[ohiotoups]

I usually don't post here just lurk in the shadows, but I am in a position now that I could use some advice. I have a family friend who is in a difficult situation. Her daughter, who is 35, is pregnant. The family friend, who is 64, is already raising her daughter's two children. She has plainly stated that she isn't in a position to raise any more children due to her age and financial status. Her pregnant daughter is currently living with her, but is unable to work or take care of herself due to poor choices and a medical condition. My friend believes that the only solution is adoption and would be thrilled if I adopted this child, but her daughter won't hear any of it. She thinks that her mother will give in and raise this child along with the other two. The birthfather is not involved and is in a similar situation as the birthmother. I have suggested getting her some couseling so that maybe she could better understand what her choices are. I also have suggested talking with the social worker that I used in my last adoption because she was fantastic. I am just at a loss as to what to do. I want to help in any way I can and let my heart be open to the possibilty of parenting this child, but at the same time realizing that this is a remote possibilty. My heart just bleeds for this unborn child and it's uncertain future.

[mroot]

Ohio - I truly understand your heartbreak as we were in a similar situation before we adopted our son. Our situation was a 15 year old birthmom who parented the child for 6 weeks, then dropped the child off at her grandma's house. Grandma was a nurse and in her 60's and stated to family members that she could not raise a newborn and wanted to find a good home for the baby, because she already has other grandchildren that she is raising. At the time we were told about the situation, the baby was a little girl 6 months old and developmentally on target. We were so interested, but the grandma ended up unable to part with her. I was heartbroken and so wanted that little girl, and wonder to this day how she is doing. I pray that if it is meant for you to parent this child, that all will work out for you, and if not, that another situation will come your way soon!

[numbr1dbcksfan]

I think that talking to the social worker and helping her understand her choices is great!

Perhaps she can have some follow up visits from a parenting helper to help her learn to care for her baby...

How totally sad. Good Luck to you.

[ohiotoups]

What is a parent helper and where I can suggest she find one?