[Nevada Jen]

Did anyone see this show last night. I don't know if it is because we just recently adopted so I am over sensitive but I thought they portrayed adopted children in a bad light by suggesting that the reason the kids were delinquents was because they were adopted and therefor had abandonment issues. I found it particularly tasteless that they captioned the parents as "Adoptive Mother of Heather" It would be one thing if the adoption was recent but both kids were adopted at a young age (one was an infant adoption and one was a toddler from what I gathered) and they are now teenagers. Just curious if anyone else saw it and was offended.

Jen

[momofmykids]

I missed it and I'm glad! I can rant for days about parents continually either referring to themselves as "adoptive parent" or the child as "adopted child". I mean, at WHAT point do they just become "my kids"??? AAARRRGGGHHH!!! No wonder these kids have problems!!!

[icunurse]

I didn't see it, but it has been getting great reviews. Maybe email them with your concerns?

[mommieof2cuties]

I agree with you, I saw it last night and it made my sick! You cannot say one child is bad because it was adopted, it is all how the parents raised the child I think. We all take the wrong path at times in life and that makes us usually better people. Sometimes we have to take two steps back in order to move forward. Did you ever find out what that one girl was hidding? (did she place a baby?) My phone kept going off so I did miss some parts. I really thought this show was about how to better the children, not to really place blame, becase what happened, has already happened you cannot go back. You can only learn from it and move on....

God Bless,
Summer

[Nevada Jen]

I missed what she was hiding. I had intermittent adoptive baby duty . Hope someone can tell us! I think I will email them. THe concept of the show is good. I just did not like the negative emphasis on adoption. I thought the research actually showed that adoptive kids as a general population are better behaved, get better grades, are more popluar etc.

JEn

[mroot]

Jen - OOOOHHHH!! I am so glad I didn't see the show!!! It really irks me the way some shows and the media in general treat adoption. Our precious son is adopted. It is part of who he is and nothing will change that. But that does not make him any less ours!! And it is HIS story to tell, not mine!! He will tell it to whoever he chooses, when he chooses! As far as I'm concerned he's MY SON. Period. Thanks for the heads up!! If you find out who to write to, let me know!

[Gardenia]

I saw the show last night and was also upset that the made a huge issue that two of the kids were adopted. I just don't get it! The girl who was hiding something admitted that she was sexually molested by a family friend when she was in seventh grade. I don't really know if that needed to be addressed on national TV, either. Shouldn't that be a private issue between the girl, her parents, and her counselors, especially for someone her age? I'm assuming they all had to sign some sort of release knowing this was going to be shown on TV, though.

[Momoffive1966]

I did see the show and against popular opinion I LIKED THE CONCEPT. I was also ticked off at the alligation that adoption was the source of the problem. The parents are the source of the problem barring a chemical imbalance or mental illness. I think there are some people who adopt who create an unhealthy ideal about adoption to thier kids by either not letting them feel the void or dismissing thier feelings about being adopted. I think the show will be interesting to see how these kids respond to this unique style of rearing.

[klk88]

I saw the show last night too. It really bothered me about the "Adoptive parent" caption. That is really my pet peeve. I remember when Bob Hope died, they said he was survived by his adoptive children. For Pete's sake, his kids are in their 70's!

[stone]

Glad I did not continue watching the show.It was so boring,and gross I thought.I quit watching the show before the adoptive parent caption.That is so stupid to label them as adoptive parents.Duh!

[cathy102]

I watched about 10 minutes of it and got bored!!! Glad I didn't watch the rest of it!!!

[Linny]

You know.....I didn't see it, but dh did. He loved it. I have to comment on the 'adoptive parent' thing. A few years ago, I would have agreed to that captioning as being 'wrong'.
After what our family has gone through in the last few months, I can say that in our opinion (and my....has it changed...).....whenever you adopt a child that is not under 12 months old....you take a risk with the baggage that child/baby has. NEVER in my life would I have thought that one day I would say and believe that....but surely we do now.
And.....in light of the nightmares we are incurring right now with one other 'older child adoption'.....I have no problem when dealing with the courts and attorneys to say, 'this is our adopted son'....because what has happened has had nothing to do with the way we have raised him; but rather the damage inflicted to him by biologicals who, of course are out having more babies (perhaps?).....and certainly not in jail or paying any price for the damage done to the child or the rest of our family. And the damage is great....far worse than anything we could have ever imagined.
Brat Camp and the concept of 'making people responsible for their actions' is long overdue. IMO...the system--and much of society--- does little to make children accountable for their actions. Parenting that mindset is often explained in the 'that was a poor choice, little Johnny (sigh)...and put little Johnny in the corner'..........doesn't always 'cut it'......and that's why we have some children adopted (through the system) who have never had to answer for the actions they have done. It sometimes spreads out into puberty and adulthood...and the problems persist into society.

My guess is that the show will not last long, because some group will claim it is 'just too harsh for little Johnny'...and God Forbid people should have to face the consequences of their actions!!!! Better to have a judge tell them to 'go to the corner and think about it.!!!!!!

Walking off of the soapbox now......(but thanks for letting me vent..)

Sincerely,

Linny

[Lorraine123]

I agree with Linny. By stating "adoptive parents", that lets everyone know that those parents didn't cause the issue. In fact, those parents are trying to heal the damage caused by others. I posted on another thread about this same thing that maybe its a good thing to label them "adoptive parents". This lets the world know that these children come with much damage and all the love in the world can't heal them. I have been told countless times that if I love my daughter enough she will be "healed" of her past. Well, love doesn't heal FAS or PTSD or even RAD. I do agree that "adoptive children" should not be used in most cases (like Bob Hope), but this situation is different. In this case its relevant I think.

[dadfor2]

wow..i saw this thread and as i was reading, i had a lot to say..then i read linnys.....i totally agree with you.

my feeling was that they didnt make the behaviors an adoption issue, they were just highlighting under their names that they were adopted.

also, for me, i get sick to my stomack when i see shows like 'adoption stories' and how wonderful everyone is...

when in my reality....its not a hallmark moment.

i am acutally hoping they expand more on the adoption issue...i know the children have behavior issues, but why?

do these kids come from abuse or neglected backgrounds? what age were they adopted at?

and that poor little guy, 'hyperactive' was under his name.....there was much more going on with this little guy that i think 'brat camp' isnt what he needs....i felt so bad for him.

heres a news flash for everyone...

i have been inside these children residential programs, and yes, i will say at least 95% of them were in the foster care system due to abuse and neglect...

and witnessing these childrens behaviors, there is not question on why they are there...

a couple of things did bother me about the show...first, the girl who kept crying...boy oh boy did she get on my nerves...

plus, some of the letters the parents wrote...it wasnt even about their children but about themselves..which i thought said alot...

i am like linny.....when we are talking about my son to professionals...i will be right there saying that he is our adoptive son...make no mistake about it...we did not abuse him, we did not neglect him, and his behaviors are not our fault....

because if you dont, the first place they will look at why the child is acting the way he is acting, is the parents....and i refuse to take blame for what happened to my child...he does not have PTSD for something that i did as his parent.

i like the fact that they told us....i want to see if they will take it further, but they didnt....

kids that have suffered abuse and neglect do have some behavioral issues...

anyway, thats my two cents

[mlbsands]

I also really liked the show and only thought one of them was adopted.. when they mentioned that and they said that he had some issues with being adopted I actually paied more attention.. as much as I don;t want my kids to having issues just at the thought of being adopted.. I do accept that is the case with some kids (or atleast they FEEL that way) and I think that is all they were saying.. not that being adopted caused his issues..

Anyway.., I like it.. the campo has been around for a while and is successful, so are other places like it.. as for the girl admiting her abuse issues.. I am fine with that.. it was thier choice to do so and have in on TV, might not have been my choice, but it was hers and maybe this will help her more.

Anyway.. I plan to keep watching.. I like it and hope to learn more..

Mandy