[MMC66]

I have been amazed in my area at the lack of support groups, play groups etc for adoptive families.

I am interested to hear both what you wish you had in your community or what you do have that has helped and supported you in your adoption "journey" I speak from an adoptive parents perspective but all membbers of the triad are welcome to contribute.

I'll start:

What I have:
A wonderful pediatrician with a special interest in adoption thatis in the process of becoming an adoptive parent herself. She has been a tremendous resource since even before we brought Addy home.

What I wish I had:

An adoptive parent support group or play group just so I had a place to chat with parents with similar experiences and challenges and possibly build some friendships for myself and my child.

Looking forward to hearing what else is out there and other ideas that people have. Maybe I'll get motivated and start something myself

Martha

[sugarbabysmommy]

Wish we had a play group/parent's club. I tried to start one, not enough interest to keep it going.

[singlemommy]

I guess it depends on what area you live in. I'm in Washington and have an non profit agency that has monthly "Hub" adoption meetings, the state (DSHS) has one, and a few of the private adoption agencies here have been very supportive of inviting me to attend even though I'm not using their services.

I found a few more by doing some searches on the internet for my area. They aren't easy to find, but you might find something that way.

[mckenna]

we have a group that meets monthly. most of the families are transracial, which is what drew me to the group. sometimes there are 10 familes there and sometimes 4 but when the main people that attend are there, there are 5 or 6 boys my son's age that are aa or bi-racial growing up with a single white mom or white parents and now there are 3 or 4 girls my daughter's age in the same type of families. i just imagine them all growing up at least knowing each other and having each other to relate to as issues arise for them.

we all have pot luck dinner together and then volunteer babysitters take the older kids (usually 4 & up) to the gym to play sports or do crafts and the younger kids to a nursery. there is ususally a speaker on adoption, foster care, transracial adoption. we have had adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents talk to us. this past meeting a black couple came to speak to us about thier view of transracial adoption and what it meant for them growing up in black familes (one in a strictly black community and one in a multi cultural community).

once a year just the moms meet without kids and once a year just the dads meet without kids. sometimes it is nice just to talk about what is going on in our lives.

some of the families have adopted through private infant adoption, some through the state, some are strictly foster parents and a few have adopted internationally.

[Overwhelmed!]

When we first adopted Jacob, there seemed to be no support groups in our city. I, too, tried to start one, but there wasn't enough interest, or I wasn't marketing myself well enough.

Just recently I was on-line looking at Adoptive Families website and I took a look at their calendar of events and, lo and behold, there was a playgroup for adoptive families here in my city! It is organized and maintained by one of the adoption agencies here in town. It meets every 3rd Saturday of the month. I definitely will check it out!

As for my pediatrician, he's great. When we explained that we were bringing Jacob in and that we were in the process of adopting him, he just asked us to bring in as much of his birth family's medical history as we could. He's been very supportive.

[cupcake17]

There were really no rescouces for adoptive parents in our community so with the support of our church we started an adoption support group. We began in September. No one came to the first meeting, I was so bummed. The second meeting we had 3 families show-up we have been growing since then. We do playgroups on Friday nights too. If you are in SE Ohio, let me know we would love to have you !

[timni]

I have looked around atlanta for a support or play group but no luck so far.

[Guspiv]

There is a group with adoptive and foster parents in our area, but another county. We haven't been to a meeting yet but it just so happns that they have a meeting this saturday that we plan to attend. I am hoping to start something simular in our city.

I would like a group that reaches out to adoptive and prospective adoptive in our city. It is my vision to have a core group of adoptive parents who can serve as a resource for prospective parents, helping through the process sharing experiences (sort of like what this board does), and maybe pair up as buddies. I would also like the group to promote and educate particurlarly African Americans about adoption.

I think a play group is important too.

[LisaCA]

we have a great pediatrician . Dd saw her today and was just an absolute pill to her, but she didn't take it personally. she calms down this crazy, control freak mom .

I don't know if I want a playgroup around adoption, at least at this age (dd's 18 months). I come here to talk adoption, but I go out in the world to play and interact-I try not to talk adoption. I do need a playgroup however, but I need calm moms, not the ones who think their kid is the smartest, brightest, most clever, moms who have their kid enrolled in three or four classes a week etc. And I don't want to hear about how your husband works for x, blah, blah, blah. so I guess i'm asking for the world .

We may want a playgroup when dd's older, like say 3 or 4, so she can know other adopted kids. The street we live on now has 3 or 4 other adopted kids (there are two toddlers and two teens, three of us families out of 11 on our street-go figure). not sure what will happen when we move, so i guess it will be great to have a support group then.

[Lovebug]

We have a totally awesome ped! I swear if I wasn't so in love with my DH......Lol.

As far as adoption support/playgroups....there are none here that I know of. I totally agree with Lisa, though, and am looking for the same exact type of atmosphere.....too bad we are coasts apart!!!!!

--Renee

[LisaCA]

definitely! I think moms like us tend to stay away from organized playgroups, leaving the groups wide open for the other moms .

I think we need to stage a takeover...

[MMC66]

I guess I've been out of the whole playgroup scene for long enough to forget about all the lovely "dynamics", maybe some early dimentia is setting in

I guess coming from the traditional bio parent role I was interested to meet other adoptive parents and hear their stories. Our experience went so fast, I really didn't meet anyone along the way.

I am going to try to attend the ODS conference this spring - thought that might be cool. I'm also trying to find out about the more racially diverse preschools and other fun programs in the area.

I also think hanging out with other adoptive parents is a comfort level thing. You all share a common ground. Often when groups of moms get together, the conversation digresses to labor and delivery stories etc and there can be awkwardness on both sides, especially if an adoptive parent has gone through the painful trials of infertility. It's just nice to have friends who can relate, doesn't necessarily mean that adoption has to dominate the conversation, just a common ground thing KWIM??

Do you feel like agencies have an obligation to the community to provide post adoption activities and support in the community?? I feel that they are the obvious providers of such things.

Just my .02

martha