[wrekdiver]

I think the most important thing to keep kids off drugs is adult supervision and a really good relationship with their parents!!
I remember being offered drugs many, many times during high school and it never once occured to me to actually use any. We lived in an inner city and my mother was well aware of the signs of drug use.

As well, she also had the who/what/where/when conversation before I went out. But for me, the thing that kept me on my toes was that she was not afraid to "mix it up". When I was least expecting it, she would just call the other parent and ask if my story matched the other child's story. Or she would ask what the movie was about.

She was ALWAYS waiting up for me. I couldn't just rush up stairs and go to bed. I had to sit for just a few minutes and talk to her. No doubt she was assessing my speech pattern.

My mother was a firm believer that the only "rights" I had were the ones she gave me. Those rules, which I was absolutely sure, were going to ruin me socially probably saved my life.

[LisaCA]

sounds like my mom, lol. That was back when moms were moms and not your best friend .

[taramayrn]

My mom too...her and I are friends but I sure knew where the line was.

[JoEvans]

Hun, you are not alone. I believe, with the way things are now a days, we all worry about our kids and drugs.
BTW, I have a nephew who is on drugs and steals stuff from his mother and stepfather to get drugs. (they kicked him out)
Thankfully, my oldest daughter, who is currently going to college, knows not to get involved with drugs. And after seeing what I went through trying to raise her and her siblings alone, she wants to wait until shes married to have kids. Right now, all her focus is on her schoolwork and graduating. <pat myself on back> I must of done something right.
JO

[traceyk]

I have two bio teens and I have no doubt in my mind they will not use drugs. We are open about EVERYTHING in our home and they have been well educated about drugs and sex. And I am not concerned that when Drihan grows up either just because b-mom was a user. I think you know in your heart if they are using. My kids don't hang around with other kids like that either. We come from a town of 1200 and the kids just aren't like that. But we also know where are kids are at all times and who they are with. Education is the best tool as well as having open communication. Like with sex, I can't stop my daughters, but they know that even though they are too young in my opinion, they still know to come to us before they do so we can talk more and take precautions.

[sugarbabysmommy]

Originally Posted by traceyk

I think you know in your heart if they are using. My kids don't hang around with other kids like that either. We come from a town of 1200 and the kids just aren't like that. But we also know where are kids are at all times and who they are with.

It's interesting you should say this, I found out in my early twenties that my parents believed I had both smoked and used certain drugs during my teens. Their belief was so firm that no matter what I said they did not believe me, they knew I had. Ironically, I have never touched a cigarette nor used any drug, ever. But their expectation that I would was so high they that were sure I had, they just expected my brother and I to experiment, and saw that as NORMAL, they saw non drug use as abnormal teen behavior.

My point is, I was very close to my mom, but was shocked to realize that she didn't know this about me, and it drove home for me that you can never know everything about a person. I was a (generally) good student, I was into my passion, I did hang out with users and drinkers and smokers, and non users. I saw coke snorted off of my dining room table by my brother's buddies, my bio father died of a heroine overdose, I saw friends snort coke from their school lockers outside of math class, most were ok kids, many had good grades- heck my own bio father graduated with top honors in engineering from Cal.

Being confident in our kids is good, but shutting out the possiblity completely that our kids have the potential and access to use is risky. Small towns are not free of drugs.

[traceyk]

Perhaps you are misunderstanding me. I am not oblivious, as I am/was a deadhead and my kids have been to quite a few Phish, Phil Lesh and Allman Bros.concerts with us. But I also want to note I am not a user. We talk about everything and educate them, I think being only 19 years apart from my daughter helps too. I know drugs are everywhere even here. I also think being a SAHM makes a difference, I am here when my kids get off the bus and know what they are doing in those "target" hours. Unfortunately that isn't an option for everyone and everyone does things different My kids care too much about their bodies which is why they chose to be vegan, sugar free and very involved with sports. That being said, I feel comfortable saying they won't. And I have never shut out my kids in any way.

[melon161]

Wow I've started quite the debate. I want my kids growing up knowing that I have confidence in them. But I also want them to know that I would be greatly dissappointed in them if they did drugs. I know growing up that I didn't want to dissappoint my dad that way. I think that too many people think that trying drugs is normal and it may very well be, but if it is normal then I'd love for our generation to teach our kids a new normal. And that would be that trying drugs is gross and risky and can ruin there lives. Just because something seems "normal" doesn't mean we can't reform that "normal".

Stacy

[kune]

I echo every word you wrote Melon161 - there is a need to stop the cycles that have prevailed for years and you can only do that with every family trying their best to educated and change what is percieved as "normal". AND....one person or one family can make a difference. After all, peer pressure is keeping up with your friends - or choosing which path you want to follow.

Ann