[dutchgirl2]

Happy Thanksgiving to us.
We had our beautiful son home for a full month when we recieved a phone call from the agency yesterday morning that his birth parents had decided to parent. The case worker came to our house an hour later and picked Eamon up from our home. He was returned to his parents back at the agency.
The courts had been backed up in our home town (the 2 judges who do the TRP's in our county both went off on a seminar at the same time and left no replacement. The judge we got had a new clerk who refused to put the TPR's to the top of the list.) So TPT had been moved up all the way to the first week of December, thus offering no closure to our birth parents.
But we were certain all would be well. We had a wonderful open relationship with them, which included lots of emailing. I dropped off photo albums, a locket for mom and books for her son, at the agency. I got an email from her that they loved the gifts and were so happy that they'd chosen the perfect family to raise their son. Everything was perfect.
Then out of nowhere...they wanted him back.
Our hearts are broken, or rather they feel like they were cut out with a dull knife. Our daughter keeps asking where 'baby?' is.
Yes, I realize he was never fully ours until TPR was signed, so please don't bring that up. All I need now is a little support and understanding from everyone around me. And I know that there are others on this forum who have experienced what we're going through now.
Our house is so empty..thank god for our beautiful daughter. We still have much to be thankful for.

Simone

[Lexmom]

There isn't anything I can say to make you feel better. All I can give you is my whole-hearted sympathy. This is such a devastating thing to have happen. I will be thinking of you and your family this holiday season.

[meimaemomma]

Simone, I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray for peace and comfort for you and for understanding from all those around you.

[LisaCA]

simone i'm so sorry that this happen to your family. i don't know if anyone could guard their heart for an entire month- your family has the right to be devastated and mourn his absence. i hope everyone in your circle of family and friends understands your pain.

your family will be in our thoughts,

lisa

[mckenna]

i am so sorry for your loss. i wish there was more i could say. take care of yourselves and your wonderful daughter.

[spaypets]

Simone, there are no words. I'm so terribly sorry it ended this way.

[crick]

Simone - (((HUGS))) I'm so sorry for your pain!

[pinkheart]

When I read your post my heart goes out .I cannot express to you how sorry I am for you and your family. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling and I pray for you . God bless.

[dadfor2]

simone,

i am so sorry for the pain you and your family are going through.

youll be in my thoughts

[BeckyS]

Simone, I will also be praying for peace for your family. I am so sorry for your loss.

[SadieAnn]

Simone, I hope it provides a little comfort that there are people here who understand your pain and are willing to listen and support you. Last winter we also had a baby boy with us for 5 wks before the bparents changed their mind. It was our first adoption attempt and we were first time parents. He was in our sole care just 45 min. after his birth, and we had him home for Christmas and New Years. Our lives were complete. Having him taken back was the hardest thing we've ever experienced. I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling.

The few months that followed our loss were sad and frightening. On top of mourning the loss of this precious baby... we were so worried our "forever" baby would never come,... but he did. In the Spring our son J was born, and we finalized this Fall. Even though we knew first hand that our son wasn't truly "ours" until tpr, even the 2nd time around it didn't keep us from falling in love. I tried to stay grounded, but it's pretty hard when you are holding a baby you so desperately want, and feeling a love so pure.

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk further. ((((hugs)))

[MamaTo6]

My heart and prayers to you and your families.

[dutchgirl2]

Thank you so much everyone, for your kind and thoughtful words. You have no idea how much it helps to be able to share it with others who understand. Yes, our family and friends are there for us, but there are so many special people on this forum who have a slightly better idea of what it is we are REALLY going through.
We are grieving but have decided to jump right back in and activate our profile. That may seem harsh, but being clinical and getting back on track, is all I can do to keep myself sane right now.
I thought of you yesterday SadieAnn, because I knew you'd gone through the same thing. I truly believe our son or daughter is still out there and that they will find us when the time is right.
In the meantime we know that little Eamon is with people who love him and will be wonderful parents to him. Selfishly, we just wish it could have been us.
Thanks again everyone.

Simone

[Casey677]

Simone, I am so very very sorry that your family is going through this. I can't even imagine the pain you must be feeling.

If you need to vent or cry, please feel free to pm me!!!!

You are in my thoughts!!!!

Hugs,
Casey

[icunurse]

I don't even know what to say....I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you, but you are handling it with grace and dignity. May all of you find comfort soon.