[bohtieque]

Hello! I've been researching domestic adoption of an AA infant for at least a year now, and I've been focusing on working through private agencies.

However, for several reasons--one of them being finances--I've begun to wonder something: Is it possible to adopt a minority infant without special needs from a state-run agency? I don't think we'd like to foster--I have a job that won't be leaving to be a mom, and I don't want to have my heart broken over and over and over again as the children go back to their parents.

I know, I'm asking for the world, but it's just a question I have

TIA

Julie

[crick]

Well, like most things...anything is possible. However, it's not likely as most healthy infants do not get placed into foster care. Even if a mom has an adoption plan in mind, I suspect that the state programs would be at the very bottom of the options she would consider.

You might call your local county agency and ask how many placements you are hoping for actually happen.

[Momoffive1966]

Crick, I love your signature LOL

[MissyB9479]

It is possible to adopt without fostering but since TPR must be done first the child will be older. Most likely not a newborn (since most women who are going to chose to voluntarily relinquish rights will have made an adoption plan instead of placing the child in state care) and maybe even not an infant. Also, it's hard to know what type of needs these children will have down the road. They may have PTSD or attachment issues steming from whatever caused them to be put into care in the first place. And since people who lose custody to the state often have their own issues (addiction problems, undiagnosed mental health issues) you may have to deal with these things genetic factors as the child gets older.

I don't want to scare you off. Adoption from foster care can really work out well for all involved. It certainly costs less and the wait times can be less (depending on what you are looking for) but at the same time it comes with it's own problems. With private adoption you have a chance to get to know the birthparents and maybe even keep in contact with them. You take the child home from the hospital and you know what has happened to them. You may even get a detailed medical history from the biological family. These things are not as common in adoption from the state. Many of the big battles you will have are against question marks. But at the same time the child may never have any of those issues. Sometimes a child can have a great start in life and end up having problems and a child with a difficult start can end up doing great. You just have to be prepared for anything.

[sinesadopt]

We are in the process of adopting a bi-racial girl who will be 2 the end of August. She went into care directly from the hospital and has been with the same foster mom the entire time. We just completed our home study in May of this year after completing the required training by our state. When we started the training we were told that we would more than likely have a long wait for a child under three; however, anything is possible. We were selected for her less than one month after our home study was approved.

[Linny]

I"m with Crick on this one.......we've adopted seven children....with four being infant adoptions. The 'older child adoptions'.....very often come with their own set of problems....and, for us, this even meant a child who had just turned 3yrs old....had been taken from the home before two weeks of age, and had been in the same foster home until adoption.
If you are looking to adopt an infant.......it's been our experience, that crick's comment is right on target.

Good luck in whatever you choose.....

Sincerely,

Linny

[redhedded]

Hi bohtieque, Welcome. I am with Crick; I guess anything is possible but think this depends much on where you live. I read here often about people who adopted toddlers (10 months to 2 years) from the state. I think adopting infants is really really rare.

We investigated adopting through our state more than three years ago before our daughter arrived through a private agency adoption, and the information we received was not optimistic. First, straight adoption was not an option in my state; one must have been committed to the foster-to- adopt route in which there are no guarantees about permanency. (We were unwilling to do that.) Next they could tell me how many children had been placed under the age of 2 in the last 10 years; the figure was incredibly shockingly low. All of those placements of young children happened to families who were already fostering an older sibling of the young child. Most of the children had a special needs diagnosis.

There are several people on this forum who have used a "networking" service, which is essentially the same as a facilitator (unlicensed/unregulated service that matches expectant mothers with couple and/or their agency.) The difference: many networkers work closely with agencies to find an adoptive parent quickly if the agency does not have someone waiting who meets the expectant mothers "criteria." In addition, the networker, cost considerably less, with a nominal one time fee due at placement. (The "match" may require you to work with an agency that has a much bigger all inclusive fee or it may not; each situation is different.)
I think like agencies, attorney and facilitators, there are good ones and not so good ones, so one has to be diligent about finding out how they operate and with whom and to advocate for yourself throughout the process.

Good luck to you. Getting started can be so hard.

[BethanyB]

If you want to straight adopt an infant from the state, you probably won't have any luck. The others who responded were right in that the state TAKES children from their parents because of some type of neglect or abuse. Then the parents are given chances to rebuild their lives and change. Sometimes they are given WAY too much time. Usually 1 to 2 years due to the new ASFA laws. So legally freed children are usually 2 and up. UNLESS a parent decides he or she cannot do what is expected and then just gives up rights. Which I have not heard of happening too often.

I am in the fost/adopt program in NJ. Because I was open to race and gender, I only waited two days for my infant son. He was a perfectly healthy two week old baby. He is AA and his mom had addictions that she was dealing with. Because my son had a half sib in custody (for 2 years-since birth) my son's case went faster. He just turned one a few weeks ago and I should have an adoption date soon.

A child is usually considered fost/adopt because of circumstances that lead the state into thinking the child is not very likely to go home. Long term addictions, long jail sentences, a mother who has already had several kids taken from her. But there is always a chance the kids could go back.

Fost/adopt can work out great! Like in my case. But it is risky. Hope this helps!

Good luck on finding the child that was meant for you!

[momofmykids]

In TN, to adopt only through the state you can apply for:
*minority children of any age
*caucasian children over age 9
*children of any race or age who have "special needs" (medical issues, severe psychological or emotional issues, etc.)
*sib group of 3 or more

It is REALLY rare to adopt a baby through the state. It DOES happen...the day we got our youngest (part of a sib group), they were placing a CC/AA baby girl straight from the hospital with a couple who had been waiting to adopt only for (I think) about 6 years.

Lots of luck to ya...there are lots of older children who would love nothing more than to have a family!

[mommieof2cuties]

Julie, from what I am seeing and being told I would contact someone in South FL as the case before has had a two month old baby girl whose mothers rights were terminated... I understand we cannot give out some much information on her...but South FL DCF has a lot of what you might be looking for, check out Broward and Dade cities in South FL. If your open to a sibling group that could speed you up...

God Bless you on your search
Summer

[lisa in venice]

We had two infants placed thru foster/adopt thru a private agencies where the TPRs were in process in one case and in the other had already happened. In that state as well as in Los Angeles county infants who come into foster adopt are usually adopted by the family. They are most often chidlren who are born to mother who have two or more children in the system and the family memebers or foster family can't handle another child. Most of the people I know who adopted thru this county (or thru a private agency contracted by the county) had infants and toddlres placed. Most were drug impacted (as was one of ours) but none had serious long term issues. I doesn't hurt to check it out. In some places the policy with young childern is ALWAYS reunification but that is not always the case so you might want to just go to an informational meeting a see what the vibe is. At the agency we worked with they were clearly placing these kids for adoption and fostercare was only temporary but othr agencies really believe that foster parents have to "pay dues" and foster several chidlren before they are placed with a child that is likely to be adopted. Again in this county 90% of the kids placed in foster/adopt are adopted and most are under 3 year old.

lisa

[Sleeplvr]

I am one of those people who has gotten a newborn AA male from the state. He was healthy and 3 hours old when we got to the hospital. He was supposed to be straight adoption but things don't always go as planned with the state. His mom changed her mind about signing the relinquishment after she got out of the hospital. He was baby #5 and she couldn't handle another. She has never seen him and has made no attempt to see him. She just can't commit to signing. He's 3 months old now and will probably be 15-18 months old before this is resolved, unless his mom shows up and signs.
A majority of the infants that come into state care are born drug exposed or addicted. We had two previous children that were drug exposed/addicted. They were both considered low legal risk and on adoption track. Both ended up being sent to family. Most agencies will tell you that the only way to get a young child is foster to adopt.
I do hear of cases where abandoned babies are placed. But the agencies tend to place them with the families that have been waiting a long time. My county doesn't really like to deal with people who aren't willing to take some legal risk.