[flowergoddess]

This is really unexpected for us, but I've talked to a pbmom online a couple of times. We seemed to have just "clicked". She asked me last night if we could meet in person and I"ll be in her area wed, so we agreed to meet then. (we both live in tn about 3 hours apart).

She seems really sweet and really decided on adoption. I've repeatedly asked her if there was anyway she could parent b/c i know she loves the baby dearly. b/c she has a 2 yo and is on her own she said she knows there's no way she can keep her. She's also expressed interest in me being in delivery room with her if she choses us. She wants an open adoption, which we are great with.

Anyway, our first adoption was completely through an attorney. This one would be completely independant. She said she had tenncare that would cover medical and all she wanted was to find the perfect parents for the baby. She's not asked for money. She told me she hadn't been to an attorney and didn't know if we could use the same one kind of in between our houses or what. our first attorney worked for both aparents and bparents. This is even so unexpected that we don't even have a new homestudy (it was quick last time though and we got it done in a month). She's due Jan 26.

So if she choses us, what's the next step?

Thanks guys!

[tobeafamily]

Lori,

Next step would be for her to contact your attorney to give permission to get medical records, information on biological father, counseling, etc.

Next step for you is to get a new homestudy done.

Best of luck.

Regina

[flowergoddess]

Thanks Regina.

I also wanted to tell you personally thank you for replying to a post of mine about a month ago regarding finding my dd's bmom. I took your advise, a search angel found me and in turn found dd's gmother. I called her immediately and we've been in touch ever since. Kennedy even talked to her on the phone. Unfortunatley, I think bmom doesn't want much to do with us right now, but at least we have established afresh our friendship with her grandparents.

Thanks for encouraging me to do that. It feels like a piece of the puzzle has been put back into place.



And to all my other forum friends...please keep this new situation in your prayers. I haven't ever tried an independant adoption, but so far haven't seen any red flags. Thank you all for your friendship and support.

[cathy102]

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in meeting this expectant mom. Like Regina, said, if she is intersted in a Adoption Plan, have her contact your Attorney, he/she will know what steps to take with her. Make sure your Attorney will offer counseling for her. Something that is must. I wouldn't even work with an Attorney that didn't offer any kind of Counseling. We had Counseling for my daughter's birthmom but she never took it. Not sure if my son's birthmom took up our offer on counseling or not. Our Agency closed about 1 year after my son was born. I would called a SW and get moving on your homestudy. Not sure how long that will take in your area. We had our homestudy complete in less than 4 weeks.

Please keep up posted on how things go..

[flowergoddess]

does the attorney need to be close in relation to where she lives or can we chose one closer to us?

[tobeafamily]

Actually, it's best to have two attorneys should you agree to connect - one representing her and one representing you.

For this, select an attorney whom you're comfortable with and who will represent you. They should be convenient to you. She doesn't need to visit the attorney in person if she prefers otherwise, she can very easily call.

Regina