[Luv]

dh and i waited for 2 long years and finally our little angel came into our lives we are just about to finalize the adoption we have had our child for a little over a year now, well.......i got a phone call asking if we would like to adopt another little angel who is a little over one years old and our angel just turned 3 i want to but im scared this time it happened very quick or maybe just beacause i wasnt expecting or even looking for this to happen. do you think it is too soon? are we crazy to even consider?
any advice would be appreciated

Luv

ps
they would like an answer fairly quickly in order to know if they should pursue another family or not

[mommy3]

What a wonderful problem -- even if it's challenging! Can you meet the one-year-old and see what your heart tells you? Probably more important, how are things going for your 3-year-old? If s/he's doing well, you may be readier than you realize for her sister/brother! Are there any unique needs or issues for the new little one? Is it important to you to have a newborn? Just a few things that came to my mind. Take care and keep us posted -- susan

[Happy123]

I would say go for it....if you wanted more children.

Many families have children close together and I think your first child has to be over one since you say you have had them one year. Spacing wise that would be good.

Make sure that you take into account any special needs either child would have.

Trust your heart, good luck,
Happy123

[mommieof2cuties]

I would also say go for it Sounds like it would be a wonderful thing to happen to your family

Keep us posted...mommy3 offered some great advice

God Bless,
Summer

[FostermomCathie]

I would give the advice that it wont probably be easy. Any additional members in the family will dramatically change the course, possibly wont be as easy to bond on both your part and the little ones (compared to a baby younger) and some behavior may need to be worked with already even at that young age. Expect your little one now to change, for better or worse for awhile.
Its always interesting when we bring a new foster child into our home how the family dynamics change, it takes awhile but generally after a few months things work out well.
If you decide to do it no doubt things will be great, just prepare yourself for reality.

[Fran27]

If you want to go for it, make sure to read some books about attaching in adoption, it will probably help a lot for a baby that age. I have 'attaching in adoption', from Deborah, D.Gray, I've heard good things about it but I haven't read it yet. I'm sure it's very doable as long as you are prepared though, but it's a very personal decision and if you want to wait, it's totally understandable also. Good luck!

[blessedbybug]

To me, the timing seems perfect... if I understand right your DD has been with you for a year, a completely adequate amount of time to really bond together. And your addition would be just a little over one??? That's is great spacing for two kiddos. But that's me... you have to do what is best for your family. Any addition is scary... but I say go for it!! These kind of opportunities seem like open doors to me...

[Luv]

thank you all for your words of encouragement, advice, help and so on. we have a boy he is 3 the little boy who is up for adoption is one he just turned 1 a month ago! we can do it im just scared. we have made arrangements to meet with him in a couple of weeks. truth is i really want to do this i just dont want to get in over my head but i guess if i some how ended up pregnant right now i would just go with it and love all my kids just the same. the other part is we have to see if he will bond with us or not so its not just our decision. anyway you all made me feel better and this is a great problem to have. thanks again and after our visit i will update you all

luv

[Linny]

It wouldn't be the closeness in age that might be a problem, as I see it. It would be to make sure that you read about and exercise the attachment parenting---even if the new baby SEEMS to be 'just fine'. Attachment parenting certainly can't hurt.
Yes, your baby now will be affected. This always happens...whether you adopt this wee one now, or another baby in two more years. (We've adopted seven......four have been infant adoptions.)

Just prepare yourself for utter chaos in the early months....but in time...being pro-active......things will work well together (I'm willing to bet).

Keep us updated and my best to you......

Sincerely,

Linny

PS....My first two babies (now grown) are only 17months apart. My two youngest are 18months apart.

[mom2GRLC]

I've adopted 3 and my fourth will be coming up for adoption very quickly(through fostercare).

Everything worked out perfectly and we got all of them in a very short amount of time from each other.

14month old girl came in 4/03, was adopted on 5/05
3year old boy came on 9/03 was adopted on 5/04
5day old baby girl came on 3/04 was adopted on 10/04
8week old baby boy came on 12/04 and will soon be coming up for adoption.

During which time we also conitued to foster several other kids.

It can work!!!! We wanted all of our kids to be somewhat close in age...and that's what we got =0) Each and everyone was a true blessing to our family.

There will certianly be enough love to go around so if you feel ready to open your hear to another child....then I say go for it.

I wouldn't worry to much wether that baby will bond....if you go in with the right mindset ....that this is your child and you will love him and keep him forever...then it will work and your children will all be bonded to you and each other.

[chrisandaaron]

I have this theory that if God gives me another child this soon he will also give me the strength to handle it. At least I hope that is how it works (or I am screwed!).

[Luv]

Originally Posted by chrisandaaron

I have this theory that if God gives me another child this soon he will also give me the strength to handle it. At least I hope that is how it works (or I am screwed!).

chrisandaaron- you made me laugh so hard!
momgrlc- wow you have greatly impressed me, what i am trying to do seems like neary anything in comparison and linney you have been on this forum for a while filled with great knowledge and always knowing just what to say and i can certainly appreciate that- thank you!87

[Luv]

the 87 means nothing except that my little guy got to put his two cents in before i hit send

luv

[riverview]

I'd take the child in a heartbeat. What a blessing.

[timni]

Wow how neat! Let us know how it goes. Just one word of encouragement here. Dh is fond of saying when you are afraid of something the best solution is to jump in with both feet and you will see there was nothing to fear but the splash. So SPLASH AWAY!!!!!!