[ajjhmf]

Ok, so I'm about to start a fight with my school. My son has major anxiety issues and I'm having a problem getting to school to 1) believe me and 2) help him. And he's still in preschool. (My son attends the special needs preschool at our local elementary.) Anyway, he's really having problems at school and I don't want him to end up hating school because he dreads it so much. They just told me that he won't qualify for an IEP next year, despite everyone's aggreement that he's having problems and needs assistance. So, I'm investigating homeschooling, but I really don't know too much about it. I know alot of people on the board homeschool and I was wondering if you could point me in the right direction and maybe recommend some curriculum for me to look into.

I'm not giving up on my school yet, but I really want what's best for my little man. The school is convinved he's ADD/ADHD despite his doctor's saying it isn't. He's been DX with PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Not to mention he's become really depressed. When's he anxious he gets very wound. Thus the hyperactivity. Plus, they keep punishing him for 'acting up' and that makes him more anxious, so he gets more wound up. Every night he prays that he will 'sit still' and 'pay attention.' Things we don't say to him at home. We're working on these issues in counseling and we're looking into meds, but I REALLY don't like the idea of putting him on something that hasn't been tested in kids his age.

Sorry this got so long, it's been a rough day and I'm rambling. I have 3 calls into people and no one has called me back. I just feel like we're being railroaded and there is nothing I can do. I just know I'm not going to let my son get run over.

Blessings,
Jenny

[redhedded]

Jenny, First, I am so sorry for what you are experiencing. I do not have any information about homeschooling other than my extensive research for my own daughter; we have opted to send her to private school instead. However, as a long time social worker with children with severe MR, autism and a myriad of disabilities I know how wonderful and sometimes difficult the public school system can be. First, do you (your son) have a social worker or advocate at his school who has presumably assisted him in receiving Early Childhood Intervention? An interdisciplinary team meeting must be called to discuss his diagnosis. Has he been formally evaluated by the school psychologist or consulting psychologist? (Not that it means anything, but has she/he given him a separate label of ADD/ADHD?) Is his current PTSD dx from his pediatrician or a treating psychiatrist? The school is not in a position to question the diagnosis of a physician, and they are required to meet your son's needs in a way that you find acceptable if he meets the criteria of therapeutic services.

Don't give up! I can tell you first hand that many a parent I know has had to become extremely aggressive and sometimes ugly to advocate for her child; luckily they always had a small team of us behind them. Call, call and call again. Tell the Special Ed facilitator that you want to meet. Discuss what diagnoses are needed for your son to qualify for an IEP. If you are in a large area (or even if you are not) there should be a parent of children with special needs advocacy group that can guide you in the specific district. Most of these groups work closely as a team of parents with the schools and local attorneys to ensure that their children receive the services that the federal government mandates they are entitled to. I wish you lots of luck. It will take courage and tenacity. I may be able to provide more information if you need it and pm me.

[alwaysus]

My Husband and I home school our children, but none of them are special needs, so I can't advise you there. We have loved every minute of home schooling and I feel very fortunate to be able to do this for our family.
I wish you the best whatever you decide to do!

[Bassette]

My daughter did the Oak Meadow Homeschool program starting with the 6th grade. The thing I liked most about it was that there was a list of assignments and the student got to choose which one to do. This allowed my daughter to learn in a manner that best suit her personality and needs.

I'm sorry you are having problems with your son's school. Perhaps if your doctor would write out his diagnosis and refer him to the IEP program they would *have* to take it seriously and include him in the program. Rather a "to whom it may concern" letter to the school. Please don't feel pressured to medicate him for the school's convenience. I have heard of schools suggesting medication before and sometimes perhaps it's needed but I can't imagine the school is qualified to make that call, epspecially when your pediatrician is in complete disagreement?

I encourage you to trust your instincts. No one knows better than Mom. Take care and good luck to you.

[mumofone]

there are some wonderful websites out there for homeschooling.

The support staff in our school district was on strike recently, and we had to teach the children at home for just over a week. One of the sites I used was www.aplusmath.com

My son has a difficult time with math skills. We may get him a tutor. He is only 7, but he really needs the help now or I fear he may lose the basics and won't move on.

Good luck.

[momofmykids]

Your son sounds SO much like my 16 year old when he was younger! If you hadn't put your name on the posting, I could have sworn that I wrote it! First of all, let me say that medication is not ALWAYS the answer. We tried it with Daniel and it made him WORSE! Very violent and belligerant and he could tantrum for HOURS when on that stuff. I've learned that public schools want all children to fit into a mold, if the child doesn't fit that mold, then they need medicine, PERIOD! You will have to stand up and fight for what your child needs. The school would do things like make Daniel clean tables after lunch because he couldn't "sit still" or "behave". That lasted about one day, until I found out about it. I was on that place like white on rice! Redhedded may be able to help me here. We had Daniel certified as (I think) Section 504 (is that right Red?). When that certification is made, the child's behavior cannot be held against them (or this is the way it worked for us) to keep them from attending field trips or making them do extra things to make up for their behavior. Was your child adopted from foster care? Don't expect any sympathy from the school system, they may see him more as a liability than anything (don't mean for that to sound harsh, but I'm speaking from experience here!).

We finally put Daniel in private school for a few years and that just didn't work either...he has too many issues and too much trouble conforming to a classroom setting. I'm now homeschooling him (have been for the past few years) and it's going great. He has a lot of flexibility with his classes (he's 10th grade now), and is not expected to sit with his nose to the grindstone all day long. Some days, it takes him most of the day to get his work done, others, he can buckle down and get it done in 4-5 hours. I follow his lead to a certain point and we just go with the flow. He's doing great, making really good grades, and he's happy...he's a bit of a mama's boy!

Good luck in whatever you decide...I know how you feel. PM me if you'd like some support!

God bless,
Jill

[Linny]

I have been a homeschooling mom for many years (six years with the first two kids....2yrs with the middle kids...and I hope to homeschool the 'babies' when they are older). I'm not currently doing this as it was too difficult for my older boys (adopted as older kids)...after a few years. They now attend a private Christian School and it has done wonders for both of them!!!!
I'm a full advocate of homeschooling, if you are wanting to do this, and if your son wants it too. I think his wanting to do this is important at the beginning stages...and I believe homeschooling, combined with a lot of involvement with other people and children--through a support group, community groups, church, etc....are great---especially for kids with some special needs.

I don't know what state you live in....but you can call your phone info line to ask for the state homeschooling association closest to you. They will be able to answer more questions particular to your own state...and lead you to the right direction of curriculum (there are mountains available to you...just like the public schools).....and support groups.

If homeschooling is not something you choose to venture into...let me strongly suggest a private Christian School that has a small enrollment. Children with the situations as you describe, often do better in small, intimate settings (the benefit of homeschooling)....or groups (the benefit of a private school).
Please feel free to pm me if I can be of any help to you.

Sincerely,

Linny