[rastachris]

I need some help here. We were contacted about a situation yesterday in which the birth mother did drugs the first four months of the pregnancy. I know that the first trimester is the most critical for the developing baby and this is the time when drug exposure can be most harmful to the brain and nervous system.

We have very preliminary information at this time and don't know which drugs were used and how often. We don't feel like this is the right situation for us if hard-core drugs were used regularly.

If there is anyone who has adopted a drug-exposed baby who could tell us about your child and any problems he/she has had as a result of exposure, I'd appreciate it. Also, if anyone has a good on-line resource for researching the affects of drug exposure, I'd appreciate it. We'll be talking with the facilitator again this morning to find out more information and decide if we'd like to proceed.

Thanks for you help!

[alwaysus]

Our babys birth mother shot up meth every day of her pregnancy.( her first pregnancy, not the baby we are adopting now) She had zero pre natal care. Paul did have problems at first. He was born with the meth in his system. He had a very rough new born period. He had MAJOR sensory problems for the first couple years of his life, but those are almost all gone now. He is a very smart, lovable little 5 and a half year old and we are thrilled that we were able to adopt him.
I would be more afraid of alcohol exposure than I am of drug exposure. Of course the best thing would be for expectant mothers not to use ANYTHING we know that thas not realistic.

Good luck,

[redhedded]

alwaysus, While I know, as an adoptive parent, that one may be often be presented with a situation in which drugs and alcohol have been used, and while I certainly was willing to consider a situation of drug usage (not alcohol) on a case by case basis, I do not think it is unrealistic for birthmothers to behave both responsibly and in the best interests of her child while pregnant. I know, because I have two children from such pregnancies; with my dd there was zero prenatal care and very late care with my son. Neither had ANY in utero drug, alcohol or tobacco exposure. My daughter's birthmother is bright, healthy and emotionally stable; she lacked financial stability and support, which led her to place.

I just wanted to clarify that there are many women out there who place for a myriad of reasons; they may be just like you and me.

Tina, While I have not been in such a position, I certainly knew what was okay with us for consideration and what was not; alcohol, especially early, was never under any consideration for us. Children who are exposed to drugs in utero may have a difficult start but often catch up by the time school begins with early intervention. I, personally, would be much more concerned about stimulants, such as methamphetamines, than something such as heroin exposure. May I suggest that you contact your pediatrician, whom you hopefully trust and can confide in, and ask some very specific questions. Wishing you luck and peace; I will be thinking of you during this difficult time.

[alwaysus]

Red,
Notice that I said expectant mothers. Not potential birth mothers. I would NEVER lump all birth parents into any category. Sadly, I know of far more irresponsible biological parents than I do irresponsible birth parents.
I do however appreciate you pointing it out regardless.

Lana

[amaz5]

Rastacris, all 3 of our children were exposed to drugs in utero. Ranged from cocaine, marijuana, sniffing paint, and heroine (smoked - no injected). Minimal to moderate alcohol exposure during 1st trimester.
Both older children were born with positive tox screens. Our youngest was exposed during first two months but bmother was put into "lockdown" and received prenatal care as well as rehab so baby was born drug free.
All 3 are incredibly smart, active, ahead of the curve in cognitive skills and abilities, very vocal, and with wonderful personalities. Oh yeah, and they are 1 yr, 2 yr, and 3 yrs old.
In spite of rough beginnings, all are strong healthy happy well adjusted children. Doc is very impressed with them. LOL

Now, this does not mean that all children exposed in utero will do so well. We feel, based on our personal experience, that the care nutrition and love provided to the baby/child makes a big difference in helping them to overcome obstacles and succeed in life. We were very blessed that all 3 have done so well and did not have any lingering effects from the exposure.

Our social worker did tell us that the two oldest may show signs of ADD around school age and we are preparing for that possibility with research, etc. So far our eldest has shown no signs at all of any learning disorders and he will be 4 this winter.

It's a hard decision to make because you just never know. Try to get more definite information about the drugs, any alcohol use and frequency, any prenatal care, drug testing since she stopped using etc. All this will be helpful in making your decision. You could also talk to a pediatrician who has experience with babies exposed in utero to get some medical questions answered if that would help.

Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Emmy

[punchkin]

I have 4 such kids right now. They are all doing great. Although I should say that every situation is different. DD was born addicted to crack. Bmom used the whole time she was pregnant. In fact the day she had the baby, they had to detox mother and child for 3 days before they could safely deliver baby. Her first year was the hardest, and I cried right along with her at times. She did not learn how to read until 2nd grade. Fast forward she is now an honor roll student, who will be a freshman this year. The school wanted to skip her a grade, but i refused. She has plenty of time to grow up.
Our second one is now 13. Same mom. was fed crack from the time of conception up until she was born. Fast forward, she is also an honor student. The school system
could not believe that they came from such a situation, and are the little ladies they are today.
# 3 same mom, same everything. She's wonderful in every sense of the word. Although she makes good grades it doesn't come as easy to her. Partly because she is lazy She hates school.
Our fourth one was also born addicted. Different mother. She had to stay in nicu for 2 weeks, had a stroke while in uthero, which affected her whole left side. She had 3 cysts in her head. She had to go to O.T. and P.T. had to be fitted for braces, was on siezure meds. Fast foward. She is doing great. Came off meds at 3 months. Graduated therapy ahead of time, cysts disappeared. Everyone is amazed at this little girl. They think she is about 3. Even her doctors can't believe how good she is doing, and how smart she is.
I just picked up another baby from NICU yesterday who is drug exposed. She's 12 days old and I will adopt her if given the chance.
Also with the first 4 their moms drank as well.
I have to give all the Honor and the Praise to my Lord and Saviour. Again I feel very blessed to have these kids in my life, but every situation is different. AND, let me say that i'm not saying that all cases will end on a postive note. Only each person knows what they can or can not deal with. If you are interested in a baby in this situation, my best advice to you is to expect the worst, and pray for the best. Good luck!!!!!!!

[punchkin]

I forgot to say that DD never needed the braces!

[leaabc123]

Our girls were both born tox positive for cocaine. our previous f-son is likely to have been alcohol exposed as well as was tox positive for cocaine and possibly crack.

I can tell you that our 17 month old is slightly delayed but seems to be catching up, just moving at her own pace. The 2 1/2 year old seems to be on target but I can see where she might have attention issues when in school later.


alcohol is much harder on a fetus than drugs sometimes. It seems that the placenta does more to block the drugs than the alcohol.

It is not predictable how each child is going to react to drug exposure. They may have many problems initially but catch up later or they could seem fine now and have problems down the line, or no problems at all, or ongoing problems.

Good luck whatever you decide.

[Missourimomtobe]

Hi - our daughter was born cocaine positive and her bio mom tested positive for every illegal drug the hospital tests for at several different points in her pregnancy. She was injecting coke the night our baby was born.

Our baby is 3 months old and shows zero signs of the drug exposure to date. We will be watching her for learning problems and other things as she grows, but for now, she is a happy, healthy little girl.

In my research, I found that alcohol use during pregnancy was the one thing I did not want to deal with. Every person is different, though, so if you aren't a risktaker, this might not be the situation for you.

Peace,