[LisaCA]

dh and I are traveling to the denver area this weekend without dd. dh is on business there and is receiving this award from his company (must be big since they're paying my way to attend the dinner, etc). I'm going but leaving dd behind to be with my sister for 48 hours. We hope to move to that area in the next 1-2 years, so I'm taking advantage of this and checking out neighborhoods (anyone with info on boulder or denver area please let me know which neighborhoods to check out).

anyway, I'm anxious about leaving dd, mostly because if something happens I'll have to hate my sis and she's the only immediate family member that I like.

anything to make me feel better? I'm leaving behind a book about dd for sis, who will probably ignore it. I know because I did the same for my cats and she ignored it, much to her dismay. Still, she hasn't learned anything from the experience.

dh has traveled before and it doesn't seem as grim to him. sis is not a serial murder (or even a single murderer- or so I think), has raised a child, though my nephew is 20, has some common sense, though she is my little sister so naturally my feeling is not enough common sense. Anyway, as I type my book of what to do, who to contact and what not to feed dd, I'm freaking out. I know I'm not the first mom to leave a child so anything to help me realize that emotionally would be great.

Lisa

[MMC66]

In through the nose......count to three slowly...out through the mouth...REPEAT

DD will be fine. What would suck is if you weren't able to enjoy your weekend away with DH uninterrupted by the little angel.

I find it's a good idea to prearrange times to call and check in. That way you're not driving your sis crazy calling every 10 minutes and you can have something to look forward to. (that's what I do anyway)

Make sure sis knows how to use spray and wash, that's been my biggest beef with leaving my kids with my parents overnight

You'll have fun and DD will too.

Martha

[Nevada Jen]

Your writing a book for her?!! Wow you have it bad. I would suggest a summary page at the front with the feeding schedule (how much of what she eats should be included), a sleeping schedule and the top 5 reasons my daughter is crying section, nanny number, your address for if she calls 911. Keep the summary to one page. If she follows the summary, I don't think too much damage can be done in 48 hours. Your cats are still alive, I assume.

As to Denver, I was just there, oddly enough to check out the residential building going on out there. Go to Homebuilder dot com (but do it as a web site) and enter what you are looking for. There is a bunch of building going on around the airport. There are also beautiful older houses with lots of personality in Cherry Hill where you will definately be able to purchase the all the important designer duds for DD. Also, check the weather before you go. It was way colder than I had a concept of. I really wished I owned a pair of closed toe shoes for the trip.

I am pretty sure you can purchase a whole suburb there in place of you current home. By the way, not to knock the city but it appeared to have a very limited mix of races in the upper middle class.

Have fun. Your daughter will be just fine with your sister for a couple of days.

Jen

[LisaCA]

so very hard to breathe. Have a guy coming out tomorrow to give us an estimate on the cleanup for the flood-suspect $10000 to $25000. I think I've finally stopped breathing.

yes, the cats are still alive, but barely. We listed everything including favorite hiding places. one of my cats hates her (decided she's the antichrist) and so he hid most of the time. It was time for her to get on the plane home and couldn't find him. she panicked knowing my cats are my babies and I'd kill her, crying, ran over to a neighbor and they scour the area and house. There he is sleeping in the closet (where I told her he would be!!!)- ugh. so sad.

jen, thanks for the info on the website and neighborhood. our lives are less upscale now that I'm a stay at home mom (plus the cash for the natural spring repairs). Designer duds at resale shops is what we're working on . Hoping to move to colorado and see our expenses shrink a tad, buy a home that cost less than 3/4 of a million .

I know about denver and boulder's racial diversity issue. Less diverse that Los angeles, but acceptable for me, at least I think. We will avoid the painfully white areas and try for the funkier artist type areas which are usually more diverse.

martha and jen, thanks for the tips on making schedules and the book summary . as a control freak, giving my baby over to someone (who will clearly do everything wrong!) is a tad difficult. hoping to work on that....someday....later....

Lisa

[sugarbabysmommy]

nothing constructive to add, just wanted to say I'd be freaking out- and pasting pages of "the book" around sis's house, frig door, toilet seat, tv remote...

have a good trip...

[Nevada Jen]

In that case, definately look at Cherry Hill. My guess is that 750 gets you a large house (3000+ feet) and a yard.

Have fun. And don't worry, she will not lose your daughter in a closet. SUrely she learned her lesson last time.

[LisaCA]

jen-you don't know my sis. no lesson learned there-ugh. And we're hoping for a 2400 sq foot house for less.thanks for the tip.

sugarbabysmommy-omg you read my mind. I've already begun pasting tips on bathing in the bathroom, feeding tips in the kitchen, etc. soooo sad. The book will be everywhere. Oh and there's a book on the cats (updated from last time) and a book on the bunnies. trying to figure out how to disable the tv so she doesn't let dd watch it-really need to step back for a moment. She actually asked me if dd could have jamba juice-at 10 months! who knows what's in those boosts let alone the berries, etc. ugh. also asked about french fries-very scary. The list of what not to feed her is long and has really obvious things on it like dirt, chocolate and trees .

[Jensboys]

Lisa ... You do realize that she is probably posting on some Mothers of Adults board about her sister who has gone completely NUTS over her first baby!

As a mother of 4 (oldest now 10) ... trust me, you will mellow with time, or #2. Those old jokes about with the first you sanitize the pacifier when in falls on the floor, with the second you rinse it under the tap, with the third you lick it clean, and with the fourth, you wipe the mark it made on the floor -- They are TRUE!!!

Jen

[redhedded]

Lisa, I think you and I are quite similar in our OCD and "control issues." Many told me that I would change with number two's arrival. Nope! No way! No how! I still tell strangers, "look but do not touch the baby" and ask friends and family, "did you JUST wash?" I am quite particular about food (good thing with two babes with apparent serious allergy/eczema issues) and would most certainly be writing a book about what Christiane coud have and not have! In fact, I left my darling mother, who is quite conscientious and once a mother to two babes herself, a long list of dos and don'ts and in betweens when she began keeping dd at 5 months of age while I was at work for a few hours a day. She was so sweet and did EVERYTHING just how I asked her to.

Have a safe trip and a great time! And congrats to your dh on the prestigious award.

[kllee4]

I cannot stop laughing over here!!!!!!!! I WISH I had had the time to be that thorough as a parent leaving my boys!!!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!!!! ANYONE who was willing to sit with 4 kids under 6 years of age for even 15 minutes saw me running, I mean RUNNING, out of there as though the house was on fire!!!!!! Hahahahahahaha

Seriously, though, enjoy your trip. She'll be all in one piece when you get back and probably so HAPPY to see YOU that it will be all worth it. Although, you might have to softly rub out the wrinkiles in her forehead as she will probably be looking strangely at your sister at the things she is doing to her and for her! HEE HEE I'm guessing, though, that she'll have a ball and wonder how in the world she can change you into a mommy who lets her get happy off of jamba juice!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats to hubby and enjoy your trip!

[Jensboys]

Klee4 --- LOL I am SOOOOOO with you on this one. As a homeschooling mom of 4 boys who lives far away from any family, not only do I run out the door with great speed when given the chance, I kiss the feet of the person doing it!!! My goodness, it only happens about once every year and a half!!! If they want to feed the kids popcorn & popsicles the entire day - LUCKY KIDS!

I think thats an important thing though, eventually the child learns about different ways of doing things that their "normal" isnt everyone's normal. That some homes and adults have different rules. Its a good thing. And breaking the rules for a day or two isnt going to be the end of the world.

But with my first baby, I was extremely anal about his schedule and I do have somewhere in the archives of my computer, a 3 page list I wrote for grandma when we left him overnight once. And I do think that a routine with the little ones does make them more secure when they are away from mom and dad.

[alwaysus]

Ummm, I feel like maybe I need therapy. My oldest is almost 17, and the only time I have left the kids overnight is when I had to go to the hospital.
My kids are home schooled as well.
My kids have no separation issues, they can leave just fine, its ME that has the problem. Thank GOD I have a patient and understanding husband.

Good luck and have tons of fun!!!!!!

[Jensboys]

Alwaysus -- lol well if we are going to be honest, I will absolutely admit that last weekend I left the kids for 24 hours (the first time in a year). By the 23rd hour I was going batty missing them. The first 22 hours though -- the peace and quiet was BLISSFUL! I LOVE being with my kids ... but a break every once in a while does us all good!

[LisaCA]

hey, I was happy about this trip at first, then as I started writing my instruction book that's when I panicked. I am looking forward to being childless for 2 days-wonder what I'll do with myself. Probably spend the days wondering where I left the baby...

I made my sis come up for the past two weekends so I could see how dd was with her (made that mistake with the cats-one of them really hates her-I think she sounds and looks like me but isn't me and that freaks him out). dd was just fine so I'm reassured that she'll adapt-what sis will do is the question . and yeah, she thinks I'm crazy and too overprotective and yet the fact that I let dd fall on her butt while trying to stand is disturbing to her-go figure. That plus all those foods the doc says to introduce in stages-I think 20 years ago you just started feeding the kid at 3 months or so and let it go...

I have to say that when the nanny came into my life after 6 weeks with dd's colic, I cried tears of joy and relief, handed her over, then walked away . If the nanny were watching her for two days, fine. Of course I can't afford that-so sis is the cheap alternative.

like jensboys says, the list serves two purposes: keeping the schedule to not freak out dd, and to make sure all the stuff my sis eats doesn't get into dd. when she's older she'll make the perfect aunt-taking her to fun places and giving her junk food. I just have to make sure dd lives thru these younger days sans allergies before she can gobble the jamba juice.

red-I do think we're quite similar. I suspect I won't let up with the next kid. some things I control like her food and where she plays and visits (such as no zoos, for example. they're prison camps for wild animals IMHO), but other things are fine with me. wiping the pacifier that dropped on the floor on my shirt and giving it to her is fine with me. watching the neighbor dog lick her bottle and then before I can grab it she sticks it in her mouth-oh well. She's already put a bunny poop in her mouth (quickly retrieved by mom and dad), so I guess we can't get much worse than that:-).

btw, dd's getting her first teeth, two bottom ones. we decided that she should bite my sister first -quite the honor.

thanks for making me giggle guys. Nice distraction from the panicky moments. I knew you guys would pull me back from the brink .

lisa

[LisaCA]

just returned from trip to denver and boulder and much to my amazement, dd and sis both survived. sis even wants to do it again-go figure. she did say it was exhausting, and she'd forgotten how tiring a 10 month old can be, but wants to babysit again.

we only called about 20 times friday, then 3 times saturday. In fact, sis called on saturday because she was concerned that we hadn't called for a few hours .

denver and boulder were great, think we'll be moving there in the next year or so. Just need to decide which one. I'm voting for boulder since it's nice and liberal, with a ton of places for a vegetarian to shop, dine, and be happy.. Just need to check out specific school districts, and a few details before we send dh out to try and get a transfer, etc. amazingly, the housing prices are really great, at least compared to Los angeles, which is insane.

I'm just trying to figure out how I'll live without trader joe's and Macy's-I guess other people do it so I can too.

turns out dh received two awards from his company, so he was quite the guy. very proud of him (and myself since I take care of dd, plus everything else so he can put in those 60+ hour work weeks). Very nice of the company to fly spouses out for the event. I enjoyed my per diem on a fancy dinner. The problem was that on our first weekend without baby all we could do was sleep . He'd dead tired because of work, and I'm dead tired because of baby and work-so pathetic.

anyway, i want to thank everyone for the hand holding. you were right, everyone survived intact. Met one of dh's coworkers who brought their 15 month old along, but left him in the room with a babysitter recommended from the hotel . I think it will take me a few more months before I can do that-and I'll be on the board for handholding . thanks again,

Lisa