lithium came onto the market, once she got on her medication she was fine! It had to be regulated though. In fact, I didnt know she had bipolar until I was a teen/adult because she seemed fine to me.

In our family it skipped my dad's generation(her son), and the disorder came down to us. My brohter has ADD and takes Ritalin for it. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which Ive had since I was a preteen and I take medication for it as well. Both my brother and I are high functioning and hold down professional jobs.

The reason I am on this board is because we're adopting because the medication I need isnt' safe for pregnancy.

Anyway, that is just my own family experience. Luckily my brother and I dont have anything as "serious" as bipolar, but we have conditions and they are treatable.

Nonetheless If I were in your shoes, I would have questions and concerns too. If you cannot get valid data from one doctor I would be calling other doctors in your area to find out about the chance of passing down an anxiety/depressive disorder genetically.

Although My grandmother had bipolar and reacted really well to the medication, I remember my psychologist telling me that bipolar is one of hte more serious of the disorders.

Therefore before you feel a comfort level with moving on, I think youre wise to do some fact checking with knowledgeable professionals in the mental health field.

I sort of know how youre feeling. We just finished our paperwork for Russia and received a referral, only to find that the referral had some serious medical issues. So we had to pass her up. The last few days have been ROUGH. I have been literally dragging around at work. However, I hope this gets better and I'm sure you'll feel better too. As everyone else tells me, get the information, and then make a decision to adopt not out of guilt or pressure or time constraint, but because you feel you can successfully parent the child.

If you want to pm me feel free.

I wish you all the luck in your adoption endeavors.
Amy K NJ

[chrisandaaron]

Thanks Shoshana! I knew someone around here knew the stats and you saved me from looking for you! I agree that it is something that should make you do some soul searching. My youngest brother has been struggling with mental illness (he is 16). We (and all his counselors) suspect bipolar, but they say it is very difficult to diagnose in someone his age. His birthfather and sister had bipolar and we suspect his birthmother did too. My sister (his bio sister) also struggles with depression. Everyone agrees that the kids were much more likely to be affected since one or both birthparents were bipolar. Don't let me scare you. We love them both and our family wouldn't be the same without them!

The other big thing I encourage you to think about is what type of contact you plan to have with pbmom. Is this going to be an open adoption? And are you ready to deal with someone who has these difficulties (since it sounds like she isn't one of those people who is "living a normal life," despite her disease.

Good luck with your decision!

[Hopp]

Ok, I just talked to G and got a full story.

Her mom is 55. She had no mental illness (or symptoms of it) until 6 years ago when G's dad died suddenly of a heart attack in front of her mom. Apparently her mom had a breakdown and has been in and out of mental health care since. Recently the dr's said it was bipolar. Since she's been on the med's for bipolar she's been "back to normal".

Think we should still be concerned? My instinct is that it isn't a big deal, but my dh is extremely concerned. Any thoughts?

[Leigh131313]

My mom is bi-polar.

I have a brother and a biohalf-sister, we're all fine.

I'm not one to be concerned about genetics as far as mental illness goes. I'm one of the ones who puts more emphasis on environment.

Leigh

[chrisandaaron]

I didn't read your post right the first time. Now I see it is the pbgrandmother who has (or is thought to have) bipolar. Personally, I wouldn't worry. But, that's just me.

[wanttobeparents]

Dianna,

It sounds as though her bi-polar was mostly environmental. Think about having the man you love die in front of you. I think I'd probably go off my rocker a bit.

If she had no symptoms until age 49, and medication has controled it, personally I wouldn't worry. I might watch my child for depression or other symptoms once he/she became a teenager, but I wouldn't worry. Think of it this way, you now have the opportunity to get educated about bi-polar disorder so you can watch for signs and get treatment early if it does appear.

Peggy