[cmdunn1972]

Did anyone else see the Dateline NBC story from Fri, 9/23/05 where they did an update on the interracial twins (one caucasian, one black)? The twins have the same biomom (who is parenting them) and different biodads (one who is the biomom's husband and another who is a stranger). The boys are about 11 now, but Dateline has been following their story from their birth, so there were snippets from earlier interviews of the family.

Personally, I was distressed at the language that was used as it didn't appear at all positive. Especially in the snippets of earlier interviews, the Mom wondered aloud who was the 'real' Dad for her black child. I wanted to yell at my TV, "Your husband seems pretty real to me!"

Did anyone else who saw the show feel the same way? I'd like to get thoughts from those of us in the adoption triad, since we (apparently) tend to be better versed in positive language than some in the general population.

Here's a link to the Dateline story:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9453720/#050923a

TIA for your input!

[Hopp]

I didn't see the recent Dateline story, but I did see one last year about a couple in Europe about the same or similar situation. It was an IVF story where the instruments were not cleaned properly. Was it the same story or was this a US family?

Regardless, I do remember that the parents were positive about it, and the bio father of the black child said he wasn't the "father" the husband was, and he relinquished all rights. Very impressive of him, but sad at the same time.

[LisaCA]

I didn't watch the entire thing, just snippets, but there seemed to be an absence of black folks. I found that disturbing and hope they were just in the parts I didn't see.

[cmdunn1972]

It's the same couple as you saw, I think. They're from the Netherlands, and, yes, the fertility instruments weren't cleaned properly.

I agree that it was impressive of him to relinquish his rights like that. It must be difficult for him to find out that he has a child that he didn't know about after all these years.

[cmdunn1972]

The couple is from the Netherlands, which doesn't have a lot of racial diversity.

[Heather Jeane]

Originally Posted by cmdunn1972

The couple is from the Netherlands, which doesn't have a lot of racial diversity.

It's also important to point out that racial diversity is very much a western thing. Once you get away from the areas near the bases where I live, you will not see many people of African or Asian or native American descent.

It's even more important to understand that it's not a matter so much of other countries being closed to other ethnic groups so much as other ethnic groups (for the most part) are happy enough to stay in their own home lands. It seems many European countries, while having less diversity, have far less problems with racism when there is a minority present.

The awful fact is that western diversity is rooted in people who were either being run out of their own home countries or taken unwillingly from them. Then, once everyone ended up in the same area somewhat artificially, they had to learn to get along. I'd personally like to think that we have made good steps in that direction, but we shouldn't impose western mindsets on other countries.

[sneezyone]

Originally Posted by Heather Jeane

It's even more important to understand that it's not a matter so much of other countries being closed to other ethnic groups so much as other ethnic groups (for the most part) are happy enough to stay in their own home lands. It seems many European countries, while having less diversity, have far less problems with racism when there is a minority present.

People, of all races, go where there is opportunity. Yes, some have been moved or displaced involuntarily. But these days (and for the last couple hundred years) migration patterns are based more on economics. No one's happy "staying in their own home lands" when there are no jobs or resources. Immigration is a challenge to developed nations everywhere, including Europe. France, Great Britain, Spain and Italy have all seen influxes of non-Europeans (particularly North Africans) seeking a better way of life for themselves and their families. The racial tensions there, while different, are no less pronounced or intrenched (particularly in France) than they are in the U.S.

[Nevada Jen]

I saw the show and was somewhat entranced by it. I was not distressed by the language. I actually thought the parents were handling the situation quite well. I was impressed with how they were building self esteem in their children. I was a little distressed about the comment that they were sad that they lost touch with bio dad because he could have tought the black child what it was like to be a black man. Surely they can find another role model. But I agree, there just aren't many black people in the netherlands. There are parts of this country where it would be hard to find black people as role models as well.

I am really struck with these people's courage. Many of us go into adoption planning and prepared for a transracial adoption but to have adoption forced upon you in a geographic area that is not used to transracial families is really shocking.

Also, I thought it was interesting that there was very little focus on problems the black boy faced because of racism. It seemed his bigger problem was the non-twin comments.

Jen

[LisaCA]

okay, i understood it was the netherlands, which I've been to by the way, and I saw more black folks in ten minutes than i saw in that clip. I've also traveled to: england, scotland, ireland, spain, portugal, france, switzerland, italy, Mexico, canada and Egypt. All of these places have their own versions of diversity. My concern is that they now have a black son, which they've chosen to embrace (that's great), so now comes some responsibility.

europe in general is quite diverse, people have just chosen to ignore it. the netherlands have some places which have up to a third of the population belonging to an ethnic minority (which is how they describe them), primarily arab, muslim, african. From what I could find on the web, there are at least 320,000 turks, 273,000 moroccans, and over 500000 from other parts of africa.
As a group tend to bond together in larger cities, and maybe these folks with their sons have chosen to live in a smaller town. they now have the responsibility to give this kid the chance to see others that look like him.