[maxkinzie]

Can anyone tell me just what it might mean to be told your 6 month old is spoiled??? Seems I was just being told yesterday how happy/social/bonded dh is, and this weekend I was told she was spoiled (I disagree). Isn't 6 mos a little young to be spoiled? Am I spoiling her by being able to tell what she needs and tending to it?- she does play alone and is happy to meet new people if she's comfortable. As a full time s.a.h. mom I would expect her to want ME when she's tired/hungry/scared, (especially after travelling all day and being in a new place)

Just wonder what other parents think. I was pretty hurt by the comment, but don't think this relative really meant it as an insult... but "spoiled" just isn't a good thing in my understanding.

Bottom line, I don't want to do wrong by her, I welcome all input! thanx

[Leigh131313]

Don't you just hate it when people try to be negative? Anyhoo, its absolutely ridiculous!! In MY opinion....spoiling is about allowing your child to have negative behaviors without correcting them, NOTHING to do with time spent with them.

Love on that baby!! That's what a baby is for!

Leigh

[cynthia900]

Hi,

I remember being told by my ped that you can't spoil a child until they are one year old so go for it and love that baby and don't worry while they are this young.. and enjoy...they grow so fast.

[LisaCA]

First let me say that I'm a first time mom (dd 10.5 months) so take this for what it's worth. people just love to say negative things, esp if you look really happy with your child. I think 6 months is early to be accused of spoiling. With dd, she didn't really seem to be a sentient being until 6 months. That's the age we started to try and control her behavior somewhat (don't touch mommy's glasses for example). Frankly, being a kid is about being spoiled: you know if you scream loud enough folks come running, esp if your parents are doing it right. Everyone jumps at your every expressed desire: you grunt and you get it (most of the time) and when you don't you cry and fuss. The fact that she wants you means she's well bonded. The fact that she doesn't want to be fondled by strangers means she's got common sense. Take this comment and laugh at their ignorance.

[Overwhelmed!]

Originally Posted by maxkinzie

Can anyone tell me just what it might mean to be told your 6 month old is spoiled??? Seems I was just being told yesterday how happy/social/bonded dh is, and this weekend I was told she was spoiled (I disagree). Isn't 6 mos a little young to be spoiled? Am I spoiling her by being able to tell what she needs and tending to it?- she does play alone and is happy to meet new people if she's comfortable. As a full time s.a.h. mom I would expect her to want ME when she's tired/hungry/scared, (especially after travelling all day and being in a new place)

Just wonder what other parents think. I was pretty hurt by the comment, but don't think this relative really meant it as an insult... but "spoiled" just isn't a good thing in my understanding.

Bottom line, I don't want to do wrong by her, I welcome all input! thanx

maxkinzie- our DS is 5 months old (as of 5/22). We shower him with love and affection every day because we love him to bits! Just within the past couple of weeks, he's begun to show a preference for us over others...someone will be holding him, he'll see either DH or I, and he'll get a big grin on his face and reach out to us, making it clear that he wants us to hold him! It makes us feel so good and thankfully when it's happened, the person holding him has responded with a kind comment along the lines of "Well isn't that cute, he obviously knows who his mommy/daddy is!"

I do not considered our DS spoiled in the least, nor should you feel that way about your DD. I really feel they're both too young to be spoiled. At this age, they need all the love and affection they can get! Later, when our DS starts throwing tempertantrums, then we'll deal with that issue.

Don't listen to the negativity of others. As other posters have said, someone always seems to have "advice" to give and it usually comes across as a derogetory attitude towards your parenting style. Ignore these people! You and only you (well, okay, maybe your DH too) know what's best for your baby!

[Liepolds]

At 6 months it is impossible to spoil a baby.

We are told by my DH family that we dote on Nate too much. I have asked my Mom what she thinks and she tells me that no, we don't and my Dad's family said the same thing to her.

My mom told me to reply, that we waited for Nate for 9 years and if we want to dote we will!

Just enjoy your baby and screw what people have to say!!

Kim

[tobeafamily]

I agree - it's impossible to spoil a 6 month old baby. When my son was that young, we held him constantly, never let him cry, etc. We did get some Nosey Parkers who told us their views on parenting - crying is good for his lungs, you'll spoil him if you carry him all the time, etc.

At first it really bothered me. Then I just looked at these people sweetly and said 'it's called attachment parenting. Thanks.' and moved on.

Ryan is now 3, a very secure, bonded, sweet-tempered child. People compliment us on his behavior all the time, even when I think he's being rotten . Now they say "I want my child to be like yours. How did you do it?"

It seems to be a rite of parenthood - we all get all kinds of 'advice'. Some useful, most not. It's whatever works for you and your family that counts.

Hang in.

Regina

[kllee4]

As the mother of four well-adjusted, well-mannered, and very closely bonded young men (ages 15 to 8), I say "SPOIL AWAY!!!!!"

Although my sons were preemies and part of their progress included lots of bonding from the incubator until well after they came home, we still held them, rocked them and bonded with them constantly!

I get the same comments about what we actually did to raise such wonderful children and we respond "Just love them to death!"

So I would say not to worry too much about it because all they need is lots and lots of your love!

[momofmykids]

Just think of the word "spoiled" and what that means. I hate it when people refer to children as "spoiled". Spoiled is lumpy milk that's been sitting in the fridge too long, or meat that has turned green! EWWWWW!!!

[spaypets]

What are you supposed to do? Let her be hungry or wet?

Spoiled children are ones who get what they want by throwing tantrums after they've been told no. A 6 month old baby is supposed to get her needs met and since she's not verbal she has to do it by crying.

That's not to say you have to jump at every whimper (I mean at night). But I fail to see how you could possibly be spoiling your baby. The proof is in the pudding. Spoiled children are unhappy because kids really don't want to be running the show.

[amyway_j]

I always take it as a compliment. I usually tell people I waited five years for her and I will spoil her all I want.

I think comments like that bothered me more with my first child and now they don't usually phase me.

Amy

[ccmccoy]

I have a bio 7 yo and 16 month old (waiting to adopt) I was told that with both my children and I always smile hold my child close to my face and laughingly say "Isn't that the way every child should be?" That usually shuts them up!!!

Everyone has a different definition of spoiled. I think that the parents know their children better than anyone else, and should do what they think is best for their child. Try not to worry about your relative and just keep doing what you FEEL is right for you and your child. No one knows their child better than the mother.

Cheryl

[katieb31323]

She sounds a lot like my 7 month old! And nah, she isn't spoiled. She is well bonded to her SAHM. She knows if she has a problem (wet, tired, hungry, scared) I am the one most likely to figure it out and fix it.

Your DD sounds much the same. Enjoy every minute you can with your well bonded sweetheart! phoohy on any nay sayers!

Kathy

[sugarbabysmommy]

For me this line of thinking is akin to saying a 6 mon. old is controling or manipulative.

My DH, MIL, FIL, SIL, her DH, and my child (about 13 mon. at the time) were all sitting at the dining table and we could hear the ever rising whimper of my SIL's baby. He was sitting on the floor (being ignored by his parents, not even a "hi, how are ya" now and then) in a bouncy seat 10 feet away from all of us while we all sat at the table. He got louder and louder. If this was my kid he would have been at the table with us in my lap, instead they let him sit and complain.

So my SIL eventually picks him up, he stops crying, and is happy to join us at the table. To this the baby's father says, "Well, I see you got your way finally." Huh? He was 4 months old!! How would you like it if I strapped you in a chair, left you on the floor, and didn't bother to talk to you? This is the same kind of thinking, and is best ignored!

[maxkinzie]

Thank you all for your input! I guess I really did know that she wasn't spoiled, but it got lost in hurt, and fear that I was "ruining" her! Thanks again, y'all are great!