[JulesInColorado]

Ok, really silly but I am going to say it anyway. Ok, so through infertility treatment (thinking that something might take) I was dreaming of baby names. I had my heart set on one combination of names Ryan Michael (my brother's first name is Michael) - then my brother and his wife get pg on first try and they thought it was a girl - last minute it's a boy - guess what the name is?

Ok, so now I picked a back up - Colin - so one of my best friends get's pg - guess what she named her boy?

Ok, so girl name - LOVED the name Paige and so did hubby - my other best friend is pg - guess what she asked me today?

Anyway - I know it's silly, just wanted to know if anyone else dreamed of baby names and they all got taken before baby came through adoption or otherwise.

[Leigh131313]

Yeah, it's surprising how heartbreaking that is.

I had a few of my much loved names "stolen" as well.

Luckily, by the time ds arrived, i knew exactly what I wanted to name him, and we did.

I already know which name I love for a girl, and all of my friends know that if they chose to steal my name, I'm using it anyway.

I'm able to laugh about it now, but it really did hurt at the time.

Keep those dreams alive.

Leigh

[timni]

Yes i had this happen but it actually allowed me to pick a name I love even more. So I guess it happens for a reason in the end.

[LisaCA]

the moral of the story: don't share names with anyone if you want to keep it! (people are pretty insensitive).

alternative moral: don't get too attached to a single name!

[BrandyHagz]

I agree with Lisa...its a darn tough lesson to learn.

DH and I tried for five years, we had the girls name picked for about as long...my brother and his wife get pregnant, and they *thought* about the name we were going to use...and that was enough for me. It was kind of a slap in the face, ya know?

So, now we have names...several girls names, cuz we can't really decide...but we have firmed up the boys name and you couldn't pry that sucker from my cold dead hands...I won't tell a SOUL till the BC is issued...not a soul!

[JulesInColorado]

exactly - I didn't share it just for that reason and then "silently" was upset because names were chosen - i.e. everyone is passing us by. Well, it's so silly I know but Leigh you hit the nail on the head just felt a bit heartbroken. I was totally honest with best friend and said "I haven't told you this, but this is what keeps happening and I never shared what names I chose because I felt silly since I wasn't pg and don't have an adoption in sight." I told her that obviously she has the choice to use the name (can't stop her) - and my intension was not to make her feel guilty. She emailed me back and said "Paige it is then" unless her hubby disagrees. She does not know if girl or boy yet, but ... She's not an insensitive person and I know she appreciated me being upfront, but part of me wishes she would chose something else after my confession to her.

Ironically Leigh is my friend's name... ha ha - which I always thought was pretty too.

Anyway - thanks, good to know I was not the only one who dreamed up names and had heart set on them.

[AwaitingBeloved]

Hey Julie,
I've had that happen, too. Before we even did IVF, when Mike (dh) was sick, he told me he wanted a Jr. Well. I never liked jr's myself, but the guy was fighting for his life, what could I say? Of course I caved and said we'll have a JR. Well, 3 years ago, amidst our IVF, my older bro (also Mike) and his wife considered a jr, too. My parents talked them out of it (too much pressure on the boy to be like his dad, etc, which I had never considered) and they named him A. Michael... and my sister has two, her oldest is also a Michael, named after, yep, his dad (yep, another Michael!!!)

Anyway, there've been lots of names that we've attached to and then pulled away from for these same reasons. And we want a unique name, but not a name that teachers at school have to sound out to pronounce, you know? lol. I always felt bad for the kids that the teacher couldn't say their name!! I mean, in 2nd grade, you are your name! Hehe. Memories . Anyway, I understand where you're coming from.

[Curvyred]

I don't know, maybe I'm being insensitive in my own way, but I've never understood the whole "there can only be one!" rule when it comes to names. I can see how multiple grandkids with the same name can get confusing, but there are a lot of families with the same names, and names that are passed down. I say, name your kid what you want to! If you share a name that you're considering, and somebody else "takes it," I don't think it should stop you! If they get mad, tell them that they have nobody to blame but themselves since you already told them that was a name you were considering! If you keep silent and someone uses it, then you can always explain that you had always considered that name and didn't want to influence their choice.

As for friends naming their kids . . . I always figured that, unless their kid has completely destroyed my love for that name, there's no reason there can't be two.


I'm a Jennifer, born in the 70's and grew up surrounded by the hundreds of girls named Jennifer by parents who all loved the name. I can't say as I ever minded--other than the perfectly normal desire that every child has to change their name every once in a while.

[quiescentfury]

I come from a large baby producing family. This happens all the time!! What I do is tell everyone what my baby names are. Everyone is fair warned that if they name their kid the same thing I am not changing my name. Pretty much all my cousins do the same thing. It works out really well.

[allanacw]

My mother's large British family has the same name all over the place. They solve it by saying "Your John" and "My John".

My brother's name is John, as is my Grandfather and Greatgrandfather. My FIL's name is Jan (Polish), and goes by John, so we thought it would be a great name if we ever have a boy. However, I discussed it with my brother first, who said "Seriously, I'm nowhere near having kids...and why can't we both have it?".

So, I'm preparing myself in advance, but with the caveat that everyone knows that no matter what they do, I may still use the name.

[spaypets]

Count me in the camp of people who wanted my kid to the be the only one with her name. I have always HATED it if there was another person with my name in a class or situation.

We chose a name that wasn't popular -- I'd only known one in my entire life. Well, three years later, after Parents magazine listed it as a hot new name it's skyrocketed to popularity-- I see it on the boards all the time and in baby announcements. I was unreasonably irritated when a member of my Temple named her new daughter the same thing. Fortunately, her middle name is under the radar screen, so she can always use her first inital.

Next daughter I'm naming Griselda.

[RLK913]

Yes, it happened to me as well - had secretly loved the name Marlee and my cousin had a child and named her daughter Marlee - but I am going to have another child soon and still can't decide if I want to request gender and definitely don't have a name picked out!!

[gabsdot]

Allancw
I laughed when I read your post about all the johns. My mum was one of 6 girls 4 of whom married johns, one was my dad and his sister married a john and I have a brother and a cousin called john.
All my uncles are referred to as john 'surname'. It can be confusing.
As for baby names DH and I could never agree and were never 'married' to any names so we were glad that the decision was taken out of our hands and we kept the name DS had been given at brith.

[SquirlyGirl]

My husband and his 2 best friends all ended up naming their first child the same name (totally accidental) One is S. Erin, one is Aaron ?, the other is M. Aaron. Only one of them accually goes by Aaron. How on earth we all ended up with the same name I have no idea our families don't keep in that close touch.

[megaphonemo]

so much so that we came up with an alternative. Big Irish family- I am shocked it is not used yet!! Then SIL ended up not using the name we had originally thought - ended up using a terrible name with a strange spelling ( won't even tell you!). But by then we had fallen in love with the alternative!!

Original fave name - sean
changed to Michael
in August - brought home a DAUGHTER!! No worries about name in the end anyway!! HA-HA!!

Oh, and in my family I have 2 uncle Jacks, a brother jack, 3 cousins Jack, a BIL Jack, and a niece Jacquelyn!! My BIL went by his first and last names around my family for a while.....

Mega