[Kymom2b]

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and share something that was on my heart. This morning after opening presents here with dh, I felt very peaceful and renewed. I'm so thankful for that because the last few days have been a struggle for me. In Oct. we had a failed match that was very difficult and the situation has really been on my mind this last week. A couple of VERY close relatives who know about the failed match actually gave us baby related items for Christmas-nursery decorations, a shirt for Dh that says future daddy, and some baby related scrapbooking items. It really hurt the both of us that they were so insensitive to how we are feeling, especially at this time of year.

This morning as I was reflecting over all that has taken place in the last few days, I realized that I has made Christmas into something that I couldn't have. More than anything, I wanted this Christmas to be different-I wanted a child. Because of my little pity party, I hadn't realized that I have experienced the gift of a child. Many years ago, a child was born in a stable for us all. The birth of Jesus is such a gift and I hope we all take a little time to count our blessings this Christmas.

It's my sincere wish that all of us "waiters" will have a precious child of our own to love and appreciate next Christmas. Congratulations to all who have completed an adoption this year-I hope this Christmas was all you dreamed it would be.

[mcnh63]

That was just beautiful. Tears came to my eyes reading it. May this year bless you with everything you have always dreamed of. God bless you. And Thank You for that wonderful reminder .Merry Christmas!!!!

[Montraviatommyg]

Merry Christmas to you and may 2006 be better for you. The only child I had I relinquished which is the down side the up side is we are in reunion. However I agree the birth of Jesus was a gift to all of us ... something that we have a tendency to forget at times.

Hugs
Pip

[Montraviatommyg]

Sorry for my ignorance but what does MAPP ... being English is my excuse .

Pip

[chrisandaaron]

Well said Liz! I hope as time passes you will find those "insensitive," gifts to be gifts of hope and faith that your child will be here soon!

[mmdd2b]

Thanks for sharing. I really needed to hear that at this particular moment.

[blessedbybug]

Beautifully said... and what a great thing to realize for yourself. I "lost" many joyful moments celebrating what Christmas truly means because I sis just what you said, made it into something it shouldn't be... may the joy of Christmases to come be real and wonderful!

[momofmykids]

Originally Posted by FH-Montraviatommyg

Sorry for my ignorance but what does MAPP ... being English is my excuse .

Pip

MAPP is an acronym for Model Approach to Positive Parenting. It is the required traing for foster parents. Different states use different programs. TN uses PATH and acronym for Parents as Tender Healers.

Hope this helps!

[Sarah0518]

You sound so much like me December 2003. It hurts! How I remember that still.

We had completed our homestudy late 2002 and the agency said most place in a year or less. We spent most of Christmas 2002 thinking how we'd be parents by the next Christmas. We matched late October 2003, and it fell through 2 days after the baby's birth in November. It hurt so bad. Going into the holiday season was so depressing. I think I could have dealt better emotionally had the holidays been right there.

Give yourself permission to grieve. And remember, your time will come.

As for your relatives, I'm sure they just didn't realize they gifts might hurt you. They probably meant it as a show of optimizism that your time will be soon, and to show they continue to support your decision to adopt a baby, despite your setback.

Hugs ( ) from someone that has been there.

[danhanan]

Liz....reading this truly warmed my heart. You are amazing and I hope many people have or will read this and feel enlightened.
I'm sure that by giving you baby gifts, people that care deeply about you were trying to be positive and encouraging. Let the sting pass and realize that they meant no harm, only hope.
God Bless you

[punchkin]

Liz, Merry Christmas to you and dh. I'm happy to hear that you have a renewed peace. We finalized our adoption in Feb, of this year. I was totally grateful, esp today. I hope that all your dreams come true in 06.

[Montraviatommyg]

Originally Posted by momofmykids

MAPP is an acronym for Model Approach to Positive Parenting. It is the required traing for foster parents. Different states use different programs. TN uses PATH and acronym for Parents as Tender Healers.

Hope this helps!

Thanks, I've no doubt the UK do something similar.

Pip

[taramayrn]

Liz, Merry Christmas! I'm sorry for the insensitive gifts, however I'm sure they were meant to "cheer" you up somehow. (((HUGS))) Here's to a New Year filled with babies!