[MNelson]

Simone, I am so very very sorry for your devastating loss. My husband and I faced six months of uncertainty, with our son's birthparent vascillating between certainty of reclaim to certainty of relinquishment. There were times I had to try to take myself to the place you are in now to try to prepare myself for survival. Even though it's nowhere near the same, it was at those times I thought I would just curl up and die. I agree with you that you just have to keep on moving forward. You'll still grieve the loss of this little baby boy, but your heart will be able to love again just the same. (((Hugs)) to you.

[purplekelli]

Simone,

I am so sorry this is happening to you. We are also going through a failed match. The twin girls we've been planning for and already loved eventhough they hadn't been born yet, came into the world yesterday and their mother decided to parent. As agonizing as it is for us I can't even BEGIN to comprehend the hurt you must have after having your little boy for a month! My heart aches for you! I hope it doesn't sound harsh, but I hope you are matched again very soon and you find the baby you're supposed to have. I think that the only thing that will fix the pain in my heart is to be somebody's mom... someday. So I understand how you could jump back in and activate your profile. We did the same thing this afternoon. I can work on healing, while I'm waiting.

I will pray that God give you and your family the same peace and comfort that we're asking for ours.

Kelli

[Bassette]

Simone, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something more, but am at a loss for words. May you somehow make peace with this heartbreaking situation. Thinking of you. >>>HUG<<<

[billysmommy]

I am so very, very sorry for what your family is going through.........

[flowergoddess]

Simone,

There are no words to express how sorry I am for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and I"m praying you've got a precious baby in your arms soon.

Hugs to you....

[Linny]

I have felt a loss like this before; and I'll add that it is the sensitive and loving momma/daddy who care and love their baby---knowing all too well the risks and consequences they face should this type of thing happen.
I believe you are wise to jump right back in and realize that your baby will come.....in due time.....I hope and pray that it is soon. I also hope that you won't have to go through the pain of the unknown for 30 days! How anyone can bre asked to do this, is beyond me....but you did and gave this little one your all.
God Bless you and your family.

Most Sincerely,

Linny

[melon161]

Simone, I'm very sorry. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you feel.

Stacy

[dutchgirl2]

Thank you all you wonderful people who have commiserated with us and given us hope for the future. Our hearts go out to those of you that have experienced the same thing too.
Purplekelli, I am SO sorry for your failed match, it doesn't matter if the twins never made it into your home, they were already in your heart. I too hope that you will find peace in what has happened and know that your baby is still out there.
Mamacrina, you are right, this baby will always hold a special place in our heart but we will move forward, as you did after your failed match. And what a gorgeous daughter you now have.
AMom2Two, I couldn't have said it better myself. You nailed it on the head about all the questions and doubts we have right now. We may send a last email to his parents just asking for some closure on all of this. We just want to understand what happened so that we can move forward. We don't blame them, because of course they want to raise their son, they love him! Just like we do.
Well, I'd just like to wish everyone a Happy Turkey Day. We all have much to be thankful for, our families and friends, our health, the fact that we have a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. We truly are so very blessed.

Simone

[ermiller]

(((Simone)))

Prayers for peace and comfort for you and your family. I cannot imagine your grief, while knowing that nothing will replace the loss of this child, I hope your forever baby finds you soon. Extra hugs to A.

Erin

[Ragnarok]

Simone, I do not know you at all but somehow was drawn to this thread. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I held my son for only a few minutes, already knowing that he would be going home with someone else, and handing him over was the hardest thing I have ever done. I cannot imagine how you must feel after having him in your arms for a whole month. Your grace is inspiring. You and your family will be in my thoughts. I hope that his birth parents can offer you some closure.

[cathy102]

Simone...I just read your last post. There is so much to be thankful for, like you said. I know you will have your baby in due time. You are still in my thoughts...

((((Hugs to you and your family)))))

[redhedded]

Simone, Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you so often. I hope that you are doing okay today and that moments of peace of comfort are finding you in between your pain. Hold that precious girl of yours. Your outlook and strength is inspiring.

[cathy102]

Simone...Thinking of you right now... Hope you will get your match VERY soon. You will be in my thoughts and prayers...

[dutchgirl2]

Thank you Erin, Cathy, redhedded and Ragnarok for your kind words and thoughts for us. We are hanging in there (what else is there to do?). It just amazes me that in an attempt to make us feel better, some of our family and friends fall into birth parent-bashing or just plain saying the wrong thing. I've heard everything from: "Well I would have turned the baby over to the agency wearing nothing but his diaper!" - That one from a close friend after I told her that we'd packed a bag with formula, diapers, toys and clothes to send along with him. Like we would give him back in nothing but a diaper! He is (was) our son for crying out loud!
Another doozy came from my own mom: "Well at least you only had him for a month. It's not like you carried him in your womb for 9 months. And it's not like he died, he just went back to his mother." Oh, ok, I guess we were really just temporary babysitters after all!
I know she didn't mean it the way it came out (I hope not anyway), because she cried on the phone the entire time, she was so upset for us. I'll forgive her for those comments, even if I can't wipe them from my mind.
It's so nice to read new posts of people getting matched and creating their families..I just know we'll be fine and when our son or daughter comes along, it will feel like that was how it was meant to be. We will never forget our baby boy and he will always be in our hearts but I also know that his mom and dad adore him and will be excellent parents. We met them and know this for a a fact.
Thanks again everyone, for being there for us.

Simone

[tsmaman]

Simone:

With tears in my eyes, I'm sending you warm thoughts.

I think you're taking those negative comments so much more elegantly than I would.

Wishing you peace and a quick match.

SAM