[redhedded]

Like Spay and her dh, we were plenty happy to be childless - eating and playing pool at 3 am, traveling the globe and sleeping late on weekends. Then we decided we would like to be parents. I had never wanted to be pregnant and had health problems. We decided the time was right and we were ready. (dh was informed pre cohabitating that no child would be born from MY body; he said no problem.) Now we cannot imagine our lives without our perfect babes!

[LisaCA]

when I was 5 years old I wanted to have ten boys and ten girls . upon maturity I realized exactly what that entailed. I also saw that in the 60s and 70s, it was pretty hard for women to have a career and kids too. decided I wanted to be single and childfree like my aunt, travel the world and have fun. met dh in college, started dating after college, he knew I wasn't into "the kid thing" and was fine with that. When he proposed after 5 years together, made sure he knew "no kids, but I reserve the right to change my mind, and if we do, we'll adopt" . He's fine with it. fast forward a few years and I have a few blood clots (clotting disorder). while on bed rest and recuperating, feeling crappy while taking blood thinners for what seem like forever, started to reevaluate life after my brush with death (lets just say I waited a bit before going to the emergency room-duh). I realize then that I wanted to "think about the kid thing". Thought about it quietly for three years before saying anything to dh, who nearly fell over from the shock. He thinks about it, we talk about it, and decide "okay, kids it is". Start researching adoption at the same time I'm presented with a job opportunity about 400 miles away. means living apart from dh for two years (commuter marriage very common in academia) and clearly no adoption. Put adoption plans on hold since no one will give us a child while we fly back and forth . Decide, after much consultation with docs etc that i'm afraid of being too old as a first time mom so we should do something for those two years, so I bite the bullet and try reproduction. scared to death by docs defining what would be a "very high risk pregnancy". Failed miserably at babymaking but suspect my body wasn't really thrilled with the idea (my head certainly wasn't). Saw the birth film in B/W in 8th grade, nearly passed out and vomited. Still, it was a little annoying not to succeed at something (yuppie syndrome). Resume adoption plans asap when we merge households again, taking classes and reading everything, all the while saving money. Move and finally were able to summit the paperwork. Homestudy complete by first week in june, dd arrives first week of july .

Not sure why adoption was so important to me. I know my family is very pro-adoption, and two of my first cousins are adoptees. I do know that my family felt a strong community tie and dh and I feel strongly that their aren't enough black aparents available for formal adoptions. since the idea of being pregnant strikes me more like the movie "alien", this is clearly where we should be . at first we thought we'd do toddler adoption, but we realize after reading a bit that we are clueless and our work schedules (involving foreign and domestic travel) mean that we would not be the best parents for a child with attachment issues. Plus, a newborn is more forgiving about your parental cluelessness .

we are loving this and can't wait to do it again.

[honu]

The differences in our stories is amazing to me! Please everyone keep them coming.

[Guspiv]

Before my hubby and I married we talked about adoption. I had always wanted to adopt a child from foster care because growing up I knew other kids who grew up in foster care who had moved from home to home and I knew as an adult I wanted to give a child a permanant home. We decided that we would do this after we gave birth to a few children.
Well once we decided to try getting pregnant we ran into some problems. I did not really want to do fertility treatments but we tried a few rounds of clomid and then moved towards some injectables. We did the injectables for two nights and one the third night I was in my bathroom preparing for my injection and I just said "I want to be a mother more than I want to be pregnant". It was that simple to me.
My hubby agreed that he didnt want us to continue withe the treatments (I had all kinds of mood swings etc) and I had already said injectables were as far as i would go because personally I did not want to continue on to any things invasive. We did research and larter came to the decision together as a couple. It has proven to be wonderful! And we know that our son was meant to be our son without a shadow of a doubt!

[Deanna&Alex]

I always wanted to be pregnant and a mommy. When we first decided to try to get pregnant I read every pregnancy book on the rack and had a clear birthing plan ready before we had even been trying for 6 months. After almost a year of charting, temping, etc we went to RE's to get checked out, we both check out 100% healthy "fertile" and perfect . We went to 3 of the best RE's in Southern California. We did 1 non medicated IUI, 1 Clomid IUI and 1 injectable IUI, and another month of injectables that screwed me up and my system. I had big problems with the last round of injectables and they couldn't do an IUI. We had decided we didn't want to do IVF because they couldn't tell us what was wrong. One night (January 7th to be exact) I looked at my DH and I said, " I think we should adopt". He looked at me and said, "That's the smartest thing you have ever said." It was one of the most special moments of our marriage. We have felt relief since that night even though we have the anxious feelings brought on by adoption. As much as I knew I wanted to experience pregnancy and child birth I knew I ultimately wanted to experience raising children and having a family more than anything else. Biology really never played a part in or decision making.