[redhedded]

I have become very wary of dogs. I am a dog lover, as opposed to a cat lover. Grew up with many dogs, Dobermans specifically. They were loving, loyal, totally laid back and extremely well trained family pets (because of my dad). We always had several. My last precious Doberman died of Lupus two years before my daughter was born, and my beloved Great Dane died of spinal cancer 7 months before my daughter was born. We are appropriately cautious but never talk about dogs being aggressive or dangerous; we model waving and discussions about dogs, working dogs and pet dogs, as we live in a city with a huge population of hearing/visually impaired and the home of the schools for blind and for the hearing impaired. We do not pet dogs that we do not know well; that is just our policy but have been nothing but affirming about dogs' lovely nature.

Yesterday, here in Central Texas, a 76 year old woman was on her riding mower (it is 87 degrees here) and was fatally attacked and mauled by 6 pit bull/rottweiler dogs. Her neighbor who attempted intervention was also brutally bitten.

In October my mom visited (they live 1/2 year here and the other 1/2 out west). The morning she departed, we pulled up in front of her house to take her to the airport. She was sitting inside her car, parked inside her garage; her bags were on the driveway. There was a 18 month or so Doberman, ironically, and an adult Pit Bull in her garage running back and forth from each side and barking viciously at her car. (Dobe was barking, PB was not). Long story short, I had to return home, around the corner, get a loaf of bread, and lure them out on the opposite side of my car with food, so she could get into the car and we could leave. Of course, we contacted Animal control from the car. We have not seen them since. My children were in the car; while it was quite frightening, we both remained calm and collected. This is not the first time that a dog has gotten out of his backyard and was loose; it has happened several times, and sadly has resulted in my discontinuation of my walking with babe and babe on tricycle in our development.

Fast forward two weeks, as we exited Starbucks, a dog extended his leash while tethered outside alone while owner was inside and began barking wildly at my daughter. I did not act alarmed and went and sat away from him. When the owner came out, I had a "discussion" with her about it not being appropriate to bring a dog that barks in such a manner to a public place. She was not the least bit apologetic, though that is another issue.

My daughter understands gray areas and does not think concretely; she still wants to wave at dogs from afar and comments about their appearance and friendliness and size, but. . . the minute they walk or get anywhere close to us she freaks out, really freaks out. I do not want her to be afraid of dogs but now think that she should have a healthy apprehension about them. I reassure her that they are not near us/leashed/accompanied by friendly owner. I have explained that those incidents were isolated. Any suggestions?

[kiwi]

Red, I was just at a friend's house who used to offer their dog as a "service" for just such situations. It was a very old, very docile dog so they would have friens bring their dog-fearing children over to pet a "nice dog".

I think, especially with your daughter's ability to reason, that if you were to spend some up close time with a dog like that, it could be established that SOME dogs are very nice and the appropriate measures to take to find out.

[Lexmom]

I agree with Sarah. I friend with a good dog should help, but also explain to your daughter that she should never approach a dog without the dog's owner consent. Also, l you should always be present as well to explain to her how to properly approach dogs. Even the most docile dog could become fearful if someone approaches it in a way that appears aggressive to them...and a fearful dog is unpredictable.

[allanacw]

A great suggestion!

When Shawntay came to live with us (she was four) she was terrified of dogs, big or small. The sight of one would send her into absolute hysterics, and she would jump onto anything or into anyone's arms to avoid them. Basically, she melted down.

Our daycare provider had two dogs (a bad setup, but I didn't know of her fear before she came to live with us when I set it up with close friends), and on her first day there she had to carry Shawntay around for the first hour or so. By the end of the day she was throwing a ball for them. Now she hugs my parents dogs constantly (a rottweiller and a black lab) and comes back covered in fur from playing with them.

Enough about us! I think Kiwi's suggestion is a great one.

Allana

[LisaCA]

dd is just the opposite. While i like other people's dogs, I'm just not so thrilled with them up close. plus dog people seem to think we all like their dogs and trust the "oh my dog's a sweetie, he never hurts anyone". Dd thinks dogs are the best things ever. she sees one, squeals and runs toward them. we're teaching her that she can wave to them from afar, but she should ask from afar if she can pet the doggie. I worry that she really doesn't have much fear of them, even the big ones whose wagging tails nearly knock her over. I'm pretty sure I'm in for 17 years of begging for a dog.

our neighbors seem to think that their dog is so cute that it should be able to run around the neighborhood. I do mention my car near-misses of their dog, but they haven't a clue. Sadly they're raising a 2 yr old and they let him play in the street too .

I like the old dog idea, but hey, maybe she's just a cat person, or a bunny person, something not large and aggressive.

[lmrod55]

I like the suggestion that Sarah provided. I would also suggest maybe calling a local dog trainer and get their input...I bet a trainer would have an advanced class w/ "star" dogs and maybe you could attend with babe.

When we were in Atlanta our dogs attended many group training classes - and the guy we used was awesome and I know he would have suggestions and must assume you can find that type of person in your area. In fact, if you'd like I can send him an email - we still keep in touch!

We have two mini schnauzers...and dd LOVES dogs. My mom also has dogs - one big one (can't recall breed for the life of me) but he has "knocked" dd over a couple of times and I have noticed recently that she is a little hesitant to play with them like she used to. Literally running to jump in someone's lap if he comes into the room (she never did that before)...not that I blame her, but I hope it's not the start of being wary of dogs.

BTW, I read the article about that lady in TX and that is just horrible...it broke my heart to read it!

Good luck Red - ld

[spaypets]

I also concur with Kiwi. You might look for someone with a therapy dog that they bring to hospitals and nursing homes.

Also, maybe start reading books about dogs. The book I'm Safe with My Pet offers good tips about knowing a dog's body language (I know because I helped them keep it accurate!). The authors are Wendy and Paul Gordon -- it's part of the I'm Safe series. I have a feeling that knowlege is power with your dd. If she has the tools to understand, maybe she'll feel more comfortable. You might want to look at some dog training books and videos that focus on dog behavior and body language.

And of course, there's always Lassie. Walmart has some videos of the old shows for $1.

[bluedaisy]

Lisa, instead of subtle comments, I would recommend telling your neighbors directly that you are concerned about your children's safety, that they may feel their dogs are well-behaved, but they can frighten people in the neighborhood. I'd be direct about this as they might not be getting the hint. Further, if they don't respond, call Animal Control.

My dogs sometimes run around the neighborhood, but it's because they've escaped under the fence or something like that. I always appreciate the neighbor who lets us know they are out.

I think it's good for kids to know certain things about strange dogs: don't run up to them, don't surprise them, don't stare them down; do offer your balled up fist for them to smell. It's also good for kids to know that dogs have "base," meaning when they are on their beds, porches, etc., don't mess with them.

The problem isn't really dogs, but people who train them to be vicious, sometimes fighting dogs. It can be a real problem. You might call your local animal control and learn the ordinances. And always call animal control or the sheriff when you see stray dogs. Sometimes they truly are lost.

Kids do feed of adults' attitude toward dogs. Kids can learn from you to be scared.

I love the idea of finding the gentle kid-proof dog and introducing kids to dogs that way. I have one gentle old log of a dog and another young dog who loves kids but can be rough (in a play sort of way). Most kids love 'em.

[Hopp]

Red,

I just heard about this story today from our secretary. Her daughter-n-law (in her 30's) grew up next door to the woman who was killed...her parents were there when it happened, and we got a first hand story from them, and I am sick sick sick from it. What are the local athorities doing about it?

Here in San Antonio, we have lots of issues with pitbulls being bread to fight. It's a horable thing. We hear frequent stories about people being attacked, but seldome of death. What a sickning way to die.

I have a Lab and an akita. I was told when my akita was a pup that they "can" become somewhat agressive in their older age. Sooo, I was teaching kindergarten at teh time at a private school. I brought my akita with me at least 3 days a week to school. Now he LOVES kids, lays down to be pet when little ones are in our home, and doesn't ever mind being pulled on...sat on...what ever when it is a little person. I will say however that I keep a close eye on my "babies" when children are in our home. While I truly feel in my heart they would never never hurt a child (or anyone for that matter), I am cautious where children are concerned. I think that every responsible owner of any type of pet owes that to visiting children. We assume nothing, and always ask permission to have them in the house when friends bring their kids over...we just never assume that their comfort or trust levels are the same as ours.

I love the idea of you introducing your daughter to a pet that has been raised with love and is mellow. It isn't healthy to have a huge fear like that of animals, and as she grows up it will only intensify. I think it is healthy however to have a cautious attitude around dogs. Anyway...I think interaction with a friendly dog is a wonderful idea.

[BoxerLady6]

WOW...this a subject that I could go on and on about. (can you tell by my signature? lol)
But I will try and address some good points here.
First off.....please, please, please PLEASE do research on pit bulls....can I say please again??? This a is wonderful breed that is loving and sweet and has been portrayed in a terrible light by the media. These dogs have been abused and treated badly and forced to fight, the ones that won't fight back are made to be used as bait dogs and attacked. I could so you pictures that would break your heart. It is a very sad state and breaks my heart to see number of cities and states increase in banning this breed. I wish we could make them see, thugs will simply move on to boxers, bulldogs, dobermans, etc, etc, etc. What happens when we have no breeds left to ban? (it will come to this if it contintues)
As far as owners not taking responabilty for their dogs angers me TO NO END!!!!! I have a boxer that was abused and is very leary of people and other dogs. We can not walk down certain streets because I know that people will be having their dogs run loose everywhere. The day a dog comes up to us and my CONTAINED CONTROLLED boxer attacks their dog you better believe I will not feel one bit sorry for them.
As far as children and dogs go. I will not want young children petting my dog, my lab (I usally do not let young children to pet my boxer at all), without their parents around. And my lab is SUPER FRIENDLY and LOVES KIDS!!! If a child approachs my lab and pets her its ok because she is friendly but I will usually tell them and their parents they should always get permission to pet a strange dog first!!
And about the person the orignal poster encountered who left their dog chained outside Starbucks, I have problems with that on many levels. It sad that so many people out there are just not responsible engough to own dogs so you need to take their responabilty and educate your children.
If anyone has any dog questions I would be happy to answer them and I will get off my soapbox now. Thanks for the chance to talk about something I am so passionate about.

[redhedded]

Thanks so much for all of the advice and suggestions.

I think it's good for kids to know certain things about strange dogs: don't run up to them, don't surprise them, don't stare them down; do offer your balled up fist for them to smell. It's also good for kids to know that dogs have "base," meaning when they are on their beds, porches, etc., don't mess with them.

Bluedaisy, Thanks. My dd is fully aware of all of these rules about dogs and approaching/not approaching them. The fact is, she is an intense and "eccentric" kid; she would never, with wild abandon, quickly approach anyone or anything, ever!

Spay, I know for sure that more education/discussion about dog behavior would be beneficial for her, because knowledge is power/necessary for her. However, much of this is less about a fear, which would not really get out of control, but more about her coping with the fact that these were unexpected events for her, out of the ordinary of her plan, and that does not go over well, kinda like the "red curtain" movie theater fiasco. Most of all I realize, after much further consideration, and knowing her like I do, that she really needs time to process these events rather than additional animal exposure for now.

I should have realized from my first sentence that this was much about me, though I did not let on my evolving feelings to her and never showed fear. I think I have quite a bit of dog knowledge, years of obedience with my father, several dogs I trained as an adult, two of whom were rescued from extremely abusive and unsafe homes (my beloved Dane and another Dane that we fostered for Gentle giant.) I was completely and utterly shocked at the awful awful event 'down the road' in Texas. It is a tragedy of unimaginable proportions.

Boxerlady, I just wanted to be really clear that my post was in no way an indictment of pit bulls. I merely stated the facts. My dear friend has rescued them for years; I know the awful things that insensitive humans have done to them.

Thanks again.

[Hopp]

Boxerlady, I just wanted to say also that I agree with what you are saying about pitbulls. They are a beautiful animal and what I was stating above is true to what you are saying...they are being trained to fight and be this way. An animals temperment is often a sign of how they are raised and treated. It is sad that any dog or animal is trained to kill other creatures or humans. I think most people here agree with you and your statements.

Red, I think your approach is a great one!

[bluedaisy]

We realized after we adopted our sweet dog that she's probably got some pitbull in her. She's a dear. Pretty strong, too, actually. As much as she adores people and kids, I do think she could scare off some folks.
And I did want to be clear that when I said my dogs are good with kids--I do still make sure I'm there when the kids first come in the house, in large part because my one dog's friendliness. Overfriendliness.

I'm hoping that she'll become our kid's best friend and not the biggest rival!

[Lexie]

My best friend's daughter was exactly the same way. We all took a holiday last year when she and my son were both 3. My son loves dogs and I have to keep him from hugging strange dogs he does not know. Anyway, my brother came with us and brought his very kid friendy dog with him. My son was all over him right away. It took several days, but by the end of the week my friend's daughter was petting the dog and giving him treats. She even gave him a hug on the last day. She did need a few days to get comfortable, but now she is better around dogs in general after that trip.

[BoxerLady6]

Red,
I didn't so much that you were saying anything about Pitbulls. But there are so many people out there that don't know the truth behind the media and reading one more bad thing about just pushes this is "an evil breed" deeper in their mind.